Disclaimer: I don't own these characters.

A/N: This is unbeta'd and will be redone again in the future after I play Dream Drop Distance. The title comes from the song Slowly Falling Awake by 10 Years. Now I'm going to work on the fics I should be working on.

Part 1 of the How far will I fall series

Character Death.


The first time he sees them he's roaming the gold halls of the palace. He sees odd shapes twist in the shadows and glowing yellow eyes blink in his direction. They watch and whisper for the young god to come closer. Loki runs when their clawed hands and sharp teeth reach for him.

No one believes him when he describes the monsters lurking in the corridors of Asgard. They say he's a very imaginative child with lovely stories. Surely, if such monsters existed, Heimdall would have seen them or Odin sensed them.

Centuries pass and everyone forgets the stories of heart eating creatures but the name Liesmith remains.

~~O~~

It's an accident.

Thor and his friends are so badly wounded that he's afraid they might not survive. The shadows gather around them and his barriers are failing. As a last resort Loki throws himself into his power letting it rip through the hordes of beasts. Weak as he is he tries to heal the others with his remaining strength.

A hand pulls him away when he finishes. He wrenches out of the scarred mans grip only to stumble causing everything to spin. He gasps when a heavy weight burns throughout his chest. The man approaches again, lifting the young god as black tendrils wisp around them.

"I got ya kid."

~~O~~

Loki tries to leave The Castle That Never Was before the name change ceremony. He grits his teeth saying he will never use the names they force upon him. The scarred man laughs as the trickster glares defiantly at their leader. Before Loki can flex his magic Xemnas has a hold of him.

"If you leave you will be turned into a dusk."

The god knows he should feel terror or even hatred but it's not there.

~~O~~

He doesn't care what the Nobodies say. It isn't true. Deep down he knows he's more than just a hollow shell, more than just a remnant. Missing a simple organ doesn't make a difference and he believes that. He knows he's alive and real and is determined to prove it to the others. No one notices the little changes he underwent when he returns home. They always called him heartless anyway.

Sometimes he wishes Thor could see through his emptiness and guide him back into the Light.

~~O~~

Heimdall's eyes cannot penetrate through the Darkness he wraps around himself as he travels to Jotunheim. Loki thinks that if things were different he would not need to resort to such a reckless plan. He continues anyway because he cannot let Thor become king, not when his heart is so vulnerable to anger and hate. He wants his brother to prove himself worthy and together they will stop the Heartless and Nobodies.

Maybe Loki will regain his heart, too.

~~O~~

'This must be why they never cared', he thinks as blue runs along his arms. He's angry, at least he tells himself it's anger, even if its nothing more than a memory of his emotions.

~~O~~

When Loki takes Gungnir into his hands he feels a presence in the Realm Eternal. The trickster scowls because the Bifrost hasn't been opened and the gatekeeper has not sent word of a new arrival. He knows the being must have used different means of transportation.

Loki returns to his rooms and is surprised someone is waiting for him inside. Hidden blades slip down his sleeves and magic dances eagerly at his fingertips as he prepares to fight the intruder. As he draws near the shock of blue hair makes his halt. The Luna Diviner's eyes glow eerily in the shadows as he steps forward.

Loki smiles, "Patience. Asgard will fall soon."

~~O~~

When it comes down to the battle against his brother, we're not brothers, on the Bifrost he realizes there was never a chance to win. Fighting for something that was never within reach hurts more than it should but the pain isn't real.

It never was and now it doesn't matter anymore.

Loki yells at Odin, telling him to see what he's done. He only wanted to prove his heart was real but even as he speaks Loki knows he's been fooling himself all along. When he lets go he thinks he will finally find peace among the stars as the Darkness pulls him across the void.