Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck. I'm far, far too twisted and perverted to own anything that airs on broadcast television.
A/N: First of all, this fic was written as a birthday gift for the AMAZINGLY talented Liam2. My buddy Liam has been having a rough go of it, of late, and hopefully, this story will serve to help lift his spirits just a bit. Also, this fic also marks, probably, the most twisted stuff I've ever done in the Chuck fic community. For that, I credit (blame?) Liam just a bit. I've certainly found a new level of twisted since I befriended him. Anyway, I don't say this enough, because busting your balls is so much fun, but I truly treasure your friendship, and I'm constantly in awe of your writing ability, and your general ability to just be awesome, dude. Happy birthday, dude, and I hope you enjoy the story. And I hope everyone else enjoys it, as well, and please leave me a review. Thanks!
Sarah Walker Problem Solver
-by-
Wepdiggy
Written for Liam2's birthday
"Sarah, I think she knows," Chuck said, his voice bordering on panic as he paced back and forth in front of the living room sofa.
"There's no way," Sarah said dismissively. "Why would she know, Chuck? Devon said he didn't say anything while they were in Africa, and you haven't said anything. Morgan hasn't said anything. There's just no way she could know."
"You heard her," Chuck said, his freak out far from over. "She said 'something's up with Chuck and Sarah'. She didn't ask, she didn't say it as though she had any doubt. Sarah, she knows something."
Sarah sighed. "You're really not going to leave this alone, are you?"
Chuck didn't answer outright. He didn't have to. The incredulous look on his face said it all.
"Not even if I tell you I bought you a present today, and I really want to give it to you, like, right now?"
Now Chuck looked conflicted. Mostly because he was. "Well, I like presents," he said shyly. "What is it?"
Sarah smiled devilishly. "It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you, now would it? Guess you'll just have to unwrap it."
"Fine, then where is it?" Chuck asked, his excitement building.
Sarah stood from the couch, and stepped toward her nerdy boyfriend, a predatory gleam in her eye. "Here, I'll help you get started," she said, unbuttoning the first button of her blouse.
Chuck seemed to think on that for a moment. "Oh!" he said, finally understanding what was happening. "So, you're the present?"
"I guess you could say that," she said. "Well, me, and what I'm wearing under all these heavy clothes."
"Huh, well, that's… nice."
"You sound disappointed," Sarah observed, herself showing disappointment, and hurt.
"No," Chuck quickly corrected. "It's just, Sarah this is kind of a big deal. If Ellie starts piecing things together, then she'll figure at least something out. Only, she won't know the whole story, and she'll be in greater danger than if she did. And I don't want her in any danger, so…"
"Fine," Sarah said, dropping her "sexy" pose, and plopping back down on the couch.
"Fine?" Chuck asked.
"Yeah, fine. I'll take care of it."
"When you say take care of it…"
"I'll get Ellie to stop asking questions. I'll do that, for you, because that's what a good girlfriend would do," Sarah said.
"You want me to come with?" Chuck asked.
"No, that's really a bad idea, Chuck. It's important I go this alone."
Chuck seemed to contemplate that for a bit. "Wait," he said. "You're not going to hurt her, in any way, are you?"
"Really?" Sarah asked. "What do you take me for, Chuck? You know I abhor violence."
Then, off Chuck's disbelieving glare: "Yeah, I heard it, and I can't believe I tried to say that, either. But honestly, Chuck, I could never hurt your family. Well, on occasion, I've felt like hurting Morgan, but not Ellie. Never Ellie. And besides, I know what it's like when someone tries to hurt your family, and I could never do that to you."
"Family?" Chuck asked.
"Yeah, well, I've never had much in the way of family, but you know, my dad, and my cousin."
"Cousin?" Chuck asked.
"Er, um, yeah, about that…"
"You have a cousin? Who is it? Carina?" Chuck asked, suddenly rather eager.
"No, not Carina," Sarah said.
"Damn. Then I haven't met them?"
"Oh, you've met him," Sarah said vaguely.
"I have?" Chuck asked. He seemed to think for a moment, then: "It's not Casey, is it? Because that would be all kinds of weird."
"It was Bryce," Sarah blurted out.
"Oh," Chuck said. Then he realized something, and a look of disgust appeared on his face. "OH! Sarah! But you two were – I mean, I don't know the intimate details, nor do I want to, but I would assume that you…"
"Don't think on it too hard, Chuck."
