Author's Note:
Gah, I just love Bleach. I don't understand why some people dislike this awesome manga.
Disclaimer:
I would be the happiest person alive if I were to be its owner.
Round 1: The Beginning
"Wow, Kubo's mansion is damn huge!" Renji whispered as he, Rukia and Ichigo entered their creator, Kubo Tite's settlement.
"That's why it's called a mansion," Ichigo rolled his eyes. Sometimes he was annoyed how his shinigami companions always got excited about random things in human world. Ichigo took a glance at his watch; it was nearly 8 pm.
The mansion was incredibly enormous, it's like one hundred times bigger than an ordinary one. Even Ichigo had just realized about that. The ceiling was up high, meters away from their heads. Maroon bricks coated the mansion walls while yellow antique lanterns decorated the walls. Between the two stairs located a gigantic picture of Kubo Tite, covered with spider webs. Overall, it looked like a haunted house from some horror movies.
Rukia examined the invitation letter that was sent to her. "You are invited to Kubo Tite's Birthday Party," she reread the letter, "Please come to Kubo Mansion in Kubo Hall on Friday, 26th June 2011 at 8 pm. Wear your casual clothes. Your presence is very much awaited." She exchanged look with Renji and Ichigo. "We need to find Kubo Hall."
Three of them continued their journey in the crazily designed mansion, with Renji and Rukia leading. There were too many rooms that they even got lost in it. After almost two hours of searching the right room, they eventually ended up stopping in front of a large door.
"Oi, Rukia, Renji, what're you guys waiting for? Let's get in!" Ichigo prompted them, only to find out that Renji and Rukia were too captivated by the beautifully carved wooden door that it caused them to stare at the door before coming in.
"Seriously guys!" Ichigo pushed both of them into the hall.
"Welcome, you three," Kubo greeted, speaking to them through the super large sized TV screen which was located at the hall wall. "You are the last ones to arrive. As a punishment, I won't give you any free Bleach comics."
Ichigo looked around his surroundings. Much to his surprise, everyone was here! The Arrancars, Vizards and even his friends and family were attending this party!
"Alright, since everyone is here, let me introduce myself," Kubo began. "I am-"
"Yeah we know who you are. Just get to the point already," Shinji poked his nose, not eager to listen to Kubo's introduction.
Kubo shot him a glare, but then continued, "Fine. Tonight, I have prepared games for you. It's not just a normal game, it's somewhat a race," he cleared his throat. "Don't worry, you will get a prize for winning."
"What's the price, Kubby-kun?" Yachiru snapped. Yumichika chuckled when he heard the nickname. She obviously hadn't gotten rid of her calling habits , had she?
But Kubo wasn't flustered by the statement nor paid any attention about it and still managed to stay calm. "Something special. Something…. Beyond your imagination."
Kubo's last sentence garnered everybody's attention. The prize must have been priceless.
"Oi, Kubo, come out now! Why do you only appear in the TV screen?" Ikkaku shouted at Kubo.
"Cause I'm awesome," Kubo answered nonchalantly while sipping a watermelon juice. Everyone just rolled their eyes.
Nanao raised her hand. "Everybody has to participate?" she asked.
"Affirmative," Kubo nodded. Nanao who intended not to take part, suddenly felt disappointed. Yes, she did hear that the prize was great, but she knew she didn't stand a chance.
Isane who was standing next to Nanao, patted her shoulder gently. "Don't think about losing. You're going to make it!" She comforted Nanao, as if she knew what was going on Nanao's head. Nanao smiled, her body was now charged with positive electrons after hearing Isane's useful advice.
"It's okay, Nanao-chan. You can use my shoulder to cry on-" Shunsui took this opportunity to hug his vice-captain, only to ended up getting a big slap from her.
Kubo then took out a remote control from his pocket and pressed a red button, which opened up the floor everyone was standing on, thus making them fall into an underground room.
Everything was pitch black. Ichigo tried his best to see his surroundings but to no avail. After several seconds, the lamps were switched on, enabling everyone to witness things before them.
Much to everyone's surprise, they now were located at the Bikini Bottom! That's the hometown of our super famous cartoon character, Spongebob Squarepants!
Just how the hell does this crazy man get a place like this? Ichigo thought, his head was full with unanswered questions. He looked around, trying to find Rukia and Renji but failed to do so. He's completely separated from them.
"You're going to face lots of challenges tonight, so get ready. The first round is pretty easy, all you need to do is to win a race. You have to find the place where the race ends. People who arrive at the finishing line within 10 minutes are through to the next round, while those who fail are going to be eliminated from the game…. And punished," Kubo explained his rules. People were taken aback the fact that there was a punishment for the failures and cursed him, throwing things at the TV screen. Kubo only replied by smirking - they were in his world. He was the owner of Bleach universe, so no one could anything to him. He was the one who would be doing all the trolling.
Grimmjow was all fired up. "I ain't gonna lose to anybody!"
"I will be monitoring you all from my super cool LCD 4D TV, so don't even think to cheat," Kubo warned. Everyone gave him the 'you-are-such-a-show-off' look when he mentioned the words 'super cool'. "
"Are you ready?" Kubo yelled, trying to excite them all, although not even one person responded to him. "Three, two, one, GO!"
Everyone ran as fast as they could.
"Damn, Kubo didn't even give us the map!" Ichigo mumbled to himself. "I need to ask the citizens here."
He then saw a restaurant which had a name 'Krusty Krab' on it, so he decided to ask for directions. He bumped into Patrick who was just about to go out of the restaurant.
"Hey, pink creature," Ichigo said in jiffy. "You know where's the finishing line?"
"Uh… fishing line?" Patrick asked him back, he was totally clueless.
"No, finishing line."
"Telephone line?"
