Greetings. I don't have much of anything to say in this note besides please comment on the work.
The disclaimer thing I don't really need: I don't it.
Entry 1
I really don't feel like doing this, but Kazuma said it would help. I am annoyed that this is coming now. Everything's going fine (well not really fine, but better I suppose) and then something happens. Sure it bugs you, but it doesn't really hit you then. No, it decides to wait until maybe a few days or even three months pass and then it comes at you with all the force of a freight train.
Writing is supposed to help cope with such things. My brother says so anyway. I don't really know where I want to start though. In all honesty I don't want to start at all. In fact I'm thinking about crumbling this paper up right now. My dreams are getting worse though, so I guess I'll put up with this. Dreams should be a nice place to start. Yeah.
Dreams kinda bug me. I don't hate them or anything, but they just have this quality about them that gets to me. Like they're hyper realistic and yet they always don't feel quite like reality. It feels like a dream and yet it feels real. Then sometimes you can't remember them, but you'll have this feeling that you do. It'll be right on the tip of your tongue and yet you can never remember it.
This dream though, I remember it very clearly. Even now I still can picture it in my mind. So I had got away from the Doctor. I was running. I didn't know where to. I never could navigate on that island and I wasn't really concerned with where I was going. I just knew that I needed to get far away and fast. Being near a crazy man with god powers and servants to answer his every beck and call just isn't very good for your health you know. I didn't get very far on foot though. Nope I fell through a hole and banged my head sharply on the cave wall. I hit that wall hard enough that I passed out.
There was a period of simple blackness after that. I could have been dead and I never would've known (but how do you know when you die anyway). That didn't last for long. Or maybe it did. You can't tell time when you're conked out because you smacked right into some big rock after you tripped. I can't remember how the dream began. I never can. Kazuma swears he can. I'm not sure I believe him, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt for now. So I was falling. Falling from the island into a black expanse of nothingness. The Doctor laughed from up on the island. He seemed to be enjoying my panic quite a bit. Even in my dreams he's a sick bastard. I swatted at the air. It didn't do any good, but I didn't really care. I was falling and I was frantic. Swatting at nothing seemed like a good idea.
Falling can't last forever though. You can wake up or hit the ground, but at some point it has to end. In my dream it just sorta ended. I'm not sure when or how the next bit of my dream began, but I was drowning next. Where I was and why I was drowning I didn't know. I was just drowning as that witch cackled away. She just laughed and laughed as I helplessly sank lower and lower. Drowning hurts. Even dream drowning. You can't breath. There's a dull pain in your chest. Your body feels weak and helpless. At least that's how it felt in my dream. I wasn't really scared like I was when I was falling. I was frustrated. I could see the surface. I could see the sun. I couldn't get to it though. I couldn't even move. I knew I could get there, but I just didn't have the energy. So I was gonna die. I remember thinking to myself "Well this sucks". That seems so stupidly apathetic. "Oh I'm dying...darn..."
The dream ended. I woke up some time after that for a short while. I blacked out right after opening my eyes though. My sleep was dream free then. Nothing. Just dark. I was being carried to the Mimiga Village during this time I guess. They didn't like me very much (the feeling was mutual) ,but they apparently had the decency to save drowning strangers.
When I did finally wake up I felt like hell. My head was splitting and I was disorientated. Not a pleasant mix of feelings at all. Then to find that I was in some new and unknown building made it even worse. I wasn't being kept in prison by a mad doctor with a magical hat, but I was somewhere unfamiliar. That scared me. I couldn't do much about it though. I tried to sit up a bit (boy that was a stupid idea) and ended up making my condition worse. I was helpless. That bugged me a lot.
It was then that I first saw Toroko. She had been sitting next to my bed (it was really her brother Arthur's) watching to make sure I didn't suddenly die in my sleep I suppose. She hopped off the chair she had been sitting on and ran off. She spoke with someone in the next room, I could hear her. The person (well mimiga really) she spoke to was King, the mimiga's leader in this town. Even then he disliked me though at that point it was only because I was someone new. Later he'd come to hate me for my personality and being friends with Toroko as well. He was real nice. Here's what he had to say about me. "She can stay until she can walk. Then she must leave or suffer the consequences." What a happy mimiga King was. You couldn't really blame him though (I did anyway). His village had been hit by the Doctor and his goons earlier. Toroko pleaded with him for a bit. She gave up.
After she abandoned her attempt to convince King otherwise Toroko came back to sit next to me. "How are you feeling?" she asked. Her voice reeked with concern. That along my mood (it was sour as could be now that I knew I was safe for a while) made me answer her with "What do you think?" My first impression of Toroko wasn't all that great.
Toroko apologized after that. She must have thought that she was the reason I was upset. It wasn't her so much as it was well, everything. Being betrayed by the man who was supposed to see to your safety on an island you never wanted to visit just kinda ruins your mood. Toroko sat by the bed quietly after apologizing. She was concerned, but was worried about upsetting me again. At least I think she was anyway. I wasn't paying much attention to her. I was busy being mad at mom and everything else.
Some time passed. I'm not sure how much. I never could tell on the island. That always bugged me. It made me feel even more lost and helpless than I already was. Toroko got up and said something about food and getting me some. I warmed up a bit at hearing that. I hadn't eaten in a long while. I was hungry. Toroko soon came back with flowers. Being the human (well former human) I was I was accustomed to food being things like bread and steak and flowers being those pretty things you keep in vases. I questioned Toroko about the flowers. I wasn't all that nice about either.
"This is food."
"No. Those're flowers."
"Which are food."
This back and forth exchange continued for a while and then I couldn't take it anymore. I was fed up with this island and everything on it. Some rabbit was trying to convince me that flowers were suitable food stuffs for humans (she never said human, I just kinda assumed). I yelled at her. I feel bad for that now. Not much I can do now though. She shrank back a bit and asked what the mimiga where I came from ate.
"Who cares what they eat! I'm a human and we don't have you things where I live anyway!"
Why I remember saying that so clearly, I don't know. I suppose it has to do with what happened next. Toroko looked at me confused and said to me "But...you are a mimiga."
I was getting tired of this joke (at least I thought it was one) and held up my hands so that she could see them clearly. "See hu-" I never got very far because I saw that my hands were now white and fuzzy. I pulled at the fur lightly at first and then yanked on it hoping that it would come out. It didn't. All I got were a few hairs and a hurt hand. I was kinda hoping that Toroko had glued fur to my hands while I slept as part of some overly elaborate prank. Denial didn't work though. I reached for my hair. That had turned from a head of verdant green locks to soft white fur. Where my little human ears had been before where long loppy mimiga ears. Needless to say I didn't react to this well at all. I let out a small cry as I panicked. Even my voice was different. I hadn't noticed that before.
Toroko wasn't sure what to make of my reaction (who would be?) and asked stupidly "Are you okay?" Why is that all most people can think to ask in such situations? She must have realized that it wasn't at all helpful because she apologized right after asking. She didn't try to ask more superficial questions to try and console me. She didn't try to dissect my mood and every factor leading to it. She just stayed there. I knew she was there, but she didn't badger me. I liked that about Toroko. Had my mom or Kazuma seen that outburst I would never had had any rest. I calmed down and said to myself "I'm a mimiga". Toroko nodded in agreement. It didn't feel real. I felt dumb for forgetting that that witch had turned me into a mimiga.
