Authors Note: I think it goes without saying, but I do not own The Avengers; I only wish I did! Please review if you feel like it. This is done purely for entertainment :)

The Avenger's really couldn't catch a break, thought Tony as he activated the bracelets on his wrists to call his suit to him. They couldn't even go out for brunch without some psycho witch trying to turn the hostess into a pop tart.

Across from him Natasha and Clint peer over the buffet table. Both of them had pulled guns from god knows where. Whatever she sees causes Natasha to swear long and hard in Russian. Besides Tony, Bruce is repeating mantras to himself trying not to hulk out. That's the last thing any of them need at this point.

Thor is in New Mexico somewhere so that means the only member not currently cowering in fear of a woman wearing hoop earrings and waving crystals is the capsicle—who had headed off to the restroom right before this all started.

"Hey," says an all to familiar voice. "Lets all calm down here."

Tony closes his eyes. Well, that answered that question. He looks at his watch. The suit had turbo thrusters but it still had to get all the way across town. Give it…three minutes.

"Calm?" screeches the witch. "They chose this bitch to replace me!"

"You weren't giving proper respect to the goddess! How can you lead if you can't sit through the rituals?" yells another female voice. The hostess, Tony guesses. He couldn't remember what she sounded like, but man she'd smelled fantastic. Like sandalwood and incense come to think of it. He shakes his head. Should have been a major tip off.

"We're witches. We don't need to give fucking respect." Something explodes and they all hit the deck as plates whiz overhead and crash into the back wall. Bruce's voice rises a bit, the mantras gaining fervor.

"I'll teach you to respect authority!" yells the hostess.

"Whoa, wait!" yells Steve.

There's a bang and a flash of light so bright Tony's completely blind for nearly a minute. A minute in which Steve starts screaming, the sound getting higher and higher before tapering off into what sounds like sobbing.

Which can't be right. Steve Rogers, Mr. Tight Ass, himself doesn't cry. Not even a manly sniffle. And there's nothing manly about this sound.

It's at this point that Tony's suit decides to show up. It enfolds him and the second the faceplate snaps shut, Tony knocks the buffet table away and strides forward into chaos.

Patrons are huddled in various groups, broken crockery and spilled food everywhere. The hostess stand is nothing but charred wood. The original witch and the hostess witch are still standing, but appear to be in shock, staring down at a small blond head sticking out of a very large plaid shirt.

For a second Tony's sure that Steve's body is just gone. That all that's left is his head. Then the shirt moves, the head lifts. It's not Steve, Tony thinks, with the part of him that isn't gibbering in panic. It can't be. This being is much too tiny, much too little to be the pain in his ass captain.

But as the hostess starts wailing apologies and picking bits of food out of the small beings hair, Tony realizes it is Steve. Just a baby version of Steve. He can't be more than six or seven years old, skinny as a horse on it's way to the knackers, all blond hair and blue eyes. He stares up at the hostess in utter confusion and then over at Tony.

Instead of screaming like Tony is half expecting, Steve frowns. "What happened?" he asks.

Tony hesitates, unsure how to respond. The hostess responds for him.

"I'm so sorry!" she says. "I meant to turn Karen into a kid, not you!"

The witch, Karen, looks spooked. "Holy crap, Amy," she says. "Why would you do that?"

"You were destroying my restaurant! I was just trying to teach you a lesson." Amy turns back to Steve. "It's not permanent, I swear. It'll wear off in a couple of months."

"A couple of months?" Tony yells as Steve asks, "What will wear off?" He turns frightened eyes at Tony and Tony nearly melts. Admittedly the Avengers have a hard time dealing with Steve's puppy eyes when he's in adult form. As a kid it's devastating.

"Steve," he says carefully. "Do you know what year it is?"

This makes Steve frown. "Of course I do," he says. "I didn't hit my head, Stark." He looks down at himself, frown deepening. "Tony?" he asks after a second, voice tentative. "Did I shrink?"

"Sort of," he takes a couple of steps forward and sinks down so he's eye to eye with Steve. "You're a kid, Rogers. A really little kid." He glares up at Amy when Steve pales.

"Rogers?"

Steve's head jerks up at the sound of Natasha's stunned voice. Before Tony can grab him, Steve darts past and throws himself at Natasha. Surprised, she still catches him, swinging him up onto her hip, little head sandwiched under her chin.

Tony can see that Steve is shaking and it makes rage boil up on his insides. He turns back to Amy, straightening up and snapping down the faceplate for extra intimidation factor. "Alright," he says. "Explain now."

"Not here," says Bruce. His neck is showing signs of green and his eyes are burning as he stares at the girl. "We should keep this contained."

Tony's pretty sure it's too late for that. The patrons who didn't run are all watching them now, eyes wide and he's sure this will be all over the web before they take more than three steps. He nods anyway, grabs Amy and Karen's arms, and drags them out of the main area of the restaurant and back into one of the smaller dining rooms.

"Alright," Natasha demands once the door is closed. "What did you do to him?"

"It's a spell," says Amy. She looks miserable. "It turns whoever it hits into a child. There's no way to reverse it early. You'll just have to wait it out."

The only reason the girl lives past that last sentence is because Tony's pretty sure none of them quite buy it at first. It's not until the silence has stretched into something truly uncomfortable does it dawns on them that she's not joking. They really will have to wait.

"Two months?" says Steve. He sounds remarkably calm, eyes big as he looks at Amy. "Are you sure?"

She nods. "I tried it on my cat when I was seven," she says, apologetically. "It turned her back into a kitten for 60 days exactly."

"You did this to a cat?" says Clint. He still hasn't put away his gun and fingers the trigger like he's thinking of shooting someone just because.

"I wanted her to be a kitten again," Amy shrugs and Tony's had enough.

"Sooooo, their useless," he says to his team, ignoring the indignant 'heys' this produces, "Lets get Steve-o, here, back to the tower before the press descend. We can figure out what to do there."

There are nods all around. Bruce had the foresight to grab Steve's leather jacket, jeans, and boots on the way out of the dining room. The jacket is wrapped around Steve's shoulders; the jeans and boots shoved in Tony's briefcase (he was supposed to have a meeting after brunch but that's going to have to be rescheduled). Happy pulls the car around to the back and they leave.

But not until Natasha gives the two witches a warning that makes Tony very, very glad that he's got a suit of metal between him and Natasha's fists. So are two witches who will not be practicing magic of any sort of a very, very long time.