This fic will be mostly humorous, but not entirely, because it's supposed to make you better understand Chazz. Hope you enjoy!
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Chazz woke up to the alarm clock blaring in his ear. Oh, but it wasn't the alarm. It was the radio. And it was playing his least favorite song.
"Smack that, all on the floor,
Smack that, gimme some more,
Smack that, 'til you get sore,
Smack that, ohhhhhh…." Akon screamed in his ear.
"Oh, hell, no." Chazz moaned, trying to shut it up. "Please stop!"
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
"I'm coming!" He screamed as someone pounded mercilessly on his door.
He made an attempt to get out of bed, but tripped, all tangled in the sheets, and fell in a crumpled heap onto the floor.
BANG!!! BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
The first bang this time was the sound of Chazz crashing into the nightstand, then the floor. The lamp toppled down, smashing into a zillion pieces.
He stumbled to his feet, then stepped on a shard. "OWWWWW!!!!"
BANG
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
"SMACK THAT, ALL ON THE FLOOR,
SMACK THAT, GIMME SOME MORE,
SMACK THAT, 'TIL YOU GET SORE,
SMACK THAT, OHHHHHH"
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
"HEY, BOSS, WHATCHA DOING? HUH, BOSS, HUH? HEY, LET'S PLAY A GAME!"
BANG BANG "CHAZZ, ARE YOU IN THERE?"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" Chazz screamed over the chaos, "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! ALL OF YOU SHUT UP! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!"
He dove back into the sheets, his foot bleeding, as well as his ears. He pulled the pillow over his head. "Dear God, if you love me, then kill me now."
"CHAZZ, ARE YOU BEING AN EMO AGAIN?" came a female voice from behind the door, "HURRY UP! YOU'RE LATE!"
"NOOOOOOOOOO! Not again…"
Sighing, he finally figured out how to shut off the alarm and went over to the door and opened it. "Whaddya want?"
Alexis scowled at him. "Is that any way to present yourself?"
"What do ya mean?"
She pointed, a red streak appearing across her cheeks.
He looked down and screamed. He was wearing his favorite boxers, the ones with pokemon all over them. Pikachu and Squirtle smiled fondly up at him.
"A-Alexis…it's not…"
"Save it. Just get dressed and come on."
He hung his head and slunk, defeated, into his bathroom.
"My life sucks. Everybody thinks I'm an emo. Why do they make fun of emos, anyway? There's nothing funny about it. I understand them…" he muttered, "Besides, I'm not an emo…am I? I hope not. I only cut sometimes…can't anyone see that I only wanna be loved? Why can't they just understand?"
"I understand!" Atticus hopped out of the cabinet.
Chazz screamed. "Atticus, don't do that! I'm trying to get dressed!"
Atticus sat cross legged on the floor. "Chazz, it's Ok. Don't get so down. I love you the way you are. You're my friend, and I'll always be here for you. Oh, and you're only the slightest bit emo." He paused and thought about this for a moment, before admitting, "Well, maybe more than slightly."
Chazz groaned. "Not now, Atticus."
"Please, call me Atty."
"Uh, no thanks. That sounds gay."
Atticus laughed. "No, no, no, it's not supposed to sound like that. It's the name my fans use."
"Your fangirls," Chazz muttered, pulling the shard of the lamp out of his foot.
"Ouch. You should disinfect that."
"I know what I'm doing!" Chazz snapped.
"O-kay. Yeesh, Chazzy, you don't hafta get so worked up over it."
"Whatever."
Now in a foul mood, Chazz stormed out and down to the classroom. Atticus followed, singing his favorite song.
"Smack that, all on the floor,
Smack that, gimme some more,
Smack that, 'til you get sore,
Smack that, ohhhhhh"
Chazz turned, fuming. "SHUT UP! I HATE that song. If you're gonna sing, which I suggest you don't, 'cause you suck, then sing something else."
"Okey-doke.
I'm bringin' sexy back (yeah)
Them other boys don't know how to act (yeah)
I think it's special what's behind your back (yeah)
So turn around and let me pick up the side (yeah)
TAKE IT TO THE BRIDGE
Dirty babe (uh-huh)
You see these shackles baby, I'm your slave (uh-huh)
I'll let you whip me if I misbehave (Uh-huh)
It's just that no one makes me feel this way (uh-huh)
TAKE IT TO THE--"
"SHUT UP!"
"Sowwy," Atticus whined.
"Argh, will no one--"
"Hey, Chazz, wanna duel?" Jaden called.
"No, I'm late for class and what the hell are you doing--"
"Ok, get your game on!"
