Annabelle drove down the road, lined with weeping willows and impressions of palm trees. One hand on the steering wheel, her other hand flowing in the air in the motion of a wave. She drove into the little town to which she was headed, strolling into a small corner store, throwing back her long hair, smoothing it out from the ride in the convertible. As she walked into the small store, her eyes immediately darted to the selection of cigarettes, and she mentally chose the players light regular. She saw a box of horoscope papers from the corner of her eye, and when she went to get one, she saw today's newspaper…
'NO CHARGES TO BE FILED IN STUDENT/TEACHER SEX SCANDAL'
She picked it up, staring wide-eyed at the article with a flowing smile.
No charges.
Safe.
Not in trouble.
It had been two months. An entire 60 days since she had seen Simone. She had gone to court for her, but never with her. She e-mailed her, and wrote to her, and received only one reply, which was from some guy from the government: "Come when you are 18."
Only a week ago she had turned that age. She was legal, and Simone was safe. She wasn't going to jail, or paying any money. She had to see her. To hold her.
Tell her she still loved her.
She quickly tore out the newspaper article and tucked it safely in her army-skirt pocket. She looked at the box of horoscopes and decided to grab Simone's as well, as well as her favourite chocolate bar.
She was going to see her Simone.
"No charges, you are dismissed." Clunk.
No charges… it was over. Simone looked at her lawyer, who smiled at her and nodded. Tears sprang to life as the realisation hit her. It had been an entire two months since she had been fighting in court. Two months alone in an apartment rented out by her aunt. Two months since she had been to the school…
Two months since she had seen Annabelle.
Well… she had seen her walking out of court occasionally, but the people escorting her made sure that she was well out of sight. Those nights, she cried. She curled up, alone, in her bed, remembering Annabelle. Now, when she saw her, she could smile. She wouldn't have people dragging her away. She could go see her…
"MS. BRADLEY!"
She blinked and looked up at the Judge, who was motioning for her to approach. She stood up on weak legs and kept on a blank face, but the brightness in her dark blue eyes was unmistakeable.
"Yes?" She asked, head bowed.
"There are some things we need to discuss…"
Simone's head snapped up. She was now staring at the Judge with the same fear she had thrown at Annabelle the day she was being taken away by the police. The Judge looked down upon her sympathetically.
"You have to understand,… we can't let you go see Annabelle." She started, almost wincing as Simone tried to straighten her back in attempt to look professional.
"What are you saying?" She asked, her voice flat and wispy.
"We will call her to tell her about the situation, if you want. It will be her decision whether to see you again or not, not yours."
Simone's head nearly burst with relief. She was sure that she was about to be restricted from ever seeing Annabelle again… but she was 18 now.
An official adult, and her own person.
"I understand. Please do call her, and give her my address as well. The house that my parents gave me, by the water…" Simone had to remember to breathe. Her voice was quiet and airy, but she didn't have the power to make it stronger.
"We will. Goodbye Ms. Bradley, you are officially dismissed." Clunk.
She felt a vibration on her stomach, and quickly reached for the phone inside her pocket.
Private number.
"Hello?" She said, looking around the empty corner store.
"Annabelle, this is the Judge that was in charge of Ms. Bradley's case."
Annabelle gripped the table in anticipation. "What do you want?" She asked. On the other end of the line, she snorted. "We need to discuss something. Regarding Ms. Bradley." Annabelle rolled her eyes. No shit.
"What do we need to discuss?" She asked, putting extra emphasis on the last word.
"Simone has been restricted to see you-"
"WHAT?!" Her nails were biting into the wood now, scraping the finish.
"UNLESS…" The Judge continued firmly, ignoring the sudden outburst. "You wish to see her."
Annabelle sighed in relief, releasing her death drip on the counter.
"You are 18, so you are aloud to see her if you want, but she is not aloud to talk, see, or make any contact with you without your permission." She explained.
