Second Chance
WARNING: MAJOR SPOILERS FOR NO. 6. PICKS UP DIRECTLY WHERE THE ANIME ENDS. Story uses a mix of facts from the book and the anime.
It had been a silent agreement, up there on the hill. No words had been needed, Rat had known when he saw the wall had gone down, that Shion would want to see his mother. And Shion...well... He smiled a little to himself. The bastard had attempted to ask him to come with him, because he was afraid. Of course there was no way he'd do that. Even if he'd wanted so see this 'Karan' – which he didn't – Shion needed to stand on his own on this one.
So Rat had kissed him to reassure him, to tell him that everything was fine, that they weren't enemies, and gone back to his den – to his books. It had been an overwhelming day and he hadn't recovered yet. He was healed, sure, but the shock from nearly dying himself – and having Shion die in front of his eyes – was very difficult to digest. Even watching him go had been difficult, so Rat had beat him to it and left first.
He'd be back, Rat knew. Shion had confessed that he was terrified of losing him, and would stay with him even if it killed him – which it had, in a sense. If he was to be honest, Rat was grateful. Shion was his weakness...his baggage. And even knowing that, he knew there was no way for him to be without him anymore. As much as he didn't want to, as much as he hated himself for it – he knew why. Love. It was such a simple answer, and one so devastating even he was powerless.
Inukashi had been right – he was the loser for having something to protect. But...he also had the feeling that he was only still alive because of this simple fact as well. Safu had no reason to save him, in fact she should resent him for taking Shion away from her – his appearance in Shion's life had turned everything on its head. And still...she'd healed him. When he was at the end of his line and had, knowingly, just laid down to die, she'd healed him and he'd lived. For Shion. Because Shion...even though he had scoffed at him...truly did love him.
He knew that, too, now. He just wondered if Shion did. Why did it matter? It mattered because it meant Shion would return to him. He could just wait, Shion would come.
Rat smiled sadly to himself as he unlocked the door to the den, and pushed it open. Everything was just as he'd left it that day, when he and Shion had gone down to buy food. Thinking of it now, he was very hungry, but there was no food here. The problem was – neither was there down at the market. It had been smashed up, all the makeshift stands flattened to the ground during the Hunt. The only thing left were most of the real houses, the remainders of what had once been a city, they usually left those. So the only way to find food now was to steal it, or to head down and sift garbage. He didn't feel like doing any of those right now, he just wanted sleep.
Just as he was about to lock the door though, a call was heard.
"Rat!" Inukashi. Rat grit his teeth, and swung the door open.
"What do you want?" he said coldly, and Inukashi glared at him from the top of the stairs. He could see the emotions going over his face, as Inukashi had never been good at hiding his feelings. Shock, relief, worry, anger.
"One of my dogs saw you get up the hill, I thought he was seeing things," Inukashi half-growled, and stalked up to him. "I didn't think you'd survive that. You should have bled to death by now, why are you even able to stand up? What the hell are you?" Rat looked on his hand, the blood there had dried now.
"Elyurias," he said quietly, and Inukashi went 'ha?' on him. "It's a goddess you dimwit," Rat scowled, and Inukashi stared at him as if he'd lost his marbles.
"Goddess?" he said faintly. "Are you trying to tell me that a goddess popped up in the garbage plant, and graciously decided to save your pitiful life?" he said in a snide, dry tone. "You really have to come up with something better, Rat. That's the stupidest thing I've heard in my life-" his words cut off as Rat pulled his shirt off, and Inukashi backed a few steps. "W-what the HELL are you-"
"Do you have any better explanation, Inukashi?" Rat glared at him. There were not a trace of his previous wounds. Not a single trace. It was as if he'd never been injured at all. Inukashi stared, pressed back against the wall opposite of the door and blushed furiously.