"Not with you!" Chazz shrieked in disgust.
"I wanna get my game on!" Atticus yelled.
"OMG!" Jasmine yelled to her group of obelisk-blue girls, but also to the entire schoolyard, "Chazz and Jaden are going out!"
"No, that's not what--" Chazz and Jaden began.
"OMG! They're talking at the SAME time. Like, that must mean they're, like, totally soulmates or something."
"EWWWW!" Chazz whimpered.
"Jas, YOU like yaoi?" Alexis gasped.
"No, I like to gossip. And boy is this hitting front page of the school newspaper!"
She snapped a few pictures. "Mindy! Run this down to the office! I want this story in by this afternoon."
Chazz grimaced as the brunette took off.
"Hey, boss, you always have me, right?"
"Shut up, you annoying yellow gremlin! I hate you with every fiber of my--"
Alexis slapped him. "Chazz, don't talk to me like that! You're so rude!"
"But, I--"
"Come on…" Atticus said, "we're late for class."
"No, we're not." Jasmine said, wrinkling her nose.
"But, Alexis told me…" Chazz began.
"You're late for your duel with Jaden," Alexis snapped, "You promised him yesterday when he asked, remember?"
"Oh, uh, I--"
"DUEL!" Shouted Jaden, "First, I summon Elemental Hero Bubbleman to the field. Then, since he's out alone, I can draw two more cards…Sweetness! I play Bubble Blaster. This gives Bubbleman 800 more attack points! Now, I play a face down."
Chazz moaned. After several turns, though, he managed to get his Armed Dragon level 10 out. By then, he was feeling pretty cocky.
"Get ready to lose, slacker," he smirked, "I play Trap Booster from my hand so I can attach Ring of Destruction to my dragon."
He was about to activate his Ring of Defense when Jaden interrupted.
"I play Negate Trap!"
"NOOOOO!"
"And now, I play Limited Removal, which gives Flame Wingman twice the attack points."
Chazz watched in dismay as Jaden destroyed his monster.
"Of course, don't forget the Wingman's superpower! Now, you
take damage equal to your monster's attack points to your life
points!"
"NOOOOO!" Chazz screamed as his life points hit
zero.
No one was surprised to say the least. A few gave him pitying looks as they headed for the classroom. This was going to be one sucky day.
"Good morning, class," Professor Banner said smiling, "Today, we have a test. I hope you all studied."
"Oh, s#$" Chazz muttered under his breath.
"What was that?" a girl sitting in front of him asked, scowling, "Professor, Chazz just cussed at me!"
"But, I--"
The Professor frowned. "Chazz, you know my policy on cussing. Detention."
"Cool, we have detention together!" Jaden said enthusiastically.
"NOOOOO!!" Chazz screamed for the fiftieth time that day.
"SHUT UP, PRINCETON!!!"
He groaned as the tests were passed out. He took one look at his paper and almost died.
"Crap! I forgot to study! And I don't know any of this!"
He chewed nervously on his pencil until it broke. When he got up to sharpen it, he just happened to look at Alexis.
"She's so hot," he thought, blushing, "I really wish I could go out with her. Maybe sneak a kiss…"
He blushed redder as a string of nasty thoughts entered his mind. "No, no, no, no, no," he thought, trying to block it out, "I don't wanna think about her like that…and I'm wearing tight pants!"
"Professor!" Alexis called, "Chazz is looking at my paper!"
"Chazz, you know what that means. I'm sorry, but I'll have to give you a zero."
"I wasn't looking at her paper, I swear!"
"He's already a liar, now he swears too!" a random obelisk kid piped up, "Man, you're a loser!"
"Not to mention he can't win a single duel!" a girl laughed.
"You're a second rate duelist with a third rate deck!" Someone scoffed, reminiscent of Kaiba.
"AHHHH!" Chazz ran out of the room.
"Chazz, come back here!" the Professor yelled. "Oh, Chazz, if you don't, I'm afraid I'll have to call your parents."
Chazz didn't hear him. He was already halfway to the bathroom. He raced in and slammed into Harrington.
"Dude, outta my way!" Harrington shouted, "Look what you made me do!"
Chazz blushed. "Sorry!"
"Oh, so now what? Are you trying to rape me 'cause you're gay? Yeah, that's right, boy. I heard all about you."
Chazz shook his head wildly. "No, it was an accident!"
"Yeah, right," Harrington laughed, "Outta my way, Princeton. Oh, and, just so you don't get any ideas, Alexis is mine."
He shoved Chazz into a toilet and flushed.
