A day in the life of Emmet Cullen
10 AM- stop 'having fun' with Rosalie long enough to check the time.
10:01 AM- freak out about how late it got
10:05 AM- make fun of Jacob for the way he makes breakfast badly
10:10 AM- hide food from Jacob while he gets Renesmee
10:11 AM- wait for Jacob to stop trembling long enough to throw the food at him
10:12 AM- watch Jacob remake breakfast- laughing at him
10:20 AM- sit down with Jacob while he eats and stare at him with a death glare the whole time to make him feel awkward
10:30 AM- listen to Renesmee yell at me for doing it
10:40 AM- Edward and Bella come to the main house- make fun of them for what they had been doing all night
10:45 AM- laugh at Renesmee's disgusted face and Bella's embarrassment
10:46 AM- tell Renesmee how she was made
10:47 AM- receive death glare from Edward, Bella, and Renesmee
10:50 AM- arm wrestle Bella
10:51 AM- victory dance
11:20 AM- gets death glare from Rosalie for messing up her hair during the dance
11:30 AM-watch Rosalie brush her hair
12:30 PM- Charlie comes to visit
12:31 PM-sex jokes to Bella and Edward
1:00 PM- Renesmee storms out of the room with her ears plugged and Charlie leaves
1:01 PM- roll on the ground laughing hysterically
1:30 PM- get death glare from Bella and Edward
1:36 PM- Renesmee comes back with her cheeks flushed
1:37 PM- Jacob makes lunch
1:50 PM- throw out lunch when he leaves the room
1:55 PM- get yelled at by Jacob
1:56 PM- Jacob starts making lunch (again)
2:09 PM- breath on Jacob's food
2:10 PM- sit down and give Jacob death glare while he eats
2:15 PM- get death glare from Renesmee
2:17 PM- grab Alice and hold her against a wall, stare down at her to make her feel short and sing the oompa-loompa song
3:00 PM- let go and receive death glare
3:03 PM- Alice starts giggling and drags Bella to the mall (literally)
3:04 PM- grab recesitation paddles and play doctor with Jacob (zap him with them) while Carlisle races after him
3:10 PM- Carlisle catches up while Emmett tries to turn up the intensity of the zap.
3:11 PM- receive death glare from Carlisle while Jacob ices his butt.
3:12 PM- sing "ice ice baby" into Jacob's ear
3:20 PM- watch Renesmee try to calm Jacob down
3:21 PM- Jacob stops trembling
3:22 PM- go hunting with Jasper
4:22 PM (while hunting)- rip off a bear's head, put it on and gallop towards home screaming "I'm Jacob, I'm Jacob!!"
4:30 PM (still screaming and galloping around)- receive death glare from all werewolves 5:00 PM- stop galloping with bear head on
5:01 PM- get yelled at by Rosalie for messing up the shirt she bought for him
6:00 PM- Jacob starts making dinner
6:25 PM- Jacob attempts to yell for Renesmee so the food doesn't get taken
6:26 PM- Run and pin down Renesmee
6:27 PM- Hear Jacobs heavy footsteps to get Renesmee and run to hide food
6:28 PM- Throw food at Jacob and yell food fight!!!!
6:28 PM- Jacob refuses to do food fight
6:29 PM:- Continue to throw entire contents of kitchen at Jacob
7:05 PM- Hear everyone coming to see what's going on
7:05 PM- Start screaming.. "JACOB STOP PHASING AND DESTROYING THE KITCHEN! All I did was say I made dinner for you and Renesmee"
7:06 PM- Esme doesn't believe that it was Jacob and gives me the death glare
7:10 PM- Bella and Alice get back from shopping.(Bella runs and grabs Edwards hand to go to their cottage while Alice has a superior smile on her face)
7:11PM - Esme makes me clean kitchen
8:00 PM- Wonders if I haven't annoyed any one yet..
8:10 PM- sits on the couch with Jacob and starts screaming, "Damn it Renesmee, how many times did I tell you not to let pets on the couch."
8:11 PM- gets bone from bear head (from earlier hunt)
8:12 PM- throws it at Jacob and yells.. "GO FETCH"
8:13 PM- waits for Jacob to stop trembling
8:20 PM- yells "FINALLY THE DOG STOPS SHIVERING!! GEEZ JACOB…GET SOME SELF-CONTROL!"
8:21 PM- laughs hysterically as Jacob looses control and phases
8:22 PM- wrestle with Jacob
8:23 PM- Renesmee starts screaming "LEAVE HIM ALONE!" and jumps on my back
8:24 PM- Carlisle comes and pulls me off Jacob
8:27 PM- receive death glare from Carlisle, Esme, Renesmee, and Jacob while Jasper high fives him.
8:29 PM- tip toes out to cottage
8:30 PM- stands outside and screams "OH MY GOD THAT'S GROSS!! EEEW MY EYES!!"
8:32 PM- everyone runs out to find Bella and Edward staring at him like he's crazy
8:33 PM- laughs hysterically while others get mad and go back inside
8:35 PM- receive death glare from Bella and Edward
8:37 PM- brings Edward inside quickly to show him what he did to Jacob before it heals
8:40 PM- receive high five from Edward…he starts watching TV
8:45 PM- sneaks out and grabs Bella and drags her into the living room
8:46 PM- pretends to bite Bella and screams "I HAVE NO SELF CONTROLL…I'M JASPER!!!!!!"
8:47 PM-rolls on floor laughing hysterically
8:49 PM- stands up and receives death glare from whole room
8:55 PM- goes to 'have fun' with Rosalie for the night
