AN: Plot was written by both of us. Kitty elaborated the plot, and Foxy wrote the actual writing. Kitty reviewed and approved. We do not own Durarara!!. And no, we're not revealing the pairing in this note 'cause that ruins things. Please review! Reviews always encourage us!
Just Cut Straight to the Heart
A Durarara!! Fanfiction by Kitty & Foxy
Prologue
Can you tell what I'm thinking? Can you tell what I'm thinking as I see myself now?
My feet were rooted to the ground. I couldn't move. My own blood had run cold as her blood started to pool upon the tiles, staining her jacket, flowing out through the indents in the floor.
I could feel with each breath my lungs swelling up larger and larger, my breathing growing louder and louder, and soon I felt a hitch in my throat. I knew that as I was breathing, she wasn't. She's not breathing anymore... of course she isn't... you got her in the heart... yeah, remember the heart? That little red diagram you see in biology on the wall to the right... that's the heart... it doesn't work if you stop it...
My fingers started to shake and I felt my bones begin to rattle against the metal; I felt all the irrational fears, all the irrational thoughts begin to engorge in my mind.
This wasn't supposed to happen...! This wasn't the plan! At all! All the confidence I had held earlier began to melt away; I felt my legs start to become like rubber as I stumbled backwards, still trying to breathe as I couldn't help but stare. Stare at that ... that ...
...Why did I come here? I couldn't help but wonder. I... I don't remember much anymore...
A sudden memory came to my mind; it was blurred, it was dissorienting, but it has the answer. But what answer... to what question?
The power was suddenly cut, and I felt air shoot into my lungs sharply enough that I started making strange noises; I didn't understand what was happening anymore. Plan? What plan? That had been thrown away when this happened...
That thing.. that's in front of me... I don't see it, but it's there... It's. There. IT'S THERE!
Fear overcame me; before I knew it, I turned the gun towards myself, looking down into it the best I could in the sheer darkness. I don't recall what was going through my mind at that moment; if I had known, I probably would have done it. Or did I do it? Death is already in front of me ... maybe it's here for me too ...
What happens to good people once they do something wrong?
I think I came close to answering that.
I didn't feel my fingers move; I didn't feel my arm move up so that the aim would be right. I heard a small clicking noise, and then a bang –
– and that was that.
Or was it?
I didn't feel any different; I was still in the same darkness. I was still shaking, almost uncontrollably. I could feel the air trapping in my throat. I could sense that thing was near me...
Maybe this is my hell... this is what I get for listening to the wrong people...
I didn't even see him come into the room. Of course I can't, it's dark. But I didn't hear, I didn't see. All I heard was that shot, and all I could see was that thing in front of me. I had done that, yes, I had done that ... all the years of being told to do good, I've done THAT...
I felt cold fingers grab my chin; I couldn't even see who it was anymore. I was numb to the world, sensitive only to what I had just done. But the voice came clearly and echoed around in my head, dancing like a snake as it slithered from a tree, crawled from the deepest pit of the fire's inferno:
"I forgot to tell you... all but one were blanks. You aimed well."
I felt his presence next to mine, but it was not warm, it wasn't kind. I felt him brush against my lips, and I felt nothing. How can I feel anything, with my greatest sin lying before me only a meter or two away? It was always going to follow me. It was going to lead me back to that tree, back to that pit, where it danced ever so gleefully...
This... this is my hell.