"Hey, boss, I just….BOSS!!!"
Chazz pulled his dripping head out. "Don't…say…a…word."
He ran out into the hall, to go back to his room so he could shower. Unfortunately, he saw the Chancellor.
"Oh, crap, if he sees me out here without a pass…"
Chazz tried to go back into the bathroom. In his panic, he rushed into the girls' room.
"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" someone screamed.
"EWWWWWWWWWW! It's a boy!"
"AWWW, NOOOOOOO, IT'S CHAZZ
PRINCETON!!!"
"CHAZZY?!!!! YAY!!"
"CHAZZ PRINCETON, YOU PERVERT!"
FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH FLASH
Camera phones went off, capturing him dripping wet with toilet water, standing in the middle of the girls' bathroom.
"NOOOOO!!" He tried to run out, but was temporarily blinded by all the flashed and ran face first into the wall, resulting in a nose bleed.
"EEWWW!" Alexis smacked him.
"WAHHH! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO…."
"CHANCELLOR SHEPHERD!!!!!"
Needless to say, he got in a lot of trouble.
That afternoon, he sat in detention, awaiting his parents' arrival. He began to doodle a picture of Alexis. Dr. Crowler peered over his shoulder.
"Mr. Princeton, I suggest you refrain from drawing such, such, atrocious, and offensive, pictures."
"WHAT?!" He looked down and almost died. "I-I-I didn't mean--"
"Tell that to your parents, Mr. Princeton."
He stared down at the picture of Alexis in her underwear. "Why me?"
"What's that?"
Jaden leaned over. His eyes widened.
"CHAZZ..." he gasped.
"Aww, man, it never ends…"
"Can I have it?" Jaden whispered.
"Uhh, sure…" Chazz suddenly smirked, realizing the opportunity to get Jaden in trouble.
Before he could say anything though, the Chancellor walked in.
"Chazz, I think--HOLY S#$!!!! Obelisk the Tormentor, what's that?!"
"Chazz drew it!" Jaden said quickly.
"CHAZZ PRINCETON!!" the Chancellor said in horror, "The nerve of you! Well, your parents will deal with you. For the time being though, I will properly confiscate this."
He slipped the picture in his jacket when no one was looking, smirking, a giant stream of blood pouring from his nose. "Finally…."
"He's a PERVERT!" Chazz gasped.
The Chancellor froze, then turned, his face red with anger. "Chazz Princeton, I hereby suspend you for talking to your superiors in such a manner!"
"NOOOOO!!!! I didn't mean…"
"Sorry, bro. Hey, wanna duel again?"
"NOOOO!!!"
Chazz ran back to his dorm to pack his things. Exhausted, he toppled on his bed and had just started to fall asleep when:
"YAY! PARTY!"
About a thousand duel monster spirits appeared, with little hats and drinks.
"WHAT THE--"
"Hey, boss, hope you don't mind a little party in your honor!" Ojama Yellow giggled.
"In my honor? HA! Get your stupid, imaginary asses out of here. I'm trying to sleep!"
The duel monsters crowded around him, shrieking, screaming, laughing, and singing.
"SMACK THAT, ALL ON THE FLOOR,
SMACK THAT, GIMME SOME MORE,
SMACK THAT, 'TIL YOU GET SORE,
SMACK THAT, OHHHHHHH"
"SHUT UUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!!!"
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
"Oh, what NOW?!"
"Disciplinary Action Committee, OPEN UP!"
"NOOOO!!!!!!"
"Your parents are with us…"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!"
"Hey, boss, wanna pin the tail on the--"
"I don't wanna pin the tail on anything but your ass! Get the hell outta here!"
"THAT'S IT!" The door busted down.
"Chazz," his mother gasped, staring at the red stain on the floor from that morning. "Quick, we have to get him to a psychologist!"
"No, not again!" he whined, "Mom, you always take me to the shrink!"
"And it never does any good," his father said.
"To the asylum!" The Disciplinary Action Committee shouted.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" he screamed, "The Duel Monsters did
it!"
Everyone stared at him for a moment. Then:
"Straight-jacket him!"
"But, I--"
"Chazz, you haven't been taking your medicine have you?" his father asked.
"Um, well, I--"
"My poor baby's an emo!" His mother cried.
As they dragged him out, he bumped into his brothers.
"Get ready for a family reunion," Slade smirked.
"Yeah, because you're gonna be home for a very long time."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!"
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XDDDDDDDD Poor Chazz. I'm so wicked to him. It's Ok, Chazz, you're gonna make it. Anyway, I hope you liked! Please RxR : )
