Robin And Starfire's First Kiss … Sort Of

Thy course of True Love never doth runne smoothe – W. Shakespeare, sort of.

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Robin hit the punching bag. He was angry. He danced around on the mat in the gym, unleashing a volley of punches. No, he was frustrated. He threw a roundhouse kick, then a couple high and low side kicks, and finally a spinning back kick that sent the heavy bag swinging.

No, no, he was fine. Everything was fine. He wiped the sweat out of his eyes, and went for a drink from his water bottle, slowly realizing he was all of those things.

So, to put it simply, he was confused.

Today was the day he was going to talk to Starfire. He had marked it on the calendar. He was just going to go up to her and tell her - casually, you know - just mention that he, well, thought of her as more than just a teammate, and would she, maybe, like to, you know, go out to a movie?

That didn't even go smoothly when he said it in his own mind. It wasn't that he thought she'd say no (of course, she might, a little voice told him). He felt pretty confident from the signals that she was sending that she would say yes. It was just that words were not his friend. At least, words like these. And then there were all the worries about what this might do to the rest of the team, how they might react...

He sat down on the bench and drank from his bottle. The ice cold water going down his throat felt so refreshing. He relaxed and let his mind fill with thoughts of Starfire.

He had known her for a long time now. She was a trusted and highly competent team member with awesome abilities. She was a good friend. She was always cheerful, always had a good word for everyone. The tone of her voice was so sweet. Her laughter could light up a room. The sound of it, and her smile, could pull him back when he was in one of his darkest of moods.

Let's not forget how beautiful she was. Of course, he tried to push those thoughts out of his mind when the team was together. But her eyes sparkled in shades of yellow and green that didn't quite match any human eye, yet were exotic and intoxicating. He didn't risk staring into them for too long or he'd start to blush, or stammer, or worse. And her hair, her long hair... It was always so shiny and clean, and smelled of faintly strawberries, or blueberries, or maybe even zorkaberries, whatever they were.

And Starfire knew everything about hair care products, shampoos, conditioners...Robin knew about two kinds of shampoo: the bottle that made his scalp itch, and the other one. Hair gel did the rest.

Speaking of which, Robin got up and headed back to his room for a quick shower. Certainly he had to be clean when he talked to Starfire. But when he got in his door, a wave of exhaustion hit him. He flopped down on his bed and lay on his back for a moment. Maybe a quick power nap would be just the thing to take the edge off...

He thought about Starfire's long hair again, what it would be like if she was leaning over him now. Her hair sparkling in the light, shining like fire - like star fire. It would brush against his face, smelling of strawberries and cream. And her lips, they would be so soft, so wonderful to kiss. He could just raise his head up and kiss her...

That's it! he thought as he drifted off to sleep. He wouldn't start off with some awkward speech where he'd just get tongue tied. He'd wait for the right moment and just kiss her. A little kiss, of course. Non verbal communication. That's how they did it in the movies. It didn't really have to be today. But someday, someday soon, he would kiss her.

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Robin awoke an hour later, still feeling pretty good about his idea. But he realized that it must be today, or else he would start putting it off again. He had written it on the calendar, after all. He took a quick shower - hopefully using the non-itchy shampoo - gelled up his hair, admired himself for a long moment, and threw on a clean uniform. Now to find Starfire.

Fortunately, she was easy to find. He heard her rustling pans around in the kitchen, no doubt cooking up one of her home world delicacies. He looked all around no make sure no one else was near, then slipped into the kitchen.

Starfire was at the stove with her back to him. Her long hair shimmered in the light. She was stirring a pot filled with something bubbling, something that smelled like turpentine and looked like india ink. She put the spoon to her mouth for a little drink.

"Mmmm," she said in approval.

"Are you gazasternomrabilaxing?" he suavely asked her, expecting to hear a cute little giggle at his language attempt.

She whirled, her eyes a mixture of shock and anger. "Robin! That was dirty. You need to apologize right now!"

"Star! I'm so sorry!…You know I can't speak your language".

"Yes, I know." Her expression softened, but only a little. "Otherwise I would be honor bound to be doing the kicking in your gabendresticles now."

"Well, it sure smells good," he said, red faced, as he made his retreat.

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Later in the evening, he decided to try again. They were sitting on the sofa, watching TV. It was Starfire's night to choose the programming, and she had recorded some good ones. Robin had outlasted all the other Titans, sitting though shows about brides behaving badly, celebrities, celebrity botox injections, World of Edible Fungi, and now whether or not Sasquatch had evolved from the aliens responsible for Easter Island.

Raven had been peeking over the top of her book during the brides show ( a hidden romantic? his analytic mind wondered), but the celebrity gossip took her out. Cosmetics and cosmetic surgery (and the needles) nixed Beast Boy, but it took the fungus show to defeat Cyborg, who had been in full veg-out-on-sofa mode.

Now he and Starfire were alone. She only had Silkie on her lap.

He gulped down the last of his drink. He leaned over. Leaning...Leaning…

"Bath time!" she cried. She picked up Silkie and began vigorously licking her little bumgorf.

Turning even more green than during the fungus show, Robin excused himself.

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Robin was pondering his next move when the alert came. The Ding Dong Daddy and some friends had drag raced through town, and helped themselves to a bank vault as a pit stop. The Titans shut them down, but not before Robin was hit with a spare tire and knocked out.

When he awoke he was lying on a bed in the medical bay of the tower. Cyborg had just injected him with something.

"Relax, man, you're gonna be fine," Cyborg said. "Maybe next time, don't try to stop a tire with your head though."

Robin smiled weakly and tried to get up, but fell back.

"I've just given you a sedative. You need to rest."

He felt woozy. When he opened his eyes again, Starfire was bending over him, cleaning some of his wounds. Beast Boy brought her some gauze. Her long beautiful hair brushed his face as she tended to him.

"Starfire," he murmured.

"Hush," she said gently.

Beast Boy left to get something, and Starfire departed too, promising to be right back. Robin closed his eyes as the room spun around him.

Soon he felt her leaning over him again, felt her hair brushing against his cheek. He could smell her perfume, or maybe it was her scented lip gloss...just like his dream.

It was now or never.

He lifted his head up and kissed her, feeling her soft mouth, feeling her sharp canine tooth…

What the f…?

He opened his eyes to see a shocked Beast Boy looking back at him.

"Dude!"

"Sorry! I'm sorry. My bad. It's the sedative…"

"Um…yeah."

Quickly switching into full macho mode, Robin dropped his voice an octave and became studiously casual. He nodded a greeting to his friend.

"Whassup, bro? How's it hangin'?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?" he replied, still scowling at him.

"I said I was sorry…"

Robin noticed Raven in the distance. He closed his eyes again.

He could hear the door slide open and the footsteps of Beast Boy and Raven walking out.

"That was hot," Raven monotoned.

"Um…" Beast Boy stammered.

The door closed behind them.

Robin didn't know what happened next. He didn't know if she was being sarcastic, or if Beast Boy had finally piqued Raven's interest. And he didn't care. All he thought about as he drifted off to sleep was the smell of strawberries with cream and her soft lips. Someday, he thought. Someday.