"That's fucking ridiculous. Of course I want to see her. How long has she known this? Where is she?"
"She found out yesterday. Here, I will give you her address…" Annabelle scribbled the address on her hand, and recognized it as the house by the beach.
"Do you need directions?" The Judge asked.
"No thanks. I know where it is; by the beach, right?"
"I believe so."
Annabelle smiled to herself before continuing.
"Hey… thanks for clearing her."
The Judge was silent for a minute, obviously unsure on what to say.
"You're very welcome Annabelle. Goodbye."
And with that, the line went dead.
Annabelle closed her cell phone and thrust it into her pocket. Picking up her bag she ran out the door.
The sand was warm beneath her feet… just like a year ago. As Simone walked along the beach, all of the 'what ifs' that had built up over the past two months hit her.
What if she didn't get the phone call?
What if she moved?
What if she gave up on her?
What if she didn't want her?
…
What if she didn't love Simone anymore?
Tears threatened, but she held them back. It was so plausible. Annabelle was young, only 18. She could have easily fallen in love with someone else, someone younger…
Simone dropped to the ground, pants getting drenched by the wet sand and the water sipping up and down on the shore. The landscape, beautiful as it was with a setting sun and pink skies, was blurred by Simone's tears. She sat, facing the water, arms wrapping loosely around her bent knees. She let out a sigh, closing her blood-shot eyes, taking a deep breath through her nose.
This was just proof… this feeling of uncertainty. It was proof that Annabelle had got her.
She loved her.
Finally, she opened her eyes and pushed herself up, walking towards her house. She wrapped her arms around herself as she walked, looking around at the familiar place. She had missed it… the house her parents had given her, the breeze in her blonde curls, which were blowing softly behind her.
When she reached the house, she dropped onto the couch, but something caught her eye. A crumpled piece of paper, lying discarded on the floor…
A single tear escaped from her eye and slid down her cheek as she stood and picked it up, and a memory came to life…
"You had no right to read that letter!" Simone growled, staring at Annabelle in disbelief.
"I'm sorry I read the letter but you can't run away from this!" Annabelle said quickly.
"Bullshit!" She tried to make it sound powerful.. But she couldn't.
Annabelle reached her arms up around her neck, but she swatted them away.
"No, look I don't want to talk about it!" She told her, but Annabelle persisted.
"You don't have to talk about it." She pulled Simone a little closer.
"Let me go!" Simone pleaded, batting away her hands.
"You don't have to talk about it!" Finally, Annabelle got her grip on Simone.
"Let me go…" Simone grunted, fighting against her.
"I'm not letting you go…" She whispered.
"Annabelle!"
"I'm not letting go…I'm not letting you go…"
And she didn't… and Simone didn't want her to anymore…
Even more tears came streaming down Simone's face as she remembered. She toyed with the beads that Annabelle had given her the last time they had seen each other… 'Please still want me…' she begged to herself. 'Please, still love me…'
Hand weaving through the air once more, Annabelle sped towards the place she had secretly visited on a regular basis. She remembered the spring break that she spent with Simone so well. She remembered everything… every single fucking detail.
Simone went to court… and had taken her heart with her. She took the steering wheel with the hand that she had been passing through the air to rummage through the papers on the passenger seat with the other. She found what she wanted quickly; she always kept it close.
Out of the corner of her eye, she stared into the black and white picture of Simone. Staring out at the sea, her face was serious, her blonde curls flowing gracefully. Back when she tried to push her away. Annabelle chuckled; she wished she hadn't tried.
She concentrated back on the road, and less than five minutes later, she reached her destination. She pulled the car to a stop in front of the cement steps that lead down to the beach. Scrutinizing her face in her mirror, she fixed a few strands of hair before opening the car door. It was when she closed it that all of the bad things that could happen rushed in.
What is Simone hated her?
She made her lose her job, go to court, leave the one place she ever had to remember Amanda… why wouldn't she hate her?