"No, finishing line, FINISHING LINE!"
"… fish what?"
Ichigo sighed, massaging his temples. What an idiot starfish.
"Listen, I need to go to a place where there is a banner which the word 'Finishing Line' was written on it,"
The orange-haired shinigami tried to explain carefully.
Unfortunately, Patrick fell asleep in the middle of Ichigo's brief explanation and woke up after he finished talking. "Uh uh uh! What did you say?" Patrick questioned while rubbing off his saliva.
"Oh damn it!" Ichigo left Patrick due to frustration as Patrick started to fall asleep again.
Ichigo watched the whole city from above someone's roof. Where's the finishing line….
"What are you doing on my roof?" Someone scolded the rookie substitute shinigami. Ichigo looked down to see who it was. Apparently, it was Squidward!
Ichigo thought that this might be a good chance for him to ask about his destination. But as he was jumping off Squidward's house, the sword that he was bringing all time on his back slowly cut off the squid's house into two. This obviously enraged Squidward. To make things worse, Ichigo accidentally landed on Squidward's pots of flowers!
Ichigo reached the red-fired Squidward. "Hey, where's the finish-"
"GET OUT OF HERE!" Squidward didn't even let Ichigo finish his sentence, walked in to his house and shut the door hard, only to make the whole house broke into pieces. Squidward screamed in desperation.
"Wow, this guy has a bad temper," Ichigo commented while not knowing he was the cause of Squidward's madness. He then went off to find another normal citizen.
"Oh, Yoruichi's already arrive at the finishing line!" Kubo announced, although Ichigo didn't have an idea where the hell did Kubo's voice come from. "As expected from a shunpo expert!"
Ichigo was startled. Damn, someone has arrived there already?
"Urahara, Gin, Aizen, Yamamoto and Shinji have also arrived!" Kubo continued, "and Byakuya too! Come on you other participants! You have 5 minutes left!"
I've got to hurry, Ichigo thought deeply. He knew Kubo was a dangerous man. When he gave a punishment to his characters, he's not kidding. He really gave them a real one, usually involving humiliations. You readers have to believe Ichigo, he's been there already.
As he was running, he then stumbled upon a citizen. The citizen was so tiny that Ichigo could even barely see it.
"Ouch!" Plankton shouted. Then he jumped onto Ichigo's shoulder. "It hurts! Don't you see me down there?"
Ichigo looked at the green, one eyed creature. "Uh, duh, obviously not."
"Oh hey, do you know where's the finishing line?" Ichigo immediately asked, hoping that this citizen could help him.
Plankton looked at him and suddenly had an evil idea. I'll use him to steal the secret formula!
"Why, yes, I know where it is," Plankton answered, though he didn't even know what the finishing line was. His statement gave Ichigo a ray of hope. Good thing his house was near to where him and Ichigo met. "Come in to Chumbucket, my house, I'll show you the direction but you must do something."
Ichigo nodded in agreement, not realizing that he was fooled. Plankton then explained that Ichigo needed to go to Krusty Krab and go into Mr. Krab's office and get the secret formula.
"….. So, you're saying that I have to go to the restaurant over there, the Krusty Krab which I've just recently gone there, meet the boss Mr. Krabs, take the secret formula from him and give it to you first, then you tell me the route to my destination?" Ichigo repeated Plankton's instruction. Plankton nodded, he was impressed by Ichigo's intelligence.
Ichigo then stepped on the tiny animal. "You think I'm stupid? You only want that secret formula don't you?"
"I heard you, Plankton! You ain't getting' my secret formula!" Mr. Krabs appeared from nowhere and beat the crap out of Plankton.
"Ooh, Kon has arrived!" Kubo's voice appeared again. And he kept uttering the names that passed the race. What the hell, even Kon managed to get there?
Ichigo sighed and walked away from the Chumbucket and went in again the Krusty Krab.
"Good morning, sir! How can I help you?" Spongebob greeted him with his cheeky smile.
"You know where's the finishing line- ugh, never mind. Just forget about that. It's not like you know that place anyway," Ichigo sounded as if he was losing hope.
Holding his spatula, Spongbob pointed at the backside of the Krusty Krab restaurant. "You mean, a banner with the words 'Finishing Line' on it? It's right at the back of this restaurant!"
WHAT? Ichigo had been here and he didn't notice about that?
"Thanks man," Ichigo was all fired up again, ready to storm off to the place. "You're a nice guy."
Spongebob was surprised. No one had really told him that he was a nice man. He then replied with his eyes sparkling. "Aye, aye, sir!"
"40 seconds left!" Kubo started his countdown.
Ichigo ran as fast as he could. He had to arrive before the time ended!
"10, 9, 8….." Kubo's voice made Ichigo sweated like crazy. "7, 6, 5…."
His heart was racing, drumming endlessly as Kubo counted the numbers. "4, 3…."
AND YES! Ichigo finally passed the finishing line!
"2….1. We're done," Kubo said, but now with a boring tone. "Huh, Ichigo did really pass, eh. What a typical heroic moment. Just why does this happen in every story? Why can't the hero just lose?"
Kubo was totally losing his cool. Everyone just thought that he was crazy.
"Alright, 47 people are through to the next round," Kubo talked. Ichigo hoped that his friends could make it. "For the failures, this is the end of all of you." And all the losers were sent to another place. Ichigo could hear Yuzu's scream and Karin telling her to shut up, rising anxiety in him.
"You…. What did you to my sisters?" Ichigo shouted angrily, he felt like kicking his creator's butt.
Kubo cleared his throat. "You be quiet. If you want to stay and win, you better keep your mouth shut."
Damn it, Ichigo thought. Now he had a goal – he needed to WIN THIS WHOLE GAME. He had to save his sisters!
