Gerard sat alone in his room, as he often did. He had no reason to leave, he no longer had that driving force that made him leave his safe haven. That driving force, was his best friend and his boyfriend. Everyday he would wake up to a call at exactly ten thirty on the dot, from his bestfriend and they would talk, sometimes for only a few minutes or sometimes for hours and hours on end, they often talked about things Gerard's psychologist said were 'depressing' or 'not very cheerful' but Frank liked to talk about them so thats what they did.
Suicide often came up in their discussions, they often wondered aloud to eachother how it would feel to die of self inflicted injuries. Frank seemed very keen to further discuss the topic and often described in great detail, the many ways he would like to die. Looking back on these conversations and the way his boyfriend had tried suicide many times, one time he attempted it while Gerard was in the next room.
Still to this day Gerard can recall the image of Frank, with slashed up wrists wandering out of his bathroom to say 'goodbye' to him. Gerard knew this wasn't normal behaviour for anyone...especially Frank who, backthen just joked about killing himself, or so Gerard thought. The next few hours were horrible. Gerard remembers Frank refusing to let him bandage his wrists up, Frank ended up losing alot of blood, pased out and earned himself a hospital trip. All in the space of about two and a half hours, without any help from his parents, who had left him alone for two months while they went to LA to visit their friends.
Gerard constantly asks himself why didn't he tell? that was obviously a plea for help from his beloved boyfriend, but he did nothing he just kept it a secret. If he had of told, Frank would still be here but,he wouldbe happier. They had so many plans, number one on their list was to get married, they acted like two pre teens when they were sixteen, constantly bringing up the question of 'who would wear the dress?' and Frank giggling like crazy when he pointed out Gerard had longer hair making him the girl. They had a whole wedding plan made out which Gerard had framed on the wall. It consisted of Frank's attempt at drawing him in a dress, with the words 'you in a dress' written under it. Since the funeral it had become Gerard's most prized posssesion.
Gerard sat alone in his room, only he wasn't alone in his own mind. He had his pills on the nightstand, screaming at him to take just one. He also had a rope, a note and his dearly beloved Frank. He wished he had of stoppedtaking the pills sooner, because the presence of Frank made him feel amazing. Frank was telling him how quick and easy dying was and how his last thought was of Gerard in a dress.
Gerard was getting ready, he was going to leave his room forever. He changed his clothes and washed up, he had to look good for his reunion with Frank. He picked up the rope on his bed, tied one end to a bar on the ceiling and made a simplified hangmans knot on the other. He placed the note which read "Don't worry I'm with Frankie xx" in his jeans pocket. He climbed on to the high footboard of his bed and placed the rope around his neck. He took one last look around his room and decided he was ready. "I'm coming Frankie, together we'll never be alone again" he whispers and then he jumps, his last thought being of Frank the boy he loved so dearly.
