This idea came to suddenly right out of the blue, and I just had to get it written. Although it only started out as a oneshot, I do have more ideas to continue it, so please tell me what you think! :D

Basically, it's sort of set in an AU where the dolls are just normal human girls. There's not much background info in this chapter but if I do continue this there may be more revealed.

Enjoy~! XD

Disclaimer: I don't own Rozen Maiden or any of its characters.


Dartboards and Dates

I'm dead.

Dead.

Sakurada Jun felt a bead of sweat trickle agonisingly slowly down the back of his neck and down his shirt as he sat bolt upright in the chair, hands gripping the rests tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. He dared not even risk the movement of a blink, for there was no telling what horrendous torture would befall him. His eyes watered painfully, and there was an unbearable itch on his shoulder that was causing him immeasurable agony.

Terrified, he stared through tear-blurred vision at the girl standing before him, arms folded across her chest and a look of supreme contempt upon her beautiful face. She reminded him of one of those torturous, sadistic interrogators on crime dramas. He half-expected her to have a whip tucked somewhere in the folds of her black dress.

Suigintou Rozen – the very epitome of a vengeful death angel. If her glare had been a drill, she would have bored a hole through Jun's head and the wall behind him.

Unable to bear it any longer, Jun shifted slightly in his seat, only to freeze in terror as Suigintou's eyelid twitched fractionally. He licked his lips in one swift, nervous movement, and flinched inwardly as the silver-haired girl's eyes narrowed slightly. Wasn't the interrogation of the boyfriend supposed to traditionally be the protective older brother's role? But then, Shinku didn't have an older brother…

Nope, she just has a potentially homicidal older sister…

The silence wore on, heavy and grim with impending doom. After a few moments, Suigintou's eyes narrowed further.

"So."

Jun allowed himself a moment to marvel at Suigintou's uncanny ability to cause his heart to go into cardiac arrest with a single syllable. It was ironic how Shinku also very often made his heart feel as though it had forgotten how to beat, though for the complete opposite reasons. It almost seemed like some sort of a harsh punishment – for having the perfect girlfriend; he had to put up with her murderous, menacing and bitterly jealous sister.

Only unlike in those romance movies, the sister was jealous of him, not for him.

Suigintou took a single step towards him, and he had to fight down an urge to whimper and cringe back in his seat.

It's worth it, Jun told himself frantically, for Shinku, it's worth it…

It just wasn't fair.

After all the effort he'd thrown in trying to convince Shinku to go out him in the first place, when she'd finally said 'yes' to him, he was now faced with an obstacle that dwarfed any he had faced before in trying to secure Shinku – the oldest Rozen sister, Suigintou, the terrifyingly overprotective and ruthless sadist whose love for her younger fifth sister bordered on the incestuous.

"So," Suigintou said again, drawing the word out in one long, slow, menacing leer. "I hear you're taking Shinku to the movies tonight."

Somehow, Jun found the courage to nod wordlessly. The death angel's eyes narrowed even further.

"I-it's a…chick flick…" he stuttered, voice trembling. Suigintou picked up the two scraps of paper lying on the table beside her – the movie tickets.

"Prom Night? Yes. A chick flick." Her voice was dripping with deadly sarcasm. She shot another killer glare at Jun, and read off the back of the ticket. "Donna and her friends must find a way to escape the sadistic rampage of an obsessed killer, and survive a night 'to die for'."

Jun gulped. According to Tomoe's advice, thriller-horror movies about mad axe murderers were the best way to guarantee Shinku would be clinging to his arm and hugging him in girly fear by the end of the night. Of course, then he would whisper with as much manliness as he could muster, the classic line, "Don't worry, I'll protect you…" and then Shinku would look up, murmuring "Oh, Jun…", she would lean in towards him, and then…

The sudden click of the heel of Suigintou's boot on the floor snapped Jun cruelly out of the fantasy that had begun to play in his head. She was approaching him slowly now, like a predator moving in for the kill. Panickedly, Jun wondered where the hell Shinku had got to.

"Oh, just wait a few minutes here, Jun. I have to get ready," the blonde had said when he turned up, ushering him into the enormous sitting room where she'd been with Suigintou. She had then disappeared up the great marble stairs and was somewhere now in the huge Rozen mansion, blissfully unaware of the lethal danger her boyfriend now found himself in.

Please come back NOW, Shinku…Jun pleaded silently, thinking that this was the longest 'few minutes' he'd ever had to wait through. He realised with an overwhelming sense of fear that Suigintou was maintaining her steady death stare with every step she took towards him. Terrified of meeting those violet eyes which were darkened with the very obvious desire of shredding him to pieces, Jun's gaze slid sideways to the cabinet standing against the wall. It was filled with trophies glinting golden under the light of the chandelier.