"Okay! Okay! I get it! Put some friggin' clothes on!" Rat shrugged, and tossed his bloody shirt over a chair. He did not attempt to do what Inukashi said though, but sunk down on the sofa. He had to take a shower anyway, he was still covered in blood. Inukashi hovered in the doorway, not wanting to stare but unable to look away. Rat was very, very attractive. There were no two ways about it, and the bastard knew, too.
"What's the most amazing thing isn't me though," Rat said, absently touching the spot on his belly where he'd been shot. The blood hadn't dried completely yet, it wet his fingers as a reminder of how close he'd been to death's door. Inukashi's eyes narrowed.
"...you mean...Shion...?"Inukashi breathed, not even daring to hope.
"Yeah," Rat smiled softly, something Inukashi had never seen him do. "She brought him back." The silence was so thick you could have sliced it with a knife, and then Inukashi's sobbing broke the moment. He sunk down on his haunches and cried. Rat could have easily exploited the weakness, but he didn't. He sat on the sofa watching the ceiling, while Inukashi cried his heart out in relief.
"If you're making this up I'm going to fucking kill you, Rat," Inukashi finally spat, his voice thick. Rat shook his head, staring at the many bookshelves Shion had sorted out for him.
"You should know there are things I don't lie about, Inukashi," Rat said, his face grim. He means more to me than he ever could to you – why would I? "He's seeing his mother, he'll be back." A strange sound – like a car trying to get over the rocks – was heard outside, and put both Inukashi and Rat on their guard. Rat was up before Inukashi even saw him move, and had whipped his knife out in an instant. His eyes narrowed.
"Raaat!"
The familiar voice, so very dear and so very annoying.
"Shion!" Inukashi beat him to it, and bolted up the stairs to meet Shion – and to pummel him over the head with his fists. It was a good thing Inukashi was just a child – if he'd had the same strength as Rat or Shion, he might have actually injured him.
"Ow! Ow! Stop it, Inukashi, that hurts!" Shion tried to fend himself from the blows raining over him, but they didn't stop until Rat pinned Inukashi's arms to the sides. He then settled for hissing, spitting and trying to kick Shion.
"Don't you fucking do that again, Shion!" Inukashi yelled, absolutely furious – and still crying. "If you fucking die on Rat again, I'll feed your goddamn body to the dogs!" Shion froze and looked at Rat, who was carefully avoided to meet his eyes. Die? What was... "SHION!" Inukashi growled, outraged.
"...no..."Shion touched Inukashi's shoulder and he stilled with a startled look on his face. Then Shion gently brushed him away, and Rat released him without protests, until he and Shion were face to face. Inukashi stood beside them, feeling very awkward to see the pair being so intimate. Especially considering Rat wasn't wearing anything from waist up.
"Welcome back," Rat said with a casual grin that didn't reach his eyes. Nothing ever reached his eyes. "I hope you brought food." Shion glanced back at the little solar driven park cart he'd driven here in, which had been packed with some things for them, and then back at Rat.
"Then it was no dream," he said quietly. "I did...die, didn't I? And Safu...Elyurias..."he said slowly, and after a moment's pause, Rat nodded. He looked so very tired. Shion eyed the blood, remembering the severe wounds that had been there.
"Yeah..."Shion swallowed, tears welling up in his eyes.
"I-I'm sorry, Rat, I," he started, but stopped as Rat's hand gently brushed over his cheek.
"You're alive now. That's all that matters." He brushed past Shion, and started picking up the things from the cart, and Shion looked at his hand. He remembered that time when Rat had placed his hand on his own chest, to feel his heart beat. He didn't have the luxury of dwelling on the past – to live here and now was much more important.
"Yeah...I'm alive now," he smiled, and wiped his tears. Inukashi was still there, glowering. Rat tossed him an apple, and he caught it without thinking, and then proceeded to stare at it as if he didn't know what to do with it.
"Thanks for worrying," Rat said, making Inukashi blush furiously. "Go home, Inukashi."
