Got this idea in a creative writing class and just had to write it about a couple I have recently come to enjoy. Trying to experiment with switching naturally between present and past tense. Let me know how it worked out.

Companion piece to Can't Stop. You don't need to read Can't Stop to understand or read this piece, but they are connected.

Trying my hand at a bit of angst?

A Maya/Lucas story with implied Riley/Lucas

Rated T for Tumultuous Relationships

Disclaimer: I do not own GMW and am merely using the characters for my own entertainment.


"And then he called me cute Maya! Cute! I can't believe he called me cute!"

"How exciting…That's great for you Riley…" Maya responds, tightlipped and somewhat sourly.

"You don't sound very excited. Is something wrong?"

Maya curses under her breath. She had been hoping her dismay wouldn't seep through her voice. She's glad Riley can't see her face because her best friend can read her like an open book, and Maya just knows, if Riley saw her expression, Riley would know something is wrong with Maya.

And there is something a little bit wrong.

But Maya will never tell Riley that they are crushing on the same guy. Correction: that she is crushing on the guy who Riley wants. The guy who Riley now has.

"Everything is fine, Riley. I'm just a little tired."

"Oh." The phone crackles, and Maya can hear the rustling of sheets and squeaking of springs as Riley hops on her bed, no doubt landing on her back with her legs dangling off in the way that they always do. "I can call you back later if you want?"

"No, no. It's okay. Tell me about how Lucas asked you out during gym."

"Well okay! So here I was trying to figure out where to go for flag football…"

And Maya tunes her out, leaning her head dejectedly against her postered wall, forcing the growing lump in her throat and sick feeling in her stomach down.


Maya doesn't know why she chose the library as a place to play hooky, but she doesn't want to walk all the way to the tree in the front courtyard of the high school, and anyway, there are comfortable beanbag chairs perfect for sleeping in the back of the library that have her name on them.

Not many people go to the back of the library because of the musty smell, dusty corners and books, and a slight dank darkness that is just the right amount of eerie to be creepy. Some people like to say that the area in the back is haunted. Others like to say there is a secret passageway leading to a dungeon where kids are tortured. Neither of which Maya believes, of course. Regardless, that area of the library is generally deserted.

So it is rather surprising when she turns the corner, expecting to be at her lonesome, only to find Lucas perched on one of her beanbags reading a book. He doesn't seem to notice her shocked stare. He looks relaxed and calm, and it bugs Maya how one guy can look so perfect just sitting and reading for goodness sake. But she pushes the thought to the back of her head and saunters over to the unoccupied beanbag, plopping down into it loudly and causing some air to whoosh out as if the bag was protesting the harsh treatment.

"Didn't take you for the kind to play hooky, Mr. Perfect."

He barely spares her a glance, "Didn't take you for a fan of Hello Kitty."

She frowns in confusion, before realizing in her haphazard seating, her pants slid down slightly from the comfort of her hips, showcasing a slight glimpse of the top of the special underwear she reserves for days when she runs out of clean underwear. Maya is surprised he caught it, as it is only a little sliver of the top.

She smirks in amusement, "Touché."

"I try."

She pulls her knees up to her chest and watches him read, wondering why he decided to come here of all places. And why exactly he is skipping a class. She always believed he was a model student. It's not like him to skip.

"What are you reading?"

"Shakespeare."

She snorts loudly, an unattractive sound that makes Lucas' nose crinkle cutely in slight disgust, "For a class?"

"For leisure." He corrects swiftly, giving her a lopsided grin that makes her drop her teasing smirk.

"Wait, seriously? You read Shakespeare for fun? While playing hooky in the library when you could do anything you want?"

He sets his book down on the ratty carpet, and leans back against the wall, hands behind his head as he observes the dark stains of dried mold on the ceiling. "Sometimes life at home just gets kinda rough, you know. My dad is always on my back about being the best son in our circle of family friends. I have to be at the top. I have to get top scores. I have to be a super athlete. It gets to be too much sometimes. So this is what I do to get away from it all." He tapers off quietly, and Maya stares at him, shocked at the sudden confession. "Even if it is a little weird."