What if she had someone else?
What if she didn't love her anymore?
Annabelle smiled weakly. She won her last time… she would do it again.
She would do anything.
She practically leaped down the steps, anticipation gripping at her. She broke out into a full run, her long blonde-streaked brown hair flying behind her. She tore down the beach, feeling the wind at her face, and then came to an abrupt stop. She saw the house; she was right in front of it. She stepped soundlessly up to the porch, and looked through the window… no one in the main room. Annabelle felt panic grip her as she spun around, searching for the blonde curls and blue eyes. Finally, she spotted her.
Cacki green capris, white tank top… the ones she knew only too well. Sitting on a huge rock, overlooking the sea. She looked calm, angelic even, curls bouncing around at the nape of her neck, eyes distant. Annabelle walked towards her, hands spread out at her sides, careful not to make a sound, afraid that if she did, Simone would disappear. She reached the bottom of the rock, and Simone had still not come to the realisation that she was there.
Her palms sweating, the wiped them on her skirt, and took a deep, silent breath. "Simone…"
Blond curls whipped around, and dark blue eyes met light blue. Simone took a deep, shaky breath, and put her hand on the rock to steady herself. Annabelle sucked in the most air she could without gasping, and put on her usual grin, raising her eyebrows. Simone's jaw fell slightly ajar, and when she finally learned to speak again, all she could say was: "Annabelle…"
Annabelle almost frowned. Was she not wanted? Did Simone want her to leave? She took a cautious step back, hurt shining through her eyes. Simone almost panicked, reaching her hand out instinctively, "No!" She gasped. Annabelle stopped dead in her tracks, looking up at her hopefully. "No, please… no…"
Annabelle had almost left. She didn't want to be here. She came for closure.
Just like Amanda's letter had come for closure. She wanted to beg Annabelle to stay, to hold her again. Instead she just held out her hand and stared at her, her eyes brimming with tears. She slid down the rock, landing on weak legs once again. Annabelle looked at her calmly, hair whipping around her face. "I-I…" Simone couldn't manage to form a sentence! She didn't know what to say…
"I won't leave."
Simone's eyes shot even wider than they were before. "I don't care what you say… I won't leave." Annabelle said again, determined. "Why… why would I want you to leave?" She asked, cocking her head to the side, automatically bringing her hand up to the beads around her neck. Two tears slipped out.
Annabelle reacted instantly, walking forward and reaching out her hand, wiping away the tears that had fallen from Simone's eyes. Simone reached up and grabbed her hand firmly, holding it there. She closed her eyes and leaned into Annabelle's palm, sighing deeply. "Don't you hate me?" Annabelle asked. Simone let out an airy chuckle, shaking her head, rubbing her cheek even deeper into Annabelle's hand. "Don't you hate me for screwing up your life?" Annabelle demanded, tears threatening, for once. Simone continued to shake her head, then reached out and wrapped her arms around Annabelle's neck, holding tightly. Annabelle didn't waste a second in wrapping her own arms around Simone's waste, kissing her head. "You only made my life better…" Simone whispered into her neck, bringing her arms in front of her chest, cuddling into Annabelle. Annabelle held her tighter, and took the plunge…
"I love you."
Simone sobbed, shaking in Annabelle's arms as tears from two months poured down her cheeks. She gripped her shirt, pulling her even closer. "Simone…" Annabelle whispered, comforting. Simone looked up into her eyes, filled with uncertainty. "I- I love you. I thought you'd leave, I- I love you so much…" And with that all knowledge of speech left her as Annabelle pressed her lips against hers, pulling her closer by her back. Simone gripped the back of her neck, meeting her head on, caging her sobs.
And all questions were answered… all 'what ifs' blown away…
They were Simone and Annabelle all over again. And Simone knew that no matter how much she had loved Amanda… she never came close. Never came anywhere near her
Annabelle.