"Who the hell said I was worried?" Inukashi yelled, and ran off with a furious and confused expression on his face – taking the apple with him. Shion laughed, and even Rat smiled as he looked after him.
"He was very worried," Shion observed and Rat agreed. He went over to help Rat carry the things from the cart, and then drove it around and parked it where it was free from sight. It could still be stolen, but only if you knowingly went here to look for it – and not even Inukashi was dumb enough to go to the Rat's den without invitation. No one did.
As he got back inside, Rat had cleaned off and pulled on a t-shirt, and sat on the floor sifting through the things he'd brought with him. It was mostly food, for which Rat was very grateful. It was also things that they had been missing, that was hard to come by here or very expensive – like phosphor matches and butter.
"I didn't think you'd return so quickly," Rat said, as he gathered the groceries and tried to find space for them. It was a lot more than he'd ever had home, so the single shelf where he kept seasoning and precious leftovers was hardly enough.
"I didn't actually go into No. 6," Shion said, and picked out a slip of paper from his pocket. "It's to you, from mom. I met her where the gate had been brought down, there were a lot of people. She'd run there to meet me." He smiled, thinking back. He'd been so happy to see her. And she'd sat down, heard the story and he'd told her all about Rat. About their lives here, about how much he loved him. And hearing it...his mother had done what she could. She'd disappeared, and come back with all these things for him, and the promise that she'd help them, in any way she could. He watched Rat read the letter quietly, his face betraying no emotion, before he folded it and dropped it on the piano. It had been a thank you-letter. "Also..."he caught Rat's eyes, and he looked back unfazed. "Way back, you told me to choose."
"Between No. 6 and me," Rat nodded and fetched a paper bag still left on the floor. His memory was excellent – but it was also a fact that he only remembered things of significance.
"Yes. And I made my choice." Shion stood there, looking at him. He watched Rat's fine profile, saw him peek into the paper bag and then drop it on the table.
"Are you going to tell me you chose me?" he said casually, sounding slightly annoyed. "Can you really make such a choice?"
"I can," Shion pressed, meaning it. When he'd been sitting there by the wall, talking to his mother he'd realised that the choice was simple. "My mother will always be there. As long as she's alive and happy, that's fine. But I belong here, with you. You are the one thing I can't cast aside."
Rat looked at him, really looked at him with his emotionless grey eyes for a long time before he said anything. He wasn't fidgeting, he wasn't nervous. He stood there still as a statue, just looking at him.
"Kiss me," he finally said, startling Shion.
"Huh?" he blinked several times in confusion, but Rat seemed serious.
"Kiss me. With all the conviction behind those words, kiss me so I'll know if you truly know what the hell you are saying. Make me believe you." Shion stood stunned for a few seconds, then he set his face. All right. It was a challenge, and it was on. Rat didn't believe he'd do it, but he had to show him – Rat was right, he had to make him believe. No petty words would do or Rat would just scoff at him and walk away. If he backed down now then it would be the same as just trying to sugar coat his words.
Casting aside all cautiousness, he bounded straight for Rat, who actually looked surprised as he moved in for the kill, and struck him down with the weight of his body. He hit the floor with a huff, and Shion straddled him, grabbed his collar – and kissed the living daylights out of him. It started forcefully, desperately, a clumsy kiss tongue and all...but as he stole Rat's breath, it deepened, and Rat started answering the kiss. His hands went up to Shion's hips where he sat hunched over him, and Shion dropped his collar with one hand to wind it around his head as they kept kissing. It lasted until Shion's head was pounding from lack of oxygen, and he pulled away, just enough for air. Rat actually looked a bit dazed, before his hand went up to Shion's hair, ruffling it slightly.
"You're a lousy kisser," he murmured, smiling slightly. "And knocking me over like that..."he snorted. "We could have knocked the bloody bookshelf over, but..."he managed to pull his other arm back, and propped himself up against his elbow as he let his hand slide down to Shion's face. "I believe you."