She realizes as he speaks that she really doesn't know much about him. The time they spend hanging out is always with either Riley or Farkle there and never alone. She realizes she's never really had a real conversation with him either. Suddenly, it's like the image of Mr. Perfect crumbles a bit, and she's looking at a regular high school boy with worries and issues and teenage angst.

"I didn't know." She says quietly, feeling awkward.

He gives her a small smile, "Not many people do. It's not something I really talk about. My mom taught me from a young age that a gentleman never complains or talks about himself for too long."

Maya's lip curls. What kind of deranged crazy family did he come from?

"That's stupid! What do you do when you need to let some shit off your chest? Who do you talk to?"

He shrugs, "No one I guess."

And she feels bad, because she has always seen him as this perfect, desirable guy who never does anything wrong, has no difficulties, and seems to have his life completely under control. And it makes her sad because for the longest time, she has been judging the cover, but never reading the book… Or something like that… And she wants that to change.

"You can talk to me."

And he gives her this dubious look, like he can't believe those words came out of her mouth just now and believe her, she's just as shocked at what she just said, but she nods reassuringly and pats his crossed leg awkwardly.

"I'll listen."

"No offense, but you tend to mock people pretty frequently. How do I know you won't do that to me?"

And she glowers because they are supposed to be friends, yet she can tell he probably doesn't trust her all that much. And she wants that to change. Sure, she makes fun of him on occasion, but she would never make fun of him about something like this.

"Lucas."

And he does a double take because the last time she used his real name, and not some derogatory "cowboy" like nickname was when they first met those many years back.

"I know what it's like to have it rough, even if we are on the opposite sides of the spectrum of rough. You can talk to me. I promise I won't make fun of you… much."

The heavy atmosphere is lifted when his lips curl up into that smile that always makes Maya force her blush down to keep it from overtaking her face.

"Thanks Maya."

"No problem Ranger Rick."


"You should have seen Farkle! He was flying through the air Maya. Flying…"

Maya supposes that was when the vestiges of her crush began, though she didn't realize it at the time. That was when they began to have little library "dates" and met to talk about life, to talk about school, anything.

Maya didn't linger on the details of the conversations too much, but she always kept the quirky things Lucas said about his life, himself, or his family at heart. Like how his father's affair when Lucas was in elementary school left a strain on his parent's marriage that never quite left. How his mom drinks about two bottles of wine per day and tries to hide the bottles in the attic, but he discovered them when he had been looking for a childhood memento. How Lucas' father is deadset on having Lucas succeed the company and become a clone of himself. How Lucas developed a taste for writing and poetry that he's been hiding for several years.

"And then George. You know, George the super tall guy with the droopy eyes? He threw the football!"

His biggest secret? He frequently goes to the poetry nights at a quaint café a 15 minute drive from his house, but tells his dad it's an SAT prep course. Maya had laughed and poked fun at that, but had still accepted his offer to go one day, just the two of them, citing the possibility of her finding inspiration from the words to draw.

Soon enough, it became a tradition for them to meet in the library. They never really planned the meetings; they just sort of found each other. She learned when it was okay to poke fun at him and when she needed to back down and just listen. She could tell when something really bothered him by the way his sea colored eyes darkened with anger when he spoke about how his father treats his family. She could tell when he was hurting when the aquamarine color swirled with pain and longing. Pretty soon she could read his emotions, and she felt they had become much closer friends.

"But it had been raining so the ground was all slippery…"

Pretty soon, she noticed that he knew her pretty well too… And it scared her because she couldn't pinpoint the day when they were able to read each other so well.


"Honestly Maya, if you understand derivatives this well, you shouldn't be getting such bad grades in math." Lucas laughs as she rolls her eyes, shoving his math notebook back in his direction so he can complete the problem. She stretches like a cat and snuggles further into the beanbag bed she had created earlier.

"I live by a code, okay? If I don't do well, teachers don't expect much out of me, and then I don't have to live up to their expectations."

"So what you're really trying to say is that you don't want to disappoint anyone when you can't be what they want you to be. And to make sure you never disappoint them, you just don't try?"

