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Axel walked along the sidewalk on his way home from work. The sun shown brightly on his face and a cool breeze blew through his hair. Everyone was cheerfully on this picturesque afternoon and greeted each other cheerfully as they walked by.
"Good afternoon," one man with a dog beamed, earning himself a scowl from Axel. In his opinion, this suburban town was too sickeningly perfect. Everyone lived happily in their five-year-old vinyl-sided house with their spouse and 2.7 children. It was the kind of place that made a bright-red-spiky-haired, tattooed nobody stick out like a sore thumb. But Axel had long since accepted how different he was, so he figured why not get some enjoyment out of it? That's why he walked right through the streets of the town with his rock music blaring in his ears and smirked every time some passerby gave him a sideways glance. He even wore his Organization cloak sometimes for added effect.
"Hey, Roxas," he greeted his roommate as he entered the half of a duplex they shared.
"Wha- oh, hey Axel," the slightly surprised blond replied from the couch where he was doing his homework. Well, watching TV with his blank homework sprawled across the coffee table in front of him.
"What've you been up to?" Axel asked, sitting down on the couch beside him.
"This," Roxas muttered through a mouthful of potato chips as he indicated the rerun of Dancing With the Stars he'd been watching.
"What're you watching this crap for?" Axel asked as he reached for the bag of chips.
"Nothing good is on," Roxas explained. He grabbed the remote from the table and flipped to the TV Guide channel.
"Joy, hearing the latest update about Britney Spears' stay in the loony bin. So much better," Axel complained as he grabbed the remote from Roxas and turned the TV off.
Looking up at Axel and suddenly realizing their closeness, Roxas blushed slightly and moved farther to the opposite end of the couch. Axel took no notice.
"How was school?" the redhead asked.
"Uhh, okay, I suppose," he muttered awkwardly in response.
"Make a move on that girl Naminé yet?" Axel teased.
"Shut up!" the bright red boy yelled. Axel chuckled at his response, but soon noticed that Roxas wasn't laughing along with him and stopped.
"Roxi, is something wrong?" he inquired. "You're acting kind of weird. I mean, more than usual."
"It's nothing," Roxas murmured and turned away.
Axel moved closer to him and leaned over his shoulder a bit. "Roxi, what's on your mind?"
Roxas shifted uncomfortably, but turned back to the older man. "I'm not sure you want to know. . . ."
Axel's face suddenly grew serious. "Yes, I do," he said in his no-nonsense tone.
Roxas looked down, unable to look Axel in the eye anymore. "But if I tell you . . . well, you might not like it, and won't want to be my friend anymore. . . ."
"That's not true! Please Roxi!" the man insisted, but with no response. "Is this about Naminé? Did something happen at school today?"
"No, this has nothing to do with Naminé!" Roxas shouted, caught off guard. He lifted his head to look at Axel again and said, "Just forget I said anything."
"Please tell me, Roxi." Axel's emerald eyes locked with Roxas' and bore into him, as if he were staring right into Roxas' soul. A faint blush spread across Roxas' face.
"I told you, just forget about it," he muttered awkwardly and looked away. An uncomfortable silence followed. Roxas and Axel reached for the remote at the same time, their hands brushing slightly. Roxas withdrew his hand sharply as if he had just burned it. Axel cast him an inquisitive look, but gave a resigned sigh and settled down to watch the television. After a couple minutes of flipping through the channels, he finally settled on some old reruns of the Twilight Zone—one of Roxas' favorite shows. The two sat in silence for the rest of the episode and half of the next.
Halfway through The Monsters are Due on Maple Street, Roxas stood up. "I'm going for a walk," he announced, in a considerably better mood than before?
Axel stretched and turned off the TV. "Wait, can I come?" he asked as he noticed that Roxas was already halfway out the door.
"What? Uh, yeah sure you can come," he said with a lighthearted laugh as if saying 'why wouldn't you?' Obviously, he had put the earlier conversation behind him and expected Axel to, as well. The redhead was all too willing to oblige if it meant that his roommate would act like himself again.
"So where are you planning on going?" Axel asked once they were halfway down the street.
"Huh?" Roxas jumped at the question as if his mind had been in another world. "Oh, uhh . . ." He looked around, hardly aware of where his feet had been taking him. "The pond, I guess," he replied and laughed at his self for spacing out. Axel, however, remained silent. The pond was where Roxas went whenever something was troubling him and he needed a quiet place to think. Something must really be bugging Roxi. . . .
