***
With the sincerest apologies to J.R.R. Tolkien and Sir. Walter Scott, who
are probably both spinning in their graves at this very moment.
Once again, I proclaim to you all: I do NOT think that Legolas is a fairy.
I think he's straighter than Aragorn. I just couldn't help it when I was
hit with the idea for this. It all kinda flowed out, and it's a shame to
waste such brilliant poetry just cuz you don't agree with it, ne?
One more thing: The second line was written by my friend Alanna, not by me.
All credit for the second line goes to ALANNA. NOT ME. ^^ Go 'Lana! *cheer*
***
O young Legolas is come out of the closet,
And it was one Gim-i-li that caused it;
And save his good longbow he weapons had none,
He rode all unarm'd, and he rode all alone.
So faithful in love, and so lacking in mass,
There never was elf like the young Legolas.

He staid not for girl, and he stopp'd not for stone,
He swam the Brandywine where ford there was none;
But ere he alighted at Rivendell gate,
The dwarf had consented, the elf had come late:
For a hobbit named Frodo (who wasn't a lass),
Was to wed the fair Gimli of brave Legolas.

So boldly he enter'd the Rivendell Hall,
Among dwarves, elves, and humans, and hobbits and all:
Then spake the Lord Elrond, his hand on his sword,
(For the poor possessed Frodo said ne'er a word,)
"O come ye to eat here, or come ye to fast,
Or to dance at our bridal, young Prince Legolas?"

"I long woo'd yon Gimli, my suit was denied; --
Love swells like the Anduin, but ebbs like its tide --
And now I am come, with this lost love of mine,
To shoot but one arrow, drink one cup of wine.
There are maidens in Mirkwood more lovely I guess,
That would gladly be bride to the young Legolas."

The dwarf kiss'd the goblet: the elf took it up,
He slurped up the wine, and he threw down the cup.
Gimli look'd down to blush, and he look'd up to sigh,
With a beard on his chin and a tear in his eye.
Legolas took Gimli's hand, ere the hobbits could pass, --
"Now shoot we an arrow!" said young Legolas.

So stately the dwarf, and so fair the elf's face,
That never a hall such a arrow did grace;
While the hobbits did fret, and Lord Elrond did fume
And the Frodo stood dangling his bonnet and plume;
And the bride-maidens whisper'd, "'twere better, we guess
To have match'd the fair Gimli with young Legolas."

One touch to his hand, and one word in his ear,
When they reach'd the hall-door, and the bobsled stood near;
So light to the sled the fair Gimli he swung,
So light to the handle before him he sprung!
"He is won! we are gone, down the big mountain pass!;
They'll have swift sleds that follow," quoth young Legolas.

There was mounting 'mong elves of the Rivendell clan;
Dwarves, Men, and Hobbits, they rode and they ran:
There was racing and chasing on top of the sea,
But the lost bride of Moria ne'er did they see.
So daring in love, and so lacking in mass,
Have ye e'er heard of gallant like young Legolas?