"Good," Shion said, blushing, as he couldn't come up with anything better to say. It seemed to satisfy Rat though, because he chuckled.
"Food, please? I'm starving," he said, changing the subject, and Shion jumped to his feet.
"Sorry. I ate a bit of bread on my way here, so I forgot..."he scrambled to turn the kerosene heater on, and start up some soup. In the meanwhile, Rat sat up with a small groan and pulled out the large book that had been digging into his back. Gulliver's travels. It felt somehow ironic considering how much it reminded him of Shion's rocky road from a spoiled prince in No. 6 to... His expression softened.
To his partner, here, in a basement room in the West Block. The difference was, perhaps, that Shion hadn't gone mad like Lemuel had even though there had been doubts along the way. Because that's how it would be, now, would it? He could no longer say that Shion could not defend himself. That he had no sense of danger, because that would no longer be true. Think what you wanted about Rat, but he was one thing – painfully realistic. No illusions, and silence rather than lies.
He got up, and tossed the book on the closest heap, and sunk down on the sofa as he watched Shion make the soup. The smell of food made his insides twist, but he was patient. Considering what he'd found among the things Shion had brought back, this meal was something to look forward to.
Also... He stared intently at the paper bag. There was cherry cake. Cherry cake had meant something to Shion even before they met, but after having it that night they first met, he too had a special relationship with it. Getting up, he slid past Shion and broke off a piece of bread, and threw it to the mice. They quickly sped across the floor for it, and chirped happily saying thank you. It was only then he realised that Shion was being quiet.
In all the time since he'd come here, Shion had always filled every silent moment with his voice. Either he talked to the mice, read aloud to himself or talked to Rat – much to his annoyance, but now he was being quiet.
"What?" Shion finally said, as he realised he was being stared at.
"You're being unusually quiet," Rat observed, sinking back on the sofa. "By this time you'd usually talk my ears off. You're not going to tell me about the meeting with your mom?"
"What? You suddenly want me to?" Shion stirred the soup, and Rat gave him an offended look.
"Of course not," he muttered. "You'd just give me a headache."
"Well, walking out there thinking about you I think I figured out why you dislike me talking so much," Shion said calmly, and plunged a spoon into the soup to check the seasoning. Rat waited and Shion shrugged. "It's just words. No words will ever do any good unless they have a solid reasoning. Words that don't hold weight are not important. To just talk for talking and avoid actually saying anything useful is useless. Also..."he handed Rat a bowl of the warm soup. "If what you say and what you do are different things, I'd rather go by what you do." He sunk down on the sofa beside Rat, who chuckled.
"You've really come a long way then," he said, sounding quite amused. "But... It's all right. Talk if you want to. Just don't interrogate me, that's very annoying," he chuckled, and dipped his spoon into the soup. Shion knew the feeling of being hungry. Starved, even. It's what they always were, ever since he got here he'd never had enough to eat and just coming by food was a struggle. You couldn't just head down to the market – even that was dangerous – and once you were there, finding food that wasn't rotten wasn't easy. They had to get by, and they very seldom had any food with a lot of nutrition.
Even so, Rat didn't gulp down his food, although Shion knew he was very hungry. He also didn't say anything until their bowls were clean, and Shion picked out the slices of cherry cake from the bag.
"I knew," Rat suddenly said, as he picked the larger of the slices, and bit down on it. Shion blinked.
"Knew what?" he asked, picking his own piece of cake.
"That you love me," Rat said calmly, without looking at Shion. Shion looked at him for a long while, before he said anything.
"...I suppose you would," he said quietly, suppressing the question 'how'. It wasn't important – also, Rat's observation ability was something else entirely. Of course he'd know. "You never miss anything."
"That's not true," Rat said silently, frowning. "I'm only human, of course I miss things." Shion couldn't help but smile, something that seemed to annoy him. "Tch."