"Oh," Suigintou noticed his timid movement immediately. "I see you're admiring my prizes."

Jun gulped as she inched closer.

"Uhmm…y-yeah…they're very nice."

Suigintou's lips twisted into a chilling smile, and Jun had to physically restrain himself from standing up and running as fast as his legs could take him in the opposite direction.

"They are, aren't they?" The oldest Rozen girl's cruel grin widened, twisting maliciously to show her teeth. "I'm particularly proud of this one right here – when I won the international darts championship…"

D-darts?

"Yes…they say my accuracy and precision are unmatched – the best in over fifty years…"

An image of the bloodthirsty Rozen girl throwing needle-pointed implements – indeed, the thought of her with anything even remotely sharp in nature, even a pencil, made Jun feel as though his blood had just frozen in his very veins.

"You know, we had to throw out my old dartboard last week, and I haven't had a chance to get a new one…" Suigintou said, tapping her chin thoughtfully. Her violet eyes travelled with deliberate slowness over Jun, coming to rest pointedly on his groin area before flickering away.

"Has Shinku told you that I also do a spot of rifle shooting for leisure? We have a firing range right here on the mansion grounds…a pity we have only a few targets, though. I shall also have to get more of those…"

New dartboard.

Rifle shooting target.

The message rang as loud and clear as a death sentence could.

He did not need to be told directly to understand what was being implied. The silver-haired avenger standing before Jun leaned forward and grabbed his collar, jerking his face right up close to hers.

"You listen carefully, mister," Suigintou hissed. "Try anything…funny…tonight and you may find yourself missing parts when we next meet…"

Her eyes trailed inevitably down to his crotch area again – the very source of her anguish – before snapping back to lock her icy glare back on his face.

"Got that, punk?"

He nodded as furiously as his position would let him, and Suigintou released him viciously.

"Jun, I'm ready to go!"

He breathed a deep sigh of relief, feeling as if the weight of a thousand tonnes had just been lifted on his shoulders as Shinku appeared at last, coming up from behind Suigintou.

Thank god…

The minute the blonde entered the room, Suigintou's expression underwent a full transformation from a blood-thirsty, terrifying she-devil into a look of soft and tender adoration.

"Have you two been getting along?" Shinku eyed her older sister curiously. Suigintou beamed and clapped Jun on the back, perhaps a little harder than was really needed.

"Like two happy peas in our cosy little pod!" she said brightly. Jun coughed and spluttered as he felt her nails digging into his shoulder.

"Uhhh…yeah, we really…hit it off…"

At this, a smile lit up Shinku's face, and Jun was able to truly believe for a moment that it really was all worth it.

She's an angel from the heavens, that girl…a godsend…tears threatened to prickle his eyes.

But then, of course, a sharp sting shot through his arm and Suigintou's fingers dug even deeper into his flesh; the hairs on the back of his neck stood rigid as he became painfully aware of a dark killing intent building up behind him. Shinku, however, seemed oblivious to all this, and took Jun's hand almost shyly, a faint blush sprinkled across her pale cheeks. Behind him, Suigintou let her breath out in a sharp, faint low hiss.

"Come along, then. We haven't got all night," said Shinku, trying to sound as commanding as she usually was, instead of as flustered as she looked. She dragged Jun along behind her.

"Bye, Suigintou!"

"Remember not to come home too late, Shinku! And…have…have a nice time!" Suigintou's last words seemed to have been forced out with great effort on her part. As Shinku pulled him away, Jun dared to glance back at the older Rozen. Her expression, now that her younger sister was not looking in her direction, had rearranged itself into a wrath-filled mask of cold fury, her eyes glinting icily like two hard amethysts.

A shiver ran down his spine as he watched Suigintou mouth at him,

New.

Dartboard.

There was no mistaking those words formed soundlessly on her lips.

As if that wasn't sufficiently threatening, she slowly mimicked cocking a gun and aiming it. Jun eyes travelled inadvertently to the rifle that hung on the wall beside Suigintou's trophy cabinet. When he next glanced back at Suigintou, the hungrily demonic look on her face suggested she was thinking of all the ways she could blow his head off with it.

"Jun? What's wrong?"

He turned to see Shinku staring at him.

"Er…hehe, oh it's nothing…just a bit…nervous, I guess."

She gave him a rare, radiant smile that was slightly dizzying.

"Let's enjoy ourselves, shall we?"

And though he could feel a deathly glare burning two holes in the back of his head, Jun smiled wryly and slipped his hand in Shinku's.

They say that for love, there is no price too great to pay.


Thanks for reading~! :3

Please review and tell me what you think. Maybe I'll continue? :D