Marissa had just gotten back from Ireland, she spent the last two months in Ireland, trying to forget, trying to do anything. But it was all numb. She didn't see anyone's face, she didn't hear anyone's words. It was all just grey, she was just numb. Marissa sat at the bar in the club house, she knew she shouldn't have been there because she really didn't want to see him. But this was her family, way before it was his. Marissa wasn't going to hide from that.
Jax came up behind his sister, he kissed the back of her head. "Hey Darlin, how was your trip?" Marissa looked at him, her eyes basically dead. "Fine." She said as she got up and headed for the door. This was a mistake, and she shouldn't have come back, just like he said he wouldn't. But clearly that was a lie to, as well as their love. Marissa knew this right away, as she saw him walking into the club house.
Marissa's eyes widened, seeing him again it still made her heart race, but she had to forget that, she couldn't let him get into his head. Not again. Marissa shook her head, and backed up walking into the back rooms. There was no way she was going to do this again, she couldn't. Because it had hurt too much the last time. "Marissa!" Juice called after her.
Marissa stopped at the sound of her name coming from his mouth. Fine, she could at least hear what he had to say. She turned around with her arms across her chest as Juice walked up to her, it looked like he was going to hug her so Marissa took a step back. That got the point across because he stopped moving forward. "How was Ireland?" Juice asked.
Marissa shrugged. "It was fine. I guess." She let her blue eyes fall to the ground as he started to talk. He was saying how sorry he was, that he left her alone. Marissa shook her head, as she raised her eyes to his face, he started walking closer again. But Marissa balled up her fist and placed it in front of her, it touching his chest keeping him at an arm's length. "What do you want Juice?" Marissa said, growing tired of this conversation.
"I want you." Marissa heard Juice say. No, that wasn't fair. He couldn't just say that, not after sending her away. The club forced her to go to Ireland, spend some time away from the club. And away from Lawrence. Marissa shook her head, this was killing her.
"No, you don't. You had me, I was in love with you. You had me waiting for you while you did 14 months in jail. You had me two months ago and you sent me away." Marissa said she was starting to feel uncomfortable about this conversation; she was starting to feel like she was vulnerable around him again.
"I want to make that up to you." Juice said, moving her fist away from his chest so he could walk closer. He put his hands on her shoulders and looked down at her. "I want you." Juice repeated. Marissa looked down, moving her eyes away from him, one more look into those eyes and she might have given in.
"It has nothing to do with me. It's about you. And it is always about you: what you need and what you want." Marissa said before she sighed and finally looked up at him. "You seem to only want me, when you can't have me." She said, She loved him, so much. She still did, and probably always would. But he needed to prove to her that he still was the guy she loved. Not the one who ran away. "Come on Marissa, Ma and I are heading out." Jax yelled into the backroom.
"I gotta go." Marissa whispered to Juice. She moved away from his hands as she patted his chest softly with her hand. She couldn't do this, at least not yet. She needed to know what he felt was true this time, and that he wouldn't leave. Marissa started heading towards Jax but she turned last minute to look at Juice once more. "I'll be around." She said before leaving to go with her Mother.