She glares at him out of the corner of her eye. "That's not what I said."

"But that's what you meant." He leans down toward her, giving her this smug smile. He's close enough that she can see the tiny flecks of gold in his irises.

His infuriating (and kinda cute) smirk is irritating her, and she shoves him playfully away, her hand lingering on his chest for a bit longer than necessary.

"Shut up."

He laughs again, and she pouts, puffing out her cheeks in semi fake annoyance.

"It's not funny."

He sobers up momentarily, "You know, Maya. You don't have to be scared to make an effort."

"Whoever said anything about being scared, cowboy? I just don't want people to think I'm someone I'm not."

"But isn't that what you're doing now? Putting on airs and pretending to be a slacker? Being someone you're not?"

She narrows her eyes, her irritation at his comments growing. Particularly because they are hitting rather close to home.

"You think you know me well, huh cowboy?"

He shrugs with one shoulder, tilting his head and giving her a soft smile, "Yeah Maya. I think I do."

She sneers, the need to challenge his declaration rising, "Oh yeah? Where is my favorite place to draw then?"

"That's easy. The roof of your apartment complex." He looks so sure of himself, it pisses Maya off.

"But why? Why is it my favorite?" There's no way he can know this one.

He watches her face wordlessly, searching for something while she fights the urge to look away from his imploring gaze and stare at the ceiling or the ground or anywhere that's not in his eyes. It's been getting harder to look Lucas in the eye for extended periods of time.

Seemingly finding what he had been looking for, a corner of his mouth lifts gently, in a sort of half smile that makes the hair on Maya's arms stand on end, "Because watching the bustling people walking about in the street helps you feel like time stands still for you in the craziness of your daily life. Because that one perfect moment when you're drawing is the one moment that you never want to end."

And the answer is so outlandish, so farfetched, so crazy, so true that she can't help but feel her heart start to race as she stares into his beautiful emerald green eyes. Her stomach flutters happily, and she swallows thickly with slight trepidation.

Shit.

And that's when she knows she's in trouble, because she knows exactly what her reaction means.

She's falling for Lucas.

Hard.


Maya remembers she had rapidly excused herself, red faced and stammering, from their little study date, claiming that she had to go to work. Because she knew if she stayed there, he would know. Or he would find out. And she couldn't let that happen.

"So here I was, trying to catch the football, and I had no idea how to play!"

Maya wanted Lucas for her own, but how could she even consider taking him when Riley's face brightened with light in that extra special way while she talked to Lucas that Maya had always wished she could have? How could she even consider trying to take Lucas, who Riley had been in love with since they were in their younger years? Riley had dibs. She'd wanted him first. And Maya was not going to stand in the way of her best friend's wishes.

But Maya couldn't help that she loved spending time with him. Loved hanging out with him and talking about the stupidest things and having the dumbest arguments over boxers versus briefs and other stuff.

And that's when the guilt started.


The doorbell rings and Maya's sleepy eyes slide open slowly, thinking it's just a next door neighbor's doorbell or the newspaper boy or something. Not of importance, so she closes her eyes again, hoping she can slip into some semblance of sleep with her abdomen churning so violently like this. Groaning in annoyance when the ringing of the bell doesn't cease, she yells at her mom's most recent live in boyfriend to open the fucking door. But then she remembers that they had broken up the week before, so Maya gets up from the couch, irritated and wondering who is interrupting her poor, ailing uterus' rest. With many groans and painful tugs in her abdomen, she stomps laboriously to her door, stooped over and somewhat gripping her sore abdomen. She yanks the door open, ready to rip this interrupter a new one.

"Oh, it's you. Aren't you scared to be walking around these parts? Those prostitutes across the street take prisoners, you know? You're just their type."

"I'm aware. I almost got captured along the way. You owe me."