"But, but, you're cousins, and you –"
"Second cousins," Sarah said in her defense. "It's not like we're first cousins, or God forbid, brother and sister, or anything."
"Ugh, still! That only makes an incredibly fucked up situation marginally better!"
"Well, I mean, it is what it is, Chuck," Sarah said.
"But how could you!?"
"I'm from the South," Sarah explained.
"Really? I always thought you more the Midwesterner type," Chuck said.
"Well, Great Lakes, actually. Minnesota to be more specific."
"I thought you just said you were from the South?" Chuck asked, confused.
"Lots of states have a South, Chuck," Sarah answered matter-of-factly.
Chuck took a tic to process that information. With a shrug: "Fair enough. Well, I guess that excuses you, but what about Bryce? He was from Connecticut, how could he do that – er, you?" Chuck asked, grimacing at the last.
Now it was Sarah's turn to look at Chuck incredulously. "Seriously, Chuck?" Chuck still didn't seem to be getting her point. "I mean, look at me. Cousin or no, I'm really hot."
"True story," came a voice from the kitchen.
"Morgan!?" Chuck and Sarah asked in unison.
"Hi guys. Just grabbing some water, then I'll be out of your way," the bearded man said.
"How much of that did you hear?" Chuck asked.
"Well, most of it, I guess," Morgan said with a shrug. "Ellie knows something's going on. Sarah offered to fix it. Oh, and Sarah had no qualms boinking Bryce, despite their familial situation. Did I miss anything?"
"No, I think that covers it," Sarah said flatly.
"Oh, hey!" Morgan said excitedly. "If Sarah's going to handle the Ellie thing, that leaves you free to come with me tonight then, doesn't it?"
"That's right!" Sarah said. "You guys were going to that midnight showing of The Big Lewinski, weren't you?"
"The Big Lebowski," Chuck corrected.
"Yeah, that, whatever," Sarah said. "So you boys can run along and do that, I can handle Ellie, and then when you get home, Chuck can give me a 3 AM showing of the 'Big Bartowski'," she added with a wink.
"Can I tell you how much I love this plan?" Morgan asked, walking into the living room, finally. "Just you and me, buddy, the way it used to be." Morgan said, holding up his hand for a hi-five.
Chuck obliged his friend, if a bit unenthusiastically. Luckily, Morgan was in too good of a mood to notice Chuck's pouting.
"So, it's already 10:30, you boys might want to run along. Get something to eat on the way," Sarah suggested.
"See, this is why you need to hold onto this one, Chuck. She's probably the smartest woman alive."
"Woman?" Sarah asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Fine, you're the smartest person alive, period," Morgan said.
"That's better. Have fun, you two," Sarah said, before kissing Chuck's cheek, and retreating to her bedroom to prepare for operation "Get Ellie Under Control". As she stepped in front of the mirror, she thought she heard Morgan shout something akin to "The Dude abides," but she wasn't sure. She really didn't care. She had something to take care of, for Chuck, and she wouldn't let him down.
Yeah, it was a bit weird. After all, Ellie didn't get to hang out with Sarah, one-on-one very much at all. And the few times that it did happen, Ellie always seemed to be the one to initiate it. So when Sarah called her up, at 10:30 at night, no less, to have a drink and a chat, Ellie was a bit shocked.
That's not to say that she wasn't pleased. There were so many positives to Sarah coming over for a late night, girls only drink. First of all, there was the obvious positive: getting to bond with the love of her brother's life. For too long, Ellie had known that Sarah was "the one" for Chuck. It was just that the girl could be so closed off sometimes. So if the other woman was finally going to open up, that was certainly something Ellie wanted to be there for.
Then there was the more devious side of Ellie's plan. Sarah might not have anything to do with Devon's strange behavior over the past six months, or even Chuck's strange behavior for the past three years, but the blonde might be able to shed a little light on just where Chuck's, and by extension Devon's head was.
The doctor spent ten minutes getting ready for her company. Ordinarily, a late night chat with a friend wouldn't have prompted Ellie to gussy herself up at all. She would have been comfortable in just the scrubs she normally wore in front of any of her other friends. But this was Sarah. Sarah, who for whatever reason always seemed to be dressed to kill. And Ellie wasn't going to embarrass herself in front of Chuck's girlfriend by not being dressed at least on par with the other woman.
