No matter how doomed your life may seem, there will always be certain things in the world, beautiful things that give you hope to keep fighting; the sunlight streaming through lush, green treetops, for example, or the light feeling you get in your stomach when you make someone smile. Some things in life should be admired no matter how dull, dreary, and depressing your life is. At least, that is what I decided as I sat by the window in my little, attic room admiring the landscape of rolling green hills outside and trying my best to capture the beauty in my drawing.
I never got tired of the view. After countless years of running and hiding, it was this view that made this house my home. My father had been a sort of liberal back in the city, and although he had never told his family what he had done, he was wanted for treason against the federal government. He had a newborn baby and a wife who couldn't support themselves, so he did the only thing he knew (and something that he would become extremely good at), he took his family and ran. They hid in various small apartments in the city, always with different aliases, until somewhere along the line they had another baby, me, Clary.
The first ten years of my life were spent tucked away in a room with only my mother and my older brother Jonathan while our father navigated the underground city in attempts of finding somewhere more permanent to hide. Finally, we moved out to the country to live in a small farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, owned by one of my mother's friends who lived in the city.
Here we had been safe for almost eight years, but I had always been isolated. My brother and I were homeschooled by our mother and had barely spoken to anyone else our own age. Well at least I hadn't, except for my imaginary friend Simon that I had until I was twelve. I was vaguely aware that my brother often snuck out and had a life in the city, calling himself Chris, which was, in fact, his middle name.
I had been trying to draw the landscape for the millionth time, but it was turning out to look like every other copy. There was nothing new. I wanted a change. No. I needed a change. Maybe if I asked, Father would let me go into the city with Jon for a day or so.
My thoughts were interrupted by my mother, who had let herself in without knocking.
"Clary," she said calmly. "Your father wishes to speak with you."
I sighed; making sure it was loud enough for my mother to hear. "I'll be down in a minute."
"Now," My mother commanded in a firmer tone.
I just nodded and stood up reluctantly, my red hair falling into my face. As I walked down the stairs toward Father's office- a small room with many books that I had always referred to as our library- my hands worked unconsciously to pull my unruly curls into a messy bun. My mother went in first and walked straight over to the desk to pick up his empty bowl and glass from lunch. I stood at a distance, waiting for instructions.
"Would you like anything else, Valentine?" My mother asked before leaving us alone in the office.
"No, Jocelyn. Leave us." He didn't try to hide the harshness in his voice, but it was always like that. This might be my only chance to ask him what I had been thinking for months.
"Father," I began, taking the seat in front of his desk, "I would like... I mean, I feel..."
"Spit it out, Clarissa. We have other matters to discuss."
"I want to go to college!" I blurted it out faster than I had planned. The words just came out of my mouth like word vomit. My father, however, barely reacted.
"Now why would you want to do something like that?" He said with an almost smirk. "I didn't go to college and neither did your mother and hardly any of our friends. You don't need to go to college, dear."
"I want to get out of here. I want to see the city and live a normal life for once!" I was about ready to plead and beg. "I know that you know Jon goes out sometimes. It could work."
"Oh, but Clarissa, I have already found you a solution! And you won't have to go to college." He smiled, a rare occasion with Valentine Morgenstern that could only mean one thing: he had a plan and this was somehow working right into it.
I thought of all the possibilities! My father was actually going to let me go out! Dumbstruck, I asked curiously, "What?"
"You are going to get married."
"You are going to get married."
It took me a few seconds to actually comprehend what my father had said, and when I did, I had a tiny panic attack. "WHAT?"
"I have arranged a marriage for you to one of my friend's son, and in return, they will help keep us hidden."
"No!" I was outraged that my father would even consider this. My disbelief was so strong that I couldn't think of a solid argument.
"You will marry him whether you like it or not."
I faltered, searching my mind for some excuse, some way to get out of this. "You can't make me. It's against the law."
"Written laws don't apply to me, Clarissa. The only rules I follow are my own." It was times like these that my own father frightened me, as a wicked smile spread across his face. "Don't make me force you."
"No!" I repeated. "I will not marry some guy I've never met!"
"Oh yes you will," my father said furiously as he searched for something in his desk drawer.
"What are you doing?" I asked, getting scared. I knew what he did to Jon, but I never thought he would do it to me.
"Clarissa, turn around and take off your shirt."
"Father, please," I begged. He was serious.
"Do it!" He yelled.
Slowly I turned around as tears formed in my eyes. I pulled my already ratty T-shirt over my head and stood in front of my father in just a sports bra. I walked forward to put my hands on the wall and brace myself. The first lash hurt more than anything I had ever felt before, but the pain increased with each one. On the fifth lash, the pain was so bad that I collapsed to my knees. My father gave me five more while I was on the ground. The whole time he was yelling things, telling me to be obedient and to shut up and do what I am told. When it was all over I lay in a fetal position on the floor, crying out in pain and shielding my eyes from my father.
"The wedding is on Friday. You will be there, and you will get married," he said firmly before walking out of the room and leaving me alone.
Jon found me soon after. He must've heard my screams because his face showed his concern as soon as he ran in.
"Clary!" he exclaimed as he took in the gruesome sight of my back. "What happened? Why did father do this to you?"
"He's…" I struggled to get out the words between sobs, "…forcing my to marry someone I've never met."
He looked surprised, but I could tell he was more concerned about my bleeding back. "Let's get you cleaned up and then you can tell me everything."
I nodded and somehow my brother was able to help me back to my room. I laid face down on the bed while he went to the bathroom to get a towel. He came back with my towel, soaked with cold water, and placed it carefully on my back. Then he sat beside me as I told him the whole story.
"...My world is ending," I said, finishing the story. Jon sat there in silence with a mixed expression of disbelief and anger on his face.
Then the anger took over. "No. Father cannot do this. I won't let him!"
I reached my arm out toward my brother, attempting to calm him down. Jon had a terrible temper. "There's nothing we can do, Jon. He'll just keep doing this until I do what he wants."
I felt him relax a bit as he understood. He pulled back and opened his mouth to say something but was interrupted by the yell of our mother, telling us dinner was ready.
"I can't go down there right now," I asked, pleading with my eyes. "Can you cover for me?"
"Absolutely." Jon always understood what I needed.
Jon closed the door behind him, leaving me all alone on my bed. All of a sudden, I felt very tired and decided to take a very long nap. Between sniffles and sobs, I eventually drifted off to sleep.
A/N: So, sorry about the awkward pause in the middle of the chapter. It was originally two separate chapters, but they were so short so I decided to give you guys both! I have the first few chapters pre-typed and I have a pretty good idea about how I want the first half to go but I don't know what I want to do from there so review with your ideas and I might work them in! I would usually promise to update everyday but school starts next week and I don't want to have to whip out a chapter and it be bad, so if you let me take my time, I will try to make it good.