She fights the smile that threatens to break out across her face. These days it's becoming harder not to smile her widest when around Lucas. There is just something about him that makes her smiles break out freely and unreserved, that makes her face light up every time she sees him, that makes her laugh with no inhibitions. And then the guilt sets in when she remembers Riley telling her about how Lucas's daily locker notes make her day. How Lucas sits next to Riley in class, and they spend the entire period playing tic tac toe and four square and five in a row, and they wager their pudding or other good dessert on dessert days. How every Tuesday, Lucas walks Riley home and buys her Italian shaved ice from the vender on 5th street. She closes her eyes and forces herself to focus.

"What are you doing here, Lucas?" She keeps a tight lock on her smile, trying her best to keep her expression neutral, her face from betraying the happiness she feels when near him.

"You weren't at school today." He lifts up a grocery bag of goodies with a tantalizing smile, "Rocky road ice cream, gummie worms, and whipped cream. Riley told me you'd appreciate it."

It's a Tuesday. He should be walking Riley home. But he's here.

And Maya feels even more guilt. Riley trusts her with Lucas. Because she has unwavering faith in Maya. She knows nothing would ever happen. It doesn't even occur to Riley that Maya has been jonesing for Lucas for a while now.

She reaches out to take the bag, but Lucas lifts it higher with a teasing smirk, knowing that Maya can't and wouldn't try to reach that high. She has half a mind to kick him where it hurts, but the moment she attempts to lift her leg is the moment her reproductive system decides to punish her for trying to hurt the beautiful man who has fueled its pleasure in her imagination for several nights now.

Damn traitorous body…

"Not so fast. I also brought this." He holds up a gory splatter movie that Maya has been dying to see for ages, "Figured we could watch it together? Maybe laugh at all the stupid things these people do? Remember, you owe me."

And she throws the guilt out the window, because he just looks so cute standing in her doorway with the one eyebrow slightly raised. And dammit he is being absolutely the sweetest when she feels and probably looks like absolute shit right now. And she's tired of watching reruns of The Price Is Right and she really, really would like that ice cream.

"Fine. Come in."

It doesn't take long for them to get comfortable, and they trade off taking scoops of ice cream, and interjecting scenes of the movie with their incredulity of the stupidity of the characters and laughing at their expense. And somehow, in between him overstuffing her mouth with whipped cream and a tiny battle in trying to put gummi worms up each other's nose, she realizes her body no longer aches, and she hasn't felt this serene since the day her mother survived the bad flu she had gotten from a customer at the diner.

When she wakes up the next morning tucked under her sheets in her bed, there's some breakfast sitting on the counter and a text from Lucas saying he didn't want to wake her and that they should do a movie night again sometime. She texts him back with an 'it's a date' and a smiley face wink. It is singlehandedly the sweetest thing that has ever been done for her, and she gushes like a schoolgirl for half a second before Riley calls her. Just like that, the guilt rushes back full force, and Maya feels like crawling in a hole.

Riley loves Lucas. She has loved him for much longer than Maya ever liked him. This was wrong.


"So here I am, covered in mud, trying to get up, but because the ground is totally slippery…"

And so Maya tried to put some distance between them. But it was futile. Lucas is like a magnet. A very sexy, beautiful hunk of a magnet, and she is the metal that cannot help but gravitate to him.

His presence is steady and comforting, and she never feels as at peace as she does when she is with him.


"What a dumb film. I mean everything could have been avoided if those idiot parents had just let their daughter play outside her room for once."

Lucas laughs, a melodious sound that turns the apple of Maya's cheeks rosy red. Lucas was already handsome, but when his face held that gleeful expression and he laughed unabashedly, he looked absolutely ravishing.

"Oh c'mon. Sometimes there need to be idiotic moments in movies in order for the storyline to be carried out."

"Yeah, no. What a waste of eleven dollars." Maya whines, letting her head drop back in exasperation, "I paid good money for that ticket and it set me back a couple hours at work to buy it."

"Next time it'll be on me. How does that sound?"

Maya glowers at him, "Of course it'll definitely be on you. You're the one who convinced me to see this stupid movie anyway."

"Understood." he chuckles softly.