"Satisfied?" Shion made a gesture toward the table, and Rat nodded, smiling again.
"Yeah, it was good." He got to his feet, and tumbled over on the bed, which gave way a squeaking noise as the springs protested under his weight. Shion watched him for a little while, and soon the quiet flipping of the pages of a book was heard. He smiled fondly, it was so typical of Rat. He'd always read, in every moment of silence, he'd pick up a book.
Light fingertips brushing over his hair made Rat glanced up from his book. Shion stood leaning slightly over him, blocking part of the light. The soft fingers trailed through his hair, softly toying with the loose hair, and he smiled, turning back to the book. It was nice. It didn't feel dangerous, and this was Shion. The fingers trailed up his skull, filling him with a warm, content kind of pleasure, and as Shion's fingers pried the knot in his hair open he closed his eyes, resting a finger in the half-closed book he'd been reading. Shion seemed to revel in his free hair, his hands tracing Rat's skull with tenderness. Rat suppressed a sigh, and opened his eyes slightly as Shion temporarily stopped. He barely had time to register a damp, warm breath whisking over his ear, before something hot and wet touched his earlobe, and teeth gently brushed against it. The sensation sent goose bumps all along his spine, and the sudden pleasure went straight for his crotch. It was so sudden, so unexpected, that Rat let out a yelp and bounded out of reach in the nick of a second. Before he knew what he was doing, he sat pressed to the wall with a racing heart, and staring at Shion with cold sweat breaking out all over. Shion looked very, very surprised.
"Rat...?"he said slowly with a worried look on his face, obviously wondering if he'd made a big mistake. Rat sunk down on the bed with a hand over his heart. "What...?"
"You-," Rat started, then had to swallow to try to regain his calm. "...warn...warn me first next time, will you? Are you trying to give me a heart attack? Geez..." Shion blinked.
"So...it's okay...?"he said, puzzled. Rat drew a deep breath, and wiped the sweat from his forehead with his shirt.
"Yeah, sure," he said, clearing his throat in a vain try to smooth over his initial reaction. He lifted his chin slightly in an invitation, though inside his heart was hammering. It wasn't as if he'd never been touched intimately before. He had, and sex too. But never with anyone he cared about, it had always just been that. Sex, and exclusively in exchange for something.
"Are you sure?" Shion asked tentatively, as he crawled up on the bed and closed in on Rat, who swallowed. He didn't move, still held his head a bit high, slightly tilted.
"Yes, it's all right," he closed his eyes, the fear growing stronger. The whole pose was vulnerable. He was much more comfortable in a situation where he was the one in control. But... If he scared Shion off now...there wouldn't be a second time, and even though he was scared he didn't want to burn those bridges. "You just startled me."
"If you say so..."Shion murmured, and Rat tensed up as he put his hand on his shoulder, and gently placed a kiss on his throat. There was hardly any pressure at all as Shion's lips traced their way back up to Rat's ear, and he once more found his earlobe licked. Rat shuddered, frightened at just how much his body responded to the touch, and it didn't stop there. Shion's hand pawed at his chest, obviously not thinking about it, and he nibbled at Rat's ear. Just slightly, but it set tingles through Rat's entire body, and he swallowed again. He was desperately trying not to get aroused, but it was a hopeless battle.
As he unconsciously pressed more and more flat against the wall, Shion had to come closer to reach, and it was only a matter of time before Shion's thigh pressed between his legs, and Rat let a groan slip from his lips. Shion pulled back at the sound, and looked down. There was no way he could not feel the hardness there, but Rat wasn't about to guide him. He'd kept pressing that Shion had to find things out on his own, and he was definitely not about to start telling him what to do now. Not when every single one of his warning bells were ringing, and he was sweaty and turned on. Hardly.
To his bafflement, Shion gave him another look.
