Okay, this is my first Twilight fic…I really hope it doesn't fail…It's gonna be an attempt at humor, but it's probably gonna suck…I got this idea from a little argument me and my friend had…I'm Team Jacob, he completely disagrees. So yeah. It's just some random stupid chat thing that would never happen…Anyways…Story-time!

I do not own Twilight and I'm sorry if they're OOC…


Jacob Black has entered the chatroom

Edward Cullen has entered the chatroom.

Jacob: Eww a vampire…

Edward: Eww a filthy mutt…

Jacob: Fuck you, Cullen.

Edward: I'd really rather not.

Jacob: Good.

Edward: I saw you talking to Bella today.

Jacob: Is that a problem?

Edward: Yes. It is, actually.

Jacob: Overprotective blood-sucker.

Edward: At least I don't smell like dog.

Jacob: Get over yourself, you know Bella loves me more than you.

Edward: She does not.

Jacob: *pfft* yeah she does

Edward: No she does not. She loves me and you know it.

Jacob: Sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night…Oh, wait…You don't sleep…

Edward: She loves me more. End of discussion.

Jacob: If you're so sure, why get so defensive about it?

Edward: Because I can't stand letting half-wits think they're right.

Jacob: Whatever floats your boat…And I don't think I'm right, I know I'm right.

Edward. Just keep thinking that, Jacob…

Jacob: You know werewolves are better.

Edward: Oh? And how do you figure that?

Jacob: I'm bigger than you.

Edward: So? That makes you better?

Jacob: I can kick your ass.

Edward: You'll have to catch me first.

Jacob: I can.

Edward: Sure you can.

Jacob: And werewolves are better than vampires.

Edward: How is that?

Jacob: Vampires starts with a "V" and werewolf starts with a "W." A "W" looks like two "V"s put together, so werewolves must be twice as awesome.

Edward: Really?

Jacob: Really.

Edward: You're such an idiot…

Jacob: At least I'm not a stalker-snob.

Edward: Excuse me?

Jacob: You heard me.

Edward: And you're not a stalker?

Jacob: I didn't sneak into her room to watch her sleep before we were dating.

Edward: You're not dating. You never were dating.

Jacob: And how do you know that? You were gone.

Edward: I am not a stalker.

Jacob: Whatever makes you feel better…

Edward: Jacob, we both know she loves me more.

Jacob: She doesn't.

Edward: She does.

Jacob: Even if she does love you more, I'm still sexier.

Edward: …Must I even respond to that?

Jacob: Yes. You know it's true.

Edward: …I'm just going to log off now…This conversation has become so childish and immature…

Edward Cullen has logged off

Jacob: Fine. Be like that. You're just mad cuz you know it's true.

Jacob Black has logged off


So there you go. The stupidest and most retarded chat conversation ever. I'm aware that I would never happen, but I still thought it would be kind of funny…Please review!

--Fire wolf12

(Team Jacob all the way! :D)