So when the doorbell rang, Ellie was in a purple, tight, low-cut top that showed off her ample cleavage, and a nice, form fitting pair of jeans. It wasn't formal wear by any stretch – after all, she didn't want to appear to be trying too hard – but whatever Sarah had whipped up from her seemingly endless wardrobe, Ellie was going to be able to match.
Or so she thought.
When Ellie opened the door, she was greeted by a puff of smoke, and Sarah Walker in a long, black trench coat. The blonde confidently strode past Ellie, a lit cigarette in hand.
"Sarah?" Ellie asked, bewildered. "Are you, um, smoking?"
"You're damn right, I'm smoking," Sarah answered, pulling open her trench coat, and letting it fall to the floor. With the outerwear removed, Chuck's girlfriend was left standing in a black leather corset that lifted and separated her boobs just right, and shiny black riding boots that came up to mid-thigh. "Oh, shit, you meant the cigarette," she added, ignoring the shocked look on Ellie's face. "Yeah, I guess I'm smoking in that way, too."
Ellie did her best to get her wits about her. She tried to ignore the incredibly fit woman standing in front of her. At least, she tried to ignore Sarah's current attire. "Um, not to be a nag, but I don't allow smoking in my home," the brunette said.
Sarah fixed Ellie with a hard stare, piercing, icy blue eyes seeming to stare right through the doctor. "Tonight, you allow nothing. I'll be giving the orders, and you'll follow every one of them, and like it. You got that?"
Ellie had never heard Sarah speak with that tone before. Honestly, Ellie couldn't remember ever being spoken to like that by anyone. It was just so commanding. Words that didn't leave room for argument, for protest. Still, she wasn't going to give in just yet.
"Listen, Sarah, I don't know what's going on here –"
"And that's a good start," Sarah said, cutting her off. "You don't know what's going on here, and you're not going to ask questions. Think of it as an exercise in keeping your mind on your own business, and keeping your mouth shut," Sarah seethed.
"I just –"
Before Ellie could say anything more, Sarah dropped her cigarette to the floor, and stomped it out with the heel of her boot, thoroughly rubbing it into the hardwood floor. "Oops, looks like I made a bit of a mess." She paused. "Well, won't be the only mess I make tonight, if you get what I'm saying." She looked away thoughtfully. "Still, I think it needs to be cleaned up."
Ellie swallowed, hard. She'd never been more scared in her life, than she was at that moment. "I'll go get a mop," she said softly.
"No," Sarah said, her voice still as commanding as it had been moments before. "You'll clean it with this," she added, reaching between her breasts, and pulling out a toothbrush.
"You," Ellie swallowed again, "you want me to clean the floor with a toothbrush?"
"I do," Sarah said. "And tonight, Ellie, I get what I want, you understand that?"
She didn't know why, but for whatever reason, Ellie couldn't find it in herself to argue with this woman that, until that night, she thought she knew. "Okay," she said meekly, taking the brush from Sarah's hand.
"No, not 'okay'," Sarah said. "You will answer me 'yes mistress'."
"Huh?"
"I said," Sarah began, her voice growing even more threatening, "you will answer me 'yes mistress'. Any violation of that will result in punishment."
As if to prove her point, Sarah pulled a riding crop that had been strapped to her thigh, and cracked it in the air. That little extra was all the motivation Ellie needed to drop to her knees and begin to scrub Sarah's cigarette stain.
"Not like that," Sarah commanded.
Ellie looked up questioningly from where she was, her knees on the floor, sitting on her haunches.
"All fours, bitch," Sarah spat.
There were hundreds of things Ellie wanted to say. She wanted to last out at the blonde for first smelling up her apartment, and then for calling her a bitch. She wanted to ask why Sarah was being so mean. She wanted to know why Sarah was dressed like she was. But the look on the face of the other woman told Ellie that anything she had to say would be unwelcome, and Sarah frankly scared the bejesus out of her, so Ellie did as she was told.
Sarah circled around behind Ellie as she scrubbed away. "Mmmm, look at that ass," Ellie heard her guest say.
Then Ellie felt a light smack on her backside, causing her to yelp with surprise. She turned her head to see Sarah holding the riding crop, a predatory scowl on her face. Sarah continued to circle her, until she was back in front of Ellie.
"And those tits. God, I just want to bury my face in between them."
Finally, Ellie had enough. Being a beautiful – and yes, she could admit that she was beautiful – woman, it was far from the first time in her life she'd been objectified. But never by a woman. And certainly never by a woman she considered a friend. A woman that was in a relationship with her brother. She had to know.
