YOU ATE RENESMEE?
NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED IS NO WHERE NEAR AS GOOD AS THE REAL THING CHARACTERS USED IN FAIR USE! PLEASE DON'T SEW ME SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT/STEPHANIE MEYER
Bella: How could you *gasps over dramatically while pretending to be shocked*
Edward: I knew I should have killed you when I had the chance! *Snarls angrily at Jacob*
Jacob: What I got a little bit peckish no biggie!
Rosalie: I knew we shouldn't have let the mutt into the house!
Bella: hey don't call him that!
Rosalie: he just ate MY baby
Edward & Bella: Excuse Me
Rosalie: sorry *corrects her self* he just ate Renesmee
Edward &Bella: *roll their eyes*
Rosalie: Bella are you not going to say anything at all?
Bella: your right Rosalie…Jacob you really need to take up weight lifting your six pack has really gotten out of shape!
Jacob: Really Bells, you must really help me work out sometime *thinks: this will really annoy the bloodsucker *
Edward: *growls jealously while reading Jacobs thoughts *
Bella: *realises she's upset Edward* oh darling I'm so sorry *thinks to herself: stupid control freak I knew I should have gone with Jacob! *
Edward: Rosalie, Bella, bring Renesmee upstairs this between me and Jacob!
Bella: oh pu-lease
Jacob: *continues thinking about Bella to annoy Edward*
Rosalie: come on Renesmee darling lets go to Japan go get Emmett and tell him to start packing!
Bella: you crazy *****, Renesmee stay here don't go anywhere with that chimp!
Random dude walking past: is Renesmee not supposed to be eaten?
Everyone: yeah what's with that?
Jacob: * blushes: embarssed*
Renesmee: *touches bella's cheek to tell her what REALLY happened*(uhh dundundun)
Bella: oh Jacob what's with you * I definitely should have gone with Jacob edward would never have had the guts to do something like this*
Jacob: sorry bells the doc really pissed me off!
Edward: *reaches boiling point*you killed carlise,thats it for you mutt say your prayers
Jacob: in the name of the father and the on and the holy spirit amen....
Edward: *attacks Jacob*
Everyone else: *gets popcorn and watches fight*
Emmett: why are we eating popcorn?
Everyone else (Rosalie, Bella, Emmett and Renesmee): good point lets go eat some gullible humans!
Bella: oh wait, were vegetarians remember… ahh who gives a damn! I call I get Mike Newton!
Renesmee: but mommy i wanted to eat mike newton:(
Bella: oh pu-lease renesmee you don't even have any venom
Rosalie :don't talk to her like that
Bella :and just who are you to tell me how and how not to speak to MY daughter?huh
Emmett: now ladies calm down i know im just to sexy to be legal but thats no reason to fight over me , you can both take your turns,bella what day do you want me?
Renesmee: oh don't get all excited,my mommy's in love with my daddy or at least i think she is the last time i checked....hmmm*looking thoughtfull for a 1year old*now are we going hunting or not?
everyone bar edward&jacob: yep,yep-yup
Edward & Jacob: *still trying to kill each other and failing miserably*
Alice & Jasper: *walk in* hey where's everybody gone?
Alice & Jasper: *see Edward and Jacob fighting* guys why are you fighting?
Edward & Jacob: (between puffs) he ate Carlisle, I may have just eaten him a tiny bit!
Alice & Jasper: you stupid mutt!
Esme: what oh my god! But Jacob is barley a child? What on earth? I don't understand why would anyone want to kill Carlisle? Everybody loves Carlisle? *Starts jabbering on "Carlisle no not Carlisle" etc*
Jacob: *finally shrugged off Edward* I am still here you know!
Edward: oh we couldn't not know, the stink of dog shit is driving me crazy!
Alice & Jasper: was that what that was?
Jacob: how comes the bloodsucker who looks like he's always constipated cant speak for himself?
Alice: *whispers* he's a little insecure! he was bullied in his human life about being gay, but when he became a vampire I turned him straight and lets face it have you ever cameacross a gay vampire? Don't think so!
Jasper: I am still here you know!
Jacob: stop copying my line bloodsucker!
Alice: omg Jasper you spoke! Yeyyy! this calls for party everyone is invited!…oh hey wait a minute where is everyone else?
Edward : they've gone hunting
Jacob: who asked you bloodsucker?
Edward: ehh alice,and anyway who invited you dog?
Alice : I did ,stop being mean Edward,seriously I dread to think how suicidle you would have been in your past life, you make nursing homes look like las vegas!
Edward : im going to go stalk Bella!
Alice: that just leave's us, Jacob, Jasper you guys up for a party?
Jacob:yep yep nothing better to do
Jasper: no comment
Alice: Esme you in?
Esme: oh my god carlise carlise it's not happing *crying whitout tears as vampires do*
Alice: well that counts her out! Lets get the party started! Three's enough for a party right guy's?
Jacob & Jasper: *walk off into the distance*
Alice: damn such part poopers*sulks on the floor*
Random guy walking past: hmmph guess it's true vampires CANT have fun!
hey guys,guess thats the end of chapter 1
so let me know what you guys think of it (coz i think it's pretty damn good:):P)
R&R you know you want too:P
byeeee
mizz edward cullen97......SIGNING OUT:)
PEACE 2 DA PEOPLES AND ALLxxx luvin u's:P