When they got to the pond, it was empty except for a mother and her two children who were looking for tadpoles. It was early spring; the pond had been restocked for fishing yet and it was wasn't warm enough yet for people to come to just sit around. Roxas automatically went to the footbridge at the far end and sat down. Axel sat down beside him, a little too close for Roxas' comfort.
"I guess I've had a lot on my mind lately," the blond said out of the blue.
"Come here to clear your mind, huh?" Roxas nodded. "So, if you clear your head enough, will you tell me was up with you before?" Axel leaned in closer and smirked at Roxas, knowing he had won.
Roxas' only response was a flushed face. "Aww, come on, please?" the redhead prodded. After several moments of no response, Axel was about ready to give up, but Roxas spoke suddenly.
"Axel . . . why do we have to be the ones with no hearts?" he began in what was hardly more than a whisper. "Why us? It's not fair. . . ."
"I don't know, Roxas," Axel responded sadly.
Roxas continued, this time with much more passionately. "It's like we're some sort of sub-human or something, just because we don't have hearts! What does that mean, anyway? If we don't have hearts, then how is it that we're friends? How is it that I feel that I l-" Roxas was so impassioned by what he had been saying that he hardly realized what he was about to admit.
"I don't know," Axel muttered distantly. Thankfully, he didn't seem to know what Roxas had almost said. "But we are friends, right? That's all that matters, I guess." He smiled at Roxas, but the boy didn't seem as happy with the response. "We are friends, right?" he asked, a little worried. Roxas only turned away. "What's the mater, Rox?"
Before Axel knew what happened, Roxas was hugging him and burying his face in the older man's shirt. "You're an idiot," the blond muttered.
"And you're not?" Axel chuckled. Roxas only hugged him tighter.
"Axel . . ." The boy fell silent.
After a while of remaining in the same position, Axel grew a bit uncomfortable. "Umm, Roxas . . .?"
Roxas slowly let go of the man and stood up. "S-sorry," he sniffled. Axel looked up at Roxas and realized that he was about to cry. As soon as their eyes locked, Roxas tore his gaze away and began running towards the hiking trails in the woods.
"Roxas!" Axel called as he stood up and began to run after Roxas.
"Why are you following me?" Roxas demanded without turning back.
"Why did you run away?" Axel countered. Suddenly, Roxas tripped on a rock and fell. Axel caught up to him and offered him a hand. "Are you okay?" he asked with concern in his voice.
"I'm fine," Roxas told him as he tried to stand in blunt disregard of Axel's help. Axel could tell from him voice that he was crying.
"No, you're not." Axel said sternly as he pulled Roxas to his feet. "If you were fine, you wouldn't have run away from me."
"What does it matter?" the blond shouted. "Some day I'll be gone and you'll forget about me!" The tears running down his face were burning his cheeks, but he didn't care. "I don't even think I'll remember you."
"Roxas, I won't forget about you!" Axel insisted. "How could you even say that?" There was obvious pain in his voice.
Roxas turned away and sat down by the water. Wordlessly, Axel sat beside him. The two let their gazes drift over the water. Roxas seemed completely transfixed on the waves, but Axel snuck a glance over at the boy. He had stopped crying, but he was still visibly upset.
"Axel, I don't want to disappear," the blond said distantly, his eyes still drifting over the water. "I'm me, not Sora . . . right?"
"Um, I'm not sure," Axel responded. He wasn't quite sure himself, but he had some idea, and he was sure Roxas wouldn't like it.
"I-" Roxas began, but he began to choke up again. He flung his arms around Axel and started crying into his chest. Axel held him tightly and patted his head, not knowing what else to do. Once he stopped crying, let go of Axel and began wiping his tears with his sleeve. Still sniffling, he muttered, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't just hug you all the time like that. . . . I-I mean we're guys, so we shouldn't . . ." He stood up stood up mid-sentence.
"Heh, yeah, I guess not." Axel smiled. "So, are you okay." His answer was more waterworks.
"I hate you!" the blond boy shouted at him as the tears streamed down his face and blurred his vision.
"What? What did I do?" Axel asked desperately.
"What did you do?" Roxas repeated in disbelief. "You don't do anything and you always have that stupid, smug smile on your face! You just annoy me so much because you-" he suddenly cut off. After taking a deep breath, he continued in a barely audible whisper. "You care about me the way I care about you."
"What are you talking about?" Axel demanded, completely clueless. "First you say you're my best friend, then you say you hate me, and now you think I hate you or something? I don't get you!" He had finally lost his patience with the boy.
