Chapter 1: 4 Letter Word
Emily's POV
I am upstairs in my room waiting for Paige. I told her to come over because I need some help studying for a big test coming up. That part is true but it's not the actual reason I asked her over. I have to tell her something important and if I don't say it I feel like I might explode. I hear the door open downstairs open and close. I go over what I'm going to say to her in my head about twenty times. I have never been this nervous about anything but I have to do this I have to tell her. The last time I said this was to Maya and she ended up doing just a few weeks later. I have to make sure this is perfect. It's just a four letter word yet it can cause so many people happiness or pain. I hear footsteps coming up the stairs. I have to do the right thing. If I don't tell her now I won't be able to live with myself. I hear my room door open. I don't turn around I just grip onto the edge of my desk tighter.
"Hey." Paige greets me as she walks into my room. I finally turn around but I don't look at her.
"Hi." I say as my eyes are still fixated on the ground. Paige steps closer to me.
"Em, What's wrong?" Paige asks. She places her hand on my shoulder. I finally look into her eyes. They are filled with concern and worry.
"Nothing is wrong I just need to talk to you about something." I say looking away from her again. I motion for her to sit on the bed.
"Seriously Em, what's going on?" She asks me.
" Paige you have been here with through thick and thin, you comforted me when my died, you were a friend for me when I needed one, you were with me after everything that happened with Nate and the Halloween train, you have been nothing but good to me and so happy to have you in my life… We are going to college together soon and I can't wait to start that chapter of my life with you…" I pause preparing myself for the next part of my speech. She smiles.
"I think you are just perfect… you're smart, funny, caring, kind, beautiful, and the bravest person I know and…." I pause taking a deep breath. Here goes nothing. I think to myself.
"I love you Paige McCullers." I finally say. Paige looks at me in shock then she smiles. She gets up and kisses me passionately. She wraps her arms around my waist and I tangle my hands in her hair as we kiss. Paige opens her mouth to deepen the kiss and our tongues dance together. The kiss slows down into just pecks. Paige kisses me on last time before pulling away and giving that beautiful smile that makes me her melt and weak in the knees.
"I love you too Emily Fields." She says to me. Paige moves a strand a hair from in front of my face and tucks it behind my ear.
I lead her to my bed and I tell her to lay down. I climb on top of her and straddle her hips. We look into each other's eyes. I smile and kiss her. I immediately deepen the kiss. Paige's hands find their way to the edge of my shirt. She slips her hands under my shirt and her fingertips ghost over the area. I shiver in response. She tugs on the bottom of my shirt. I know what she wants so I pull away and take my shirt off. She sits up slightly and takes her shirt off too. She kisses me again our tongues battling for dominance. I moan. I kiss is filled with love, want, and passion.
This is all new territory for us. Usually if things started to get to serious either Paige or I would stop things from progressing. This exciting yet terrifying for both of us. I haven't had sex since Maya and Paige is a virgin. I begin making a trail of kisses down Paige's neck. I stop at her pulse point and begin to nip and suck at the area. Paige moans loudly. I slowly graze my hand down Paige's shoulder, breast, stomach, and stop right on the button of her jeans. Without even thinking about it I unbutton and then unzip Paige's jeans. Just then my room door flies open.
"I'm sorry to interrupt, I just have to grab my purse." Hanna says smirking. I glare at her and get off of Paige. Hanna walks over to the closet and grabs her purse.
"It's fine Hanna, we just got carried away." Paige says as she gets off of my bed and starts looking for her shirt.
"Looking for this Paige." Hanna giggles and tosses Paige her shirt. Paige's face turns red. Hanna walks back over to the door.
"I thought you were with Caleb." I say still glaring at Hanna.
"You can stop with the killer glare Em, Caleb is downstairs waiting for me." Hanna says while eyeing Paige and I. "I guess I'll be going then, Oh and Paige your jeans are unzipped and unbuttoned, I guess you were close to getting a homerun with Em Paige, nice job I guess you've got some game after all." Hanna says smirking at me. Paige looks away embarrassed.
"Get out Hanna!" I throw a pillow at her as she leaves. An awkward silence fills the room. Paige clears her throat.
"We should probably start studying so you don't fail that test." Paige says as she gets up and grabs my text from my desk. She looks at me a look of want covering her eyes.
"Yeah we probably should." I say. I look at her with the same amount of want as I sit next to her and get out my notebook. I can feel the sexual tension in the room. It is very noticeable. Every so often I can see Paige glancing over and looking at me with want.
There is no way neither of us are not ready to take the next step. The only thing is how I bring up a conversation like that. I know Paige is scared because it will be her first time but I'm just as scared as she is. I love Paige and she loves me. I just want her first time and our first time together to be romantic and memorable. I look at Paige and just carry on with studying. I'll find a way to approach this subject it has to be sooner than later before we both end up doing something we would end up regretting.
