YOU ATE RENESMEE?

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED IS NO WHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS THE REAL THING CHARACTERS USED IN FAIR USE! PLEASE DON'T SEW ME SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT/STEPHANIE MEYER

Bella: How could you *gasps over dramatically while pretending to be shocked*

Edward: I knew I should have killed you when I had the chance! *Snarls angrily at Jacob*

Jacob: What I got a little bit peckish no biggie!

Rosalie: I knew we shouldn't have let the mutt into the house!

Bella: hey don't call him that!

Rosalie: he just ate MY baby

Edward & Bella: Excuse Me

Rosalie: sorry *corrects her self* he just ate Renesmee

Edward &Bella: *roll their eyes*

Rosalie: Bella are you not going to say anything at all?

Bella: your right Rosalie…Jacob you really need to take up weight lifting your six pack has really gotten out of shape!

Jacob: Really Bells, you must really help me work out sometime *thinks: this will really annoy the bloodsucker *

Edward: *growls jealously while reading Jacobs thoughts *

Bella: *realises she's upset Edward* oh darling I'm so sorry *thinks to herself: stupid control freak I knew I should have gone with Jacob! *

Edward: Rosalie, Bella, bring Renesmee upstairs this between me and Jacob!

Bella: oh pu-lease

Jacob: *continues thinking about Bella to annoy Edward*

Rosalie: come on Renesmee darling lets go to Japan go get Emmett and tell him to start packing!

Bella: you crazy *****, Renesmee stay here don't go anywhere with that chimp!

Random dude walking past: is Renesmee not supposed to be eaten?

Everyone: yeah what's with that?

Jacob: * blushes: embarssed*

Renesmee: *touches bella's cheek to tell her what REALLY happened*(uhh dundundun)

Bella: oh Jacob what's with you * I definitely should have gone with Jacob edward would never have had the guts to do something like this*

Jacob: sorry bells the doc really pissed me off!

Edward: *reaches boiling point*you killed carlise,thats it for you mutt say your prayers

Jacob: in the name of the father and the on and the holy spirit amen....

Edward: *attacks Jacob*

Everyone else: *gets popcorn and watches fight*

Emmett: why are we eating popcorn?

Everyone else (Rosalie, Bella, Emmett and Renesmee): good point lets go eat some gullible humans!

Bella: oh wait, were vegetarians remember… ahh who gives a damn! I call I get Mike Newton!

Renesmee: but mommy i wanted to eat mike newton:(

Bella: oh pu-lease renesmee you don't even have any venom

Rosalie :don't talk to her like that

Bella :and just who are you to tell me how and how not to speak to MY daughter?huh

Emmett: now ladies calm down i know im just to sexy to be legal but thats no reason to fight over me , you can both take your turns,bella what day do you want me?

Renesmee: oh don't get all excited,my mommy's in love with my daddy or at least i think she is the last time i checked....hmmm*looking thoughtfull for a 1year old*now are we going hunting or not?

everyone bar edward&jacob: yep,yep-yup

Edward & Jacob: *still trying to kill each other and failing miserably*

Alice & Jasper: *walk in* hey where's everybody gone?

Alice & Jasper: *see Edward and Jacob fighting* guys why are you fighting?

Edward & Jacob: (between puffs) he ate Carlisle, I may have just eaten him a tiny bit!

Alice & Jasper: you stupid mutt!

Esme: what oh my god! But Jacob is barley a child? What on earth? I don't understand why would anyone want to kill Carlisle? Everybody loves Carlisle? *Starts jabbering on "Carlisle no not Carlisle" etc*

Jacob: *finally shrugged off Edward* I am still here you know!

Edward: oh we couldn't not know, the stink of dog shit is driving me crazy!

Alice & Jasper: was that what that was?

Jacob: how comes the bloodsucker who looks like he's always constipated cant speak for himself?

Alice: *whispers* he's a little insecure! he was bullied in his human life about being gay, but when he became a vampire I turned him straight and lets face it have you ever cameacross a gay vampire? Don't think so!

Jasper: I am still here you know!

Jacob: stop copying my line bloodsucker!

Alice: omg Jasper you spoke! Yeyyy! this calls for party everyone is invited!…oh hey wait a minute where is everyone else?

Edward : they've gone hunting

Jacob: who asked you bloodsucker?

Edward: ehh alice,and anyway who invited you dog?

Alice : I did ,stop being mean Edward,seriously I dread to think how suicidle you would have been in your past life, you make nursing homes look like las vegas!

Edward : im going to go stalk Bella!

Alice: that just leave's us, Jacob, Jasper you guys up for a party?

Jacob:yep yep nothing better to do

Jasper: no comment

Alice: Esme you in?

Esme: oh my god carlise carlise it's not happing *crying whitout tears as vampires do*

Alice: well that counts her out! Lets get the party started! Three's enough for a party right guy's?

Jacob & Jasper: *walk off into the distance*

Alice: damn such part poopers*sulks on the floor*

Random guy walking past: hmmph guess it's true vampires CANT have fun!


hey guys,guess thats the end of chapter 1

so let me know what you guys think of it (coz i think it's pretty damn good:):P)

R&R you know you want too:P

byeeee

mizz edward cullen97......SIGNING OUT:)

PEACE 2 DA PEOPLES AND ALLxxx luvin u's:P