They both stop in front of Maya's apartment complex, since they have arrived, and suddenly, Maya feels awkward and doesn't know what to do. She looks up at him and quickly looks away when she finds him staring rather intensely down at her. She swallows thickly and hopes that this weird moment will pass. A gentle night breeze flows past them, ruffling his hair and jacket and causing a few stray strands of hair to leave their perch behind her ears and fall onto her rosy face.

Lucas reaches out and tucks the strands of her blond hair behind her ear, his knuckles brushing lightly against her jaw, but they never leave her face and he caresses her cheeks softly. Maya doesn't dare move, believing that if she moves, the spell will shatter, and he'll be gone.

She lifts her eyes to his slowly, getting lost in the darkened hue.

"Maya…"

He whispers her name like it's a prayer on his lips, and her breath catches. She knows what should come next.

She wants to kiss him. Wants to reciprocate. Wants to close the gap between them. And she almost does.

Until she sees Riley's beautiful smiling face in her mind's eye. Riley, who would never believe Maya would snatch anyone from her. Riley, who has complete and utter faith in Maya and would never expect her to commit such a betrayal. Riley, who is a good person. A better person for Lucas, and the one who deserves him.

Maya feels like shit. She knows she can't close the gap. That gap should never have been shortened to begin with. She's breaking a code. She's breaking a code with the one girl who has made her life singlehandedly better just by being her friend everyday. Just by being her. And Maya wants to keep Riley happy. She wants to keep that smile on Riley's face.

So she pulls away from Lucas with a terse, awkward laugh, and his hands drop to his side, a slight miffed and hurt expression crawling into his gaze. Maya swallows deeply and tries to smile, but it comes out as a grimace, she is sure, and the smile does not quite reach her eyes.

"Well I've got to go Lucas. See you tomorrow."

And she runs. Runs away from him, runs away from what might have happened because she knows she won't be able to control herself.


That isn't to say it was easy to run. There were times when Maya almost lost control of her hormones and would be so close to succumbing to her temptations with Lucas. Times when looks would linger too long. Times when hands would touch a bit too far up or down during hugs. Times when her gaze would travel to his lips. Times when flirting got a bit too rambunctious, and she found the space between them casually decreasing. But she always stopped herself. And she always rejected him in one way or another.

"Of course Coach Donna is very rough around the edges, so you can imagine what happened next…"

This horrid game of him chasing after her and her backing away continued until he began to be wary of her. Until she could start feeling him pulling back each time she backed away. And though it was for the best, her skin grew cold at the thought of him backing away to give her space. She didn't want the space. But she had to. For the sake of her friend.


Maya checks off the number of bins of cut mushrooms in the large icebox before moving onward to the next item on the list.

She's in the back storage room of the inventory at the café in which she works eating some cookies when the door opens. She thinks it's her manager and quickly stuffs the cookie packet down the front of her shirt in a panic. She's already gotten busted for eating the goods without permission and one more could get her fired.

"So you wanna tell me why you've been acting weird these past few weeks?"

That is not her manager.

Maya spins around in alarm, her eyebrows jumping, "How did you get in here?"

"I asked your manager. She didn't seem to have any problems letting me through."

Maya rolls her eyes. No doubt her boy-crazy manager had been charmed by Lucas's southern charm, good looks, and height.

"What do you want, cowboy? I'm kind of busy."

"Busy eating the inventory you are supposed to count?"

"Hey! It's a difficult job! I deserve some breaks every once in a while."

He doesn't crack a smile or chuckle in that cute way like he usually does when he teases her and their conversation turns fun and flirty. Instead he scrutinizes her with a sort of glint in his eyes. It makes Maya uneasy.

"Maya can I try something?"

She frowns, wondering what exactly he means by try something. He approaches her, and she starts to bring out the claws because her heart is hammering in her chest, and she doesn't know how to respond except with fight. But her guard is completely shattered when he pulls her by her waist, and his lips meet hers in a soft, gentle kiss that leaves her breathless.

It takes her all of two seconds to react. She moans into his mouth and reaches up around his neck, tilting her head and pulling him closer to deepen the embrace. Her legs feel like jello, and she feels like she's melting, but she's also flying and fuck she doesn't think she can stand on her feet anymore with the way he's using his tongue.