"Idiot . . ." Roxas chocked through sobs.
"Roxas, what's the matter with you?" the redhead said without any attempt to hide his annoyance.
"Are you that dumb or do you just not want to acknowledge it?" demanded Roxas.
"Okay, whatever. I don't know what's the matter with you, and I don't care anymore," he stared Roxas right in the eye with a fiery gaze. Emerald eyes locked with azure for a second, but Roxas broke the contact and wouldn't meet the older man's gaze again.
Fed up with being ignored by the boy, Axel turned and left the way they had came. Roxas tried to be strong and just let him go, but by the time Axel was halfway across the bridge he couldn't stand it anymore. He began running after him and called after him, "Axel! Axel!" but the man wouldn't stop. Roxas finally caught up to him and hugged him from behind, clinging to him desperately as if he might loose Axel forever. "Please don't go," he pleaded. After taking a sharply inhaled breath between sobs, he told Axel his secret that had been burning him for what seemed like all of eternity. "I love you!"
Axel's body suddenly slackened, but he made no move to turn around. Roxas, uncomfortable with the silence, babbled on. "That's what I've been trying to tell you all along! But, I know, you don't care. I don't even know why I bothered telling you. . . ."
The arms that were suddenly wrapped around the blond silenced him. "Roxas . . ." he muttered. After a brief silence, he continued. "Roxas, I do care about you, it's just . . ."
"What Axel?" the boy's eyes looked up at him questioningly. With his big, tear-stained eyes and that inquisitive look on his face, Axel couldn't help but laugh at him. He's such a child sometimes.
Axel loosened the embrace and slid his hands up Roxas' arms, letting his hands rest on the boy's shoulders. "You're like a little brother to me, Rox. You can get on my last nerve sometimes, but I love you." His face suddenly grew more serious. "You know I didn't mean what I said before, right?"
As if snapping out of a trance, Roxas grew angry. He shrugged Axel's hands off of his shoulders and demanded, "How do I know you're not just lying to me? You said those terrible things to me earlier and now you say that you love me? I just . . ." He trailed off and moved closer to Axel, resting his head on the man's chest. "I don't think I can live without you Axel."
Axel patted Roxas' head gently. "I don't think I could live without you either, Roxas." He let a smile grace his lips. "So, you don't really hate me, do you?"
"No, I don't . . ." muttered Roxas as he pulled away from Axel. For a second, Axel .thought he didn't really mean it, but before he voiced the thought, Roxas turned back around and said, "But I still hate that stupid smile of yours!"
Axel burst out laughing. "Like yours is any better," he jibed.
"You know my smile is better," Roxas taunted with the cutest smile he could manage.
"Oh yeah?" Axel, who had finally tamed his laughter, countered with his signature smirk.
Knowing he couldn't win, Roxas crossed his arms and took an intimidating step forward. Axel followed, then Roxas, then Axel, until they were hardly an inch apart. Roxas, feeling short, craned his neck back to look up at Axel. Axel let out an amused snort at the boy's naïveté. He placed his hand behind the boy's head and closed the space in between them. Their lips slammed together and Roxas' eyes grew wide in astonishment. After a while of Axel gently running his fingers though his hair and his lips gruffly coaxing Roxas, the boy relaxed and kissed the man back. Axel stopped kissing the blond and withdrew his lips. He wound his arms around the boy's shoulders, being the only part he could reach, and leaned down to whisper in the blond's ear, "I live you, Rox, got it memorized?"
In unison, the children who had been collecting tadpoles dropped their nets and buckets. Their mouths hung agape and their eyes were fixed on the spot where the two nobodies had just been.
"Mommy!" the little girl called her mother over.
"What is it sweetie?" asked the mother, a bit concerned about her children's traumatized faces.
"What was that?" the girl's brother asked.
"What was what, sweetie?" The woman had no idea what had gotten to either of them.
"That," the boy clarified, pointing to Axel and Roxas, who were now walking hand in hand out of the park.
"Oh, that," she laughed in relief. "That's just a little thing called homosexuality," she explained.
The kids looked at her as if she were speaking some foreign language. "What's . . . hoomosesuly . . .?" the poor, innocent girl inquired.
"Don't worry about it, sweetie, you'll learn about it when you're older. Now, what kind of juice box would you like? Apple or grape?"
Author's Note: Hello, and thanks for reading! This was a combined effort between three people: Shadowspiritgirl, Scarred Exile, and our friend Zoe. We really appreciate that you chose to read this, and we'd love some feedback. Thanks!
~Scarred Exile
