I usually just let her sleep, but tonight… tonight is different. She keeps tossing and turning. I usually would just let her sleep it through because sometimes the nightmares help you move on. Not this one though. This one will haunt her for a while. I should have made her talk about it yesterday, but I didn't. I let her have her time, the time I would have wanted had I just been returned to my home after a two week trip to the cell she was held in. Just thinking about it makes me want to break something.
It's all my fault. I wasn't here to protect her when she needed me the most. No, I was in D.C. sitting at a stinkin desk! She was taken from our home, on our world. The one place I thought she was safe, the one place she thought she was safe. I'm surprised she's even asleep. I know I wouldn't want to fall asleep after what happened.
I know I need to wake her from the depths of this nightmare. It can't be good for her to be reliving it in her sleep. She'll probably flail while I try to comfort her. I'll end up with a black eye, jammed finger, or broken nose. I don't care, though; it would be a small price to pay for what she has been through. Looking at her, I can see her bruises and cuts. I see the wrap on her arm, and the stitches on her face. Why did they take her? Why did they take my wife?
"Please… stop!"
The murmur is barely audible, but I hear it. I hear the plea in her small voice, and it breaks my heart to hear her say it. It was the final straw. I scoop her up and hold her, comforting her with soothing words. What else can I do but simply be here for her?
Minutes or hours pass, I'm not really sure how long it is till I hear her sniffle and push away from me.
"Sam?" I ask.
"Gotta pee." She replies.
So I wait, after 20 minutes of waiting and wondering if she really has to "pee", I go after her. As I get to the bathroom door, that's when I hear her sobbing. I burst in and there she is. Just sitting there with her back against the bathtub and her knees drawn to her chest. The sight is heartbreaking. I don't know what to do. I've never been in this situation before. Sure she's had nightmares before. Who wouldn't after the lives we've had? But this, this is different. Something has changed. I just sit down next to her, and we stare at the bathroom wall, looking into our bedroom.
"They zatted me before I could call for help. It makes me think that they were NID or something like that. Maybe IOA. I don't even know how they got in. There were three of them, all masked and decked out in black. Strong dudes, too. When I came too, I was in a van, I think, tied up. I couldn't move at all, they had me tied to the car somehow.
I was zatted again before we got to the place that they were holding me. The report says that it was an abandoned warehouse with a sealed off storage area. I couldn't tell you. I only remember waking up with an I.V. in my arm and a big burly man with a knife and stick sitting across from me. They drugged me with something, and then big burly man decided he wanted to ask some "questions" with his knife and stick. I was "questioned" for days. He asked me the stupidest questions. I think one time he asked what my favorite color was, I replied, and then he said "WRONG!" Fill in the blanks as to what happened next. I don't know how long I was there. I passed out I guess, because after being "questioned", I woke up in the infirmary.
What I can't figure out is why. Why did I get this? Why was I taken? They didn't ask for information, they didn't want codes, they didn't care about the Stargate, they didn't ask for anything of value. I just don't get it."
"Sam, I don't know either. I wish I could give you the answers, but I can't."
"I guess I may never know… God, this sucks."
We just sat there in silence for what seemed like hours, just silently comforting each other. She knew I was berating myself for what happened. I knew she was trying to come to terms with her recent capture.
And then she leaned over on to my shoulder and I put my arm around her. She fits so perfectly. I can't believe I waited as long as I did to tell her how I felt. She is what completes every part of me. She starts to cry again and I kiss the top of her head and tell her that everything is alright.
"I hurt, Jack. I hurt everywhere. Does it go away?"
"Yeah baby it does. It just takes a little time. Today is a new day, and the sun is rising as we speak. Today you get to take a step in healing. Each day is a step. And then one day, you will look back and see how far you've come. It never completely leaves you. You'll still have the nightmares and the occasional lapse, but overall, this will make you stronger than you will ever know. And the days when you hurt like you are right now, remember… Remember that I love you."