It feels so right.

And immediately, she knows this is wrong.

She's a horrible friend who doesn't deserve Riley.

Ignoring the emotional pain, she bodily rips herself away from Lucas and his seductive, sensual kisses and pushes him backwards away from her, wiping her mouth vigorously. He stumbles backwards and trips on a bag of flour, causing it to tear and spill all over the ground. Lucas stares at her in shock. His expression is completely unreadable.

"Was it really that bad?" His voice sounds thick and husky, but the effect is marred by the disconcerted undertone laced in his words. "Was it really that bad?" He repeats, more to himself than to her.

She tries to catch her breath, her eyes wide and looking like a deer in headlights. She's scared. Her body was seconds away from completely giving in. Seconds away from destroying the trust Riley has in her.

"What is your deal, Maya?" The frustration and exasperation is very clear in his expression now. "I mean, one minute, I think you want me. But then the next, you close yourself off and all I feel from you is ice cold. Work with me here. You keep sending me mixed signals. Do you like me or not? Because I like you Maya. A lot."

She wants so badly to say yes. So badly to pull him to her and kiss those tantalizing lips again that she has been dreaming about for so many months. And she almost does. Almost. But she doesn't.

His confession should make her happy. She should be jumping for joy. But she can't. Because all she can see is Riley's tear stained face if she were to find out that Maya was with Lucas. Maya knows it would break her heart. So she steels her nerves and prepares herself to end this officially.

"Well, I don't like you like that." she starts shakily, fighting hard to lace venom in her words, "You're just a friend to pass the time with. I'm not interested in you, and I will never be interested in you. Don't flatter yourself. You're not my type remember?"

Lucas is silent and stares at her in bewilderment. She can tell he does not believe her, but she needs to end this and drive the point home.

"What made you think I would ever want to be with you like that?" she scoffs, laughing mirthlessly. It sounds hollow in her ears, "I'm way out of your league."

She tries to ignore the damaged expression in his emerald eyes, the way his mouth turns down in a frown, the way his face looks like he had just been slapped and burned. And she knows she succeeded. The lump in her throat grows, and she feels the sting of tears in the back of her eyes.

"Fine. I get the point." He turns around to start to leave, "You know, I don't get you Maya. Why do you always have to shut people out who try to get close to you? Here I thought I finally understood you; I thought we had developed something real, and then this..."

She looks down, not only because her eyes are filling with tears, but also because if she looks at him, she knows her resolve will crumble.

She will remain resolute.

She will remain resolute.

She stares at the scuff marks on the linoleum floor and clenches her shaking fists, biting her lower lip to keep from speaking.

Lucas sighs in resignation when he realizes she has no intention of continuing this conversation, "See you at school."

She waits until he's gone before she crumbles to the ground and lets the tears fall, shoulders shaking with the heavy sobs that wrack her whole body. Because that is the one thing he would never understand. She likes him, but Riley is more important to her than any man in the world. Because she owes it to Riley. Because Riley saved her when she was on the brink of destruction. Riley had opened her eyes and given her so many reasons to live when she was on the verge of giving up. Riley meant the world to her, and Maya would do anything for her. Even if it meant giving up the one guy who always understood her.


That is the last time they meet together. Shortly after, Maya stops going to the library. She doesn't want to run into him, and quite frankly, with the way things left off, she doesn't think they would be able to comfortably talk to each other anymore. They stop hanging out by themselves. Lucas still tells Maya about his home life, but their friendship is strained, uneven. Like there is an element missing. And though it breaks Maya's heart, she puts a big ole smile on her face and pretends like his confession really didn't matter. The sooner he realizes she doesn't care, the sooner he will get over her. It takes almost three months for their friendship to get back its semblance of normalcy.

It takes three months for him to finally get over her and move on.

"Maya? Maya are you still there?"

Maya sniffles away from the phone and roughly wipes her eyes before letting a grin overtake her features. Riley is happy. And that's all that truly matters. Maya will get over him eventually.

"Congratulations Riley! Where is Lucas taking you?"