"Still okay?" he asked, and Rat nodded mutely. Of course it wasn't. But... If Shion was going to do what he thought he was thinking of doing, then it it would be okay soon. Apparently, Shion had in mind exactly what he guessed he had, because Shion started unbuttoning his pants. Well, the few buttons still left, along with the belt that still held them clinging to his hips. He swallowed, still pressed to the wall as Shion pulled down the zipper, and without any fear dipped his hand inside. As his warm hand closed around Rat's half-erect member through the fabric in his underwear, Rat closed his eyes, trembling. He slumped, sliding down so he was sitting on his knees, his back against the wall. Shion was a bit surprised at the movement and lost his hold, but he quickly got back on track. Rat suppressed another sigh, as he realised Shion probably had no idea what to do next, because he was neither wanking him nor attempting to get inside his underwear. At the moment, he seemed to be more or less running his hand along the length of him, feeling him up. It was annoying, but it also turned him on even more, and it hardened further. Then, he choked back a small gasp as Shion's hand slid down to touch his testicles, and he rubbed his fingers over them until Rat nearly tossed his pride overboard and begged him to actually do something.
It was so, so annoying but what could he do? He could just sit there, sweat, tremble and endure this sweet, pleasurable torture until Shion maybe – just maybe – decided to actually let him come. He glanced down, and saw Shion sit there with a tender expression on his face, which suited really badly with what he was doing.
"A-are you planning to pet me all night, or what?" he managed, his voice throaty and far from steady. Shion started slightly, and blushed heavily.
"...I don't think I had any plan, really," Shion said, and pulled at the elastics in Rat's underwear, and dipped his hand inside to grip him firmly. Rat couldn't help it, he gasped. Also, Shion's grip was firm, and he started moving. Slowly at first, then faster. The rhythm was a bit off, but Rat wasn't picky. Shion was giving him what he wanted, and the fact that it was Shion doing it did more for him than what he was doing, even if it scared the shit out of him.
When he came, it was silently. Sweat ran down his face and back, and Rat leaned his head back against the wall, his arms dropped to his sides as he panted. He closed his eyes, his nerves tingling pleasantly and every muscle in his body relaxing. After this exhausting day, all the blood he'd lost, the shock and everything – and then this on top of it, he wasn't very surprised that he was feeling very dizzy.
Shion slid up beside him, silently, and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.
"Good?" Shion whispered softly. Rat chuckled slightly, yeah, it had been, somehow.
"Yeah...thanks..."then he let himself slide along the wall and fall on his face in the mattress. "So...tired..."
He could hear Shion sigh, and heard him go wash his hand, before he got back and tugged off his boots and trousers. It felt good to be a bit pampered, even if he generally preferred taking care of himself. Shion then proceeded to get him into his slackers, and draped him in a blanket. Rat let him.
"I could get used to taking care of you," he heard Shion chuckle, and Rat cracked one eye open to look at him as Shion changed to his sleeping wear.
"I wouldn't if I were you," he said. "It's not going to happen often."
"A shame," Shion said, sounding amused. What's he so happy about? Rat thought, frowning. Shion then turned the wicker down as low as possible on the lamp, just before it snuffed out, and climbed into bed. The dying flame from the lamp cast shadows on the walls as he curled up next to Rat, draping his arm around him.
"I'm happy I could do that for you," Shion murmured, unknowingly sending uncomfortable goose bumps across Rat's skin. So that's why he was looking so happy. Rat rolled his eyes, and settled with his cheek against Shion's head. He supposed that he could somehow relate to it...although he himself usually found more pleasure in being in charge than the orgasm in itself.
But even without all that, coming was nice and he'd only done it to himself in the shower the past year or so. Maybe if he hadn't been so frightened it would have been better, too. He probably would never have even given Shion the chance like this had it not been for what had happened today. Their time together was too precious for his fears.
Pushing those thoughts aside, he closed his eyes and drifted into sleep as the wicker snuffed out and darkness fell, happy that fate had granted them time. They would see summer together. They'd been granted a second chance.
