It was the fall, the middle of the day when I found myself alone , my broken , ripped to pieces by the person I had once loved; in all honestly I should have seen it coming , but I was just so blind that I couldn't think or even see the truth.
I lay against the brick wall of the school in the blanket of leaves, as I watched the wind pass by blowing against my face and light blond hair that I had grown past my ears, this day marked the day where the best thing in my life walked out of my life.
Kenny, he was my first ever crush; I really did love him but was always just too shy to work up the nerve to ask him out so-so all I could do was just be there and laugh as I played along to the game, at the very beginning I should have taken the hint that he had feelings for her; he was always around her and she tell him her hopes and dreams. The two were totally different so I didn't think much of it. Wendy was still a cheerleader but she um was never afraid to speak her mind, I think Kenny fell for her right then.
I nearly lost my mind when he told us, how could he? Was it me? I don't have the an-answers but even though I was broken inside, I played my bright yet broken smile and just said 'I'm um so-so happy for you ken' I honestly don't know why I lied so quickly, next thing I knew I was out here oh boy…. I don't think I can go back and face them Without breaking down.
I found myself crying it stings the pain and I can't stand it my vision is blurred by the tears , I don't even hear the foot steps that come near me. " Hey, move kid" a tall teen stood beside me, his eyes were dark along with his eyeliner as he didn't even spare me a second look my way, by the smell of cigarettes that come off the group that stood before me I knew who they where right away they where the goth kids, they were hardly seen around the school , although I think I knew their names little by little because they seemed to be the only one's out of my friends who would even speak to me.
As I moved a little to the side for them , the taller one that had addressed me before, He is taller than the rest of fella's with curly black hair. His large nose is visible along with his ears, unlike most us. He is possibly half-Asian, half-Caucasian, he was pointing out something " this is perfect, so dark and so awesome"
" god ! we want our band to be noticed not end up on those old fucking poem shows!" Pete smoke up, I was sure that was his name, his hair seemed to be shaved on one side he ran a hand though his dyed red roots. He also has a long fringe, which he is constantly seen flipping out of the way when it gets in his eyes. Why doesn't he just cut it! I mean well geez it might help him out a little more. Pete was suddenly punched in the arm by his girlfriend Henrietta Biggle the two seemed to fight a lot, I guess it's because Michael hangs around her a lot. I heard from Wendy that they used to date before she started seeing pete; I think she smokes more than anyone in the group " don't be such a dick" she barked while taking the smoke that Pete had against his lips.
" um, just what are you up too?" I asked shly playing with my fingers , they all seemed to look at me looking as if they were trying to decide if I was welcome or not? They looked back at each other, Pete looked like he was about to say something but the small goth cut in " I think he's cool" Michael soon shook my hand and smiled " you not goth but we welcome in the land of the dead" " um thank you?" I wasn't sure how to react to that " and if you must know where holding a band concert it's going to be totally dark and sad…you should come" I blinked a band? It was no surprise but the fact they wanted me around was what threw me off " you-you want me?" I smiled "sure! I'll be there! Oh boy!" I cheered standing up.
Just like that, they left and I was alone again ; as I stand in front of the poster with dark colors that read ' children of the night'.
It was kind of dark name for band, yet somehow I think it suits them! It seemed like everyone in south park , was into some kind of band I-I don't like leaving here too much but when I asked to move my family just tells me I should be thankful for what I have, they mean well but they just don't understand me or any of my dreams for that matter.
Maybe going out to the band concert would be good for me, maybe if I do my best and be on my best behavior they might let me go! Oh boy!
" butters! You not going out on a school night! Plus we don't you a drug up homo!"
Then again maybe not, nothing goes as planned for me; it seemed like I was doomed to live this way, but he was my father and I had to follow the rules or e-else I'll get grounded!
"your father is right son, you shouldn't be out while were not home"
" yes sir, yes mam"
I am not brave enough to go against my family, I-I just can't I'm such a what Eric calls a 'pussy' excuse my language but I know it's true just like how I know that everyone thinks or maybe they know I'm gay.
I sniffed as I sat in my room, it was nearly midnight when suddenly my phone rang, only Eric and Wendy call me, the ringtone is hello kitty.
Using my left hand I look at the caller ID, It was Eric " E-Eric?" " shut up Butters, you and me are going to fucking rock concert" " b-but Eric it's late I'll get grounded!" " Butters don't be pussy, and fucking get your ass outside!" and with that small comment, I hear a click and sighed; oh boy.
There was no winning with Eric, it was always easy just to agree and play along with his schemes, to tell the truth I kinda like going on advancers with Eric and the other fellas. I know he only uses me, I'm not-not that blind. I didn't want to go but it wouldn't hurt if I just went one time and if I hurry I can ge-get back in time, I guess.
So here I am, trying to warm my hands while my small blue cooper heat's up, I wait and wait; I rested my eyes just for a moment " WAKE UP SLEEPING BEAUTY!"
The sound of beating against my glass window causes me to snapped my eyes open " huh!? What!?" I looked to my side window and see none of other then Eric, or at least I think it was I roll down my window, he was wearing a black large t-shit, reading in what like blood, he was also wearing spike bracelets " Eric-Eric why are ya dressed like that?" he just groaned and shook his head " It's for the concert! dumbass! And what are you wearing, a hello kitty shirt?" I wasn't really planning on leaving in the middle of night, oh geez why don't I ever learn
" s-sorry Eric I didn't really think about it" I spoke softly as I watched Eric sit in the front seat, for a moment he almost looked hot.
" what are you looking at?" He growled " no-nothing! I was just thinking-" " don't care just fucking drive you fag"
" so-so where is it begin held?" " Los angeles" He answered as if it was the most simple answer, wait ..what!? I splammed on the breaks, causing Eric to hit his head against the window " OW SON OF BITCH! WHAT THE HELL BUTTERS" I looked at him like he had gone insane, not that it-it would surprise me.
" first off put on your seat belt and second lost angeles! E-Eric I can't go across the country! I'll get grounded!" I tried to sound mad but my voice sounded like a squeak.
" Butters, Butters" He shook his head, speaking in that voice he always uses to try and get his way. " do you want to be a pussy for the rest of your life? Don't you want to live the life of begin bad and not following the rules!" I looked down taking his words in, I didn't want to be coward , but-but I just can't help it " well m-maybe"
"then tonight is our night! To be rebels!" He smirked while making his very brave speech. I smiled I had to give him credit, that was really good. He did have a point I guess it wouldn't hurt to just visit right?
" g-gee I guess you're right, okay but-but we can't stay there long" " whatever, just shut up and drive"
It was the best night of our lives, even if I did throw up once or maybe twice, I did found out my love for Rock music, the stars were bright that night and the moon was white as my skull T-shirt that Eric had made me buy for the two of us with my own money. It was almost sun rise by the time the concert was almost over, I was sad and shucks I be lying if I said I didn't want to go back but sadly we had to or my family would give me a good talk in too of my life.
Little did I know, there would be more times to come where I would break out and go to my favorite band with Eric, this is where it all started. I guess.
