Before Clary, or BC, Alec had many times thought about running away, giving up his life in New York and never coming back. But then the responsibilities would catch up to him, and the guilt would eventually eat him, so he, being the coward he was, stayed.
Then, it was like the only time someone up there listened to his prayer and grant him his wish. The Clave called him in and assigned him a long mission somewhere far, far away from NYC. They, including his parents, felt that in order for him to grow into a leader of his own, he had to gain experience without his family or friends' help. He gladly accepted it, gladly to be far away from Jace, who was not only his parabatai, but also the one he currently thought to have a crush on; far away from Izzy, his beautiful and smart, but also so so reckless, sister; far away from the expectation that his parents, his family, had put upon him. He was barely out of puberty for spirits' sake, he did not want to always feel like he forgot how to breathe. He never voiced his thoughts out loud, could never voice it out loud. Hence, he packed his clothes, his weapons, said goodbyes to his siblings, left and finally, simply breathe.
Somewhere in his long mission, if he manages to found a trickster, then said trickster turned out to be an archangel, well, it was no fault of his. And, if along the way, they became friends, Loki became Gabriel, well, he really had no idea how it could happen. Gabriel was a breath of fresh air, though. He also helps him to understand and accept who he was. That was one of the reasons why Alec accepted their friendship, accepted that his life would become so much crazier. At the end of the day, whatever happened to them, he would always point his finger at Gabriel (or Loki, or whatever his companion wanted to be called). Then again, because of Gabriel, Alec finally knew how big the world was, what it meant to be free. Free to be who he was, free from being the head who wore the crown, of being a brother, a son.
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Alexander Lightwood reminded Gabriel of a younger version of Michael, who, before the responsibilities were not too much and the love for the father was not out of obligation, was a loving brother, a loving son. It almost hurt to look at the Alec before he met Gabriel, who taught him knew how to have fun, how to enjoy himself. Because sometimes, whenever Gabriel looked at him, he would always be reminded of what he once had, of what their family once was. A brother that cared so much he would give up everything to keep his family safe, a family that loved and protected its' own without reasons.
He did not mean to get attached, but at the time he was afraid Alec would turn into a second Michael. What if there would be a second generation, the second version of his family with an older who would always follow the rules, a younger brother who would betray, and a younger sibling who would hide away?
Alec was a beautiful soul, nonetheless. He cared so much, so much so that Gabriel just wanted to shove all of his magic-jumbo into the Lightwood being so that he could understand him a little better. To understand how, after all of the reckless and hurtful things his family had done and said, not once, once did Alec felt the need to abandon them. He has also felt the need to strangle said family, seriously. Alec, even with all the rules he sometimes spouted out, was a precious Nephilim of Gabriel (that's right, he claimed him). He also would like to have talked with Raziel again someday, just to have another someone simply being there for the Nephilim. He was also like to see the look on everyone's face when they knew who Alec guardian angel was, he was a trickster after all and messing with mortals, humans (and sometimes Nephilim) had always been his favorite hobby.
Granting, Michael had never had any feeling for Lucifer other than brotherly love, so that was something different. However, Gabriel was positive that, because Alec had never had any close contact with other than his family member, Jace was the only person who was closest to him to have a crush on. With that theory, Gabriel brought Alec out into bars whenever he could. He kidnapped the Nephilim to bars, to places that were not much crowded, but still had enough people to interact. So far, the result had been great. Alec had become more relaxed, still paranoid (but then, it was an occupational hazard, with him being a Shadowhunter and all), but more open with his sexuality. And if somewhere along the way, his dear Nephilim turned out to be a completely seductive monster, but was too dense to notice his effect on other people, leaving broken hearts behind, well, Gabriel was all too proudly to take all the responsibilities.