"Sarah, wha – I mean, why? Why are you doing this?"
Sarah reached down, and grabbed a hand full of Ellie's hair, pulling the brunette to her feet. Sarah stared into Ellie's eyes for a moment, and Ellie could now say beyond a shadow of a doubt that she'd never been more scared in her life. The expression on Sarah's face was beyond stern.
"How did I say you're to address me, bitch?" Sarah spat.
"I'm sorry," Ellie stammered. "I'm sorry, mistress. But why are you doing this, mistress?"
Instead of giving her an answer, Sarah forcefully pressed her lips against Ellie's. Despite her struggles, Ellie was unable to fight away from the kiss, and in a matter of seconds, Sarah had forced her tongue into Ellie's mouth. The older woman rationalized that since trying to fight it seemed futile, she may as well go along with whatever it was Sarah was after, so she eventually relaxed into the kiss, allowing Sarah's probing tongue to explore her mouth.
Sarah pulled away from Ellie's lips with a smack. "Mmm, that was nice," she purred. "So, I guess I should at least tell you why I'm here."
"That would be nice," Ellie said indignantly. Then, taking in the angry look that crossed Sarah's face, she added, "I mean, I'd like that, mistress."
"Good girl," Sarah said. "You're learning so fast. Now, as to why I'm here, Chuck is upset that you're been sticking your nose in his business, as of late. And when Chuck's upset, then he doesn't perform, sexually. And when Chuck doesn't perform sexually, it ruins my evening. So, in that sense, you've been ruining my evening a lot, lately."
"So this is revenge?" Ellie asked.
Sarah laughed. "Revenge?" she asked. "Oh, no. This is about teaching you a lesson. This is about you learning your place in the world."
"What's my place in the world, mistress?"
Sarah once again grabbed Ellie's hair, dragging her face within millimeters of Sarah's own. "Your place is doing anything I tell you to do, and now, I'm telling you to leave Chuck alone."
"Is that all, mistress?" Ellie asked.
Sarah seemed to think on it a moment. "No, that's not all. I need you to prove your loyalty."
"And how do I do that?" Ellie asked nervously.
"Lose the shirt and trousers, bitch," Sarah said.
And hour later, the two women lay spent on the floor, Sarah spooning up behind Ellie, holding her firmly in her toned arms. Sarah was wearing nothing but her riding boots at that point, and Ellie was wearing less than that.
"That was nice," Sarah said with a sigh, her hand firmly grasping Ellie's breast.
Ellie didn't reply, but Sarah knew that, if she was honest with herself, that Ellie would admit that she liked it, too.
"We'll have to do this more often," Sarah added. And she meant it. When the night began, starting an ongoing affair with Ellie was the furthest thing from her mind, but after everything that happened, the blonde decided that it was too good not to try again.
And it also turned out that all Bartowski's tasted alike. Like peaches. Yum.
Noticing the clock on the wall read 2:30 AM, Sarah pulled herself away from Ellie's sweaty, well sated body. "Chuck's going to be home soon," she said. "So I really need to be going. Wouldn't want him being suspicious. Anyway, Ellie, the pleasure was all mine, which is the only thing that matters in the end."
Ellie nodded mutely.
"Oh, and before I go, let's review, shall we?" Sarah asked. "What are you going to do from now on?"
"I'm going to mind my own business, mistress," Ellie said.
"And what are you not going to do?"
"I'm not going to ask questions of Chuck, or Devon. Whatever they have going on is none of my concern."
"Good girl," Sarah said, giving Ellie's backside one more smack for good measure, before standing and putting her clothes back on.
Chuck walked into his apartment to find Sarah still awake, sitting on the sofa in one of his t-shirts, and a pair of his boxers, reading a book.
"How was the movie?" she asked, not looking up from her reading.
"Amazing, as always," Chuck answered. "So, you still up for that 3 AM showing of The Big Bartowski?"
Sarah yawned. "Nah, I'm a bit tired now. Let's just go to bed and snuggle, okay?"
"Sounds good to me. I'm kinda beat, myself," Chuck said.
He offered Sarah a hand, and helped pull her to her feet, and kissed her chastely on the lips. She moaned contentedly, and he could swear he heard her say under her breath: "I could eat peaches all day."
A/N: Once again, happy birthday, Liam. Hope you have a fantastic 27th year, and I hope you enjoyed the fic. And for all my other readers, I hope you enjoyed it, too. You guys are awesome. Peace.
