A/N: I've wanted to write a fanfiction about Yori/Iku for a long time but I never had enough time. Sorry for grammar mistakes but I don't have a beta and English is not my mother language.
Summary: Without her other half, Iku took a darker turn, and fell into depression. Did her parents really expect her to go back to how she used to be? They should have known better, after all, sinners don't get happy endings.
Warnings: (implied) incest, depression, suicide, and character death.
NOTES FOR THE STORY:
1) This is one-shot
2) I haven't seen the anime yet, so it's based on the manga
3) This takes place during Volume 10 – chapter 58, after Yori left.
Saints and Sinners
One Year Ago
"Are those tears?" Yori asked with a soft smile as he covered Iku with a blanket.
Iku sniffed, she didn't want to cry in front of him but… "Please don't leave." she begged him.
"Stop it already." he said harshly.
"Please don't go." she murmured, feeling the exhaustion slowly taking over.
My beloved Yori's voice…
"Go to sleep." Yori kissed her forehead, "We'll talk tomorrow."
His warm hands…
"Don't cry." he brushed her tears. "Goodnight, Iku."
That was the last time I saw Yori.
When Iku was younger, her English teacher had stated a Greek saying; "Όταν ο άνθρωπος κάνει σχέδια, ο Θεός γελάει" which meant, "When a human makes plans, God laughs."
For years she had never understood the real meaning behind the sentence that her teacher had said but she never dared to ask Yori, mostly because she was just too shy and she knew her twin would probably make fun of her and tease her. However she, now, understood. Humans can't make plans because it's God who decides what's about to happen, therefore he laughs at their naiveness.
And like he had done to a lot of other mortals, he must have laughed at her when she was with Yori in the church.
After their parents found out about them, they ran away and stayed for few days over Yano's beach house where they spent all the hours together. Iku had let her imagination wander, she could picture her future with Yori; cooking with him, cleaning the house with him, going for walks with him, loving each other…
Yori had repeatedly called her cruel while they were together but Iku now believe, Yori knew nothing of cruelty.
Didn't he realize how heartless it was to make her choose between the two things she loved the most?
"I just want to be with you!" she had cried in his chest when he told her they would return back home.
He didn't wrap his arms around her like he usually did. It pained her that he had become so distant all of the sudden. Wasn't it yesterday when they were making and eating breakfast together? "Then Iku, can you give up your parents for me?"
Iku had taken a step back and looked at him wide-eyed, clearly shocked. However Yori didn't show any mercy and he repeated the question. "For me, can you give up your own biological parents?"
Iku was going to say yes; yes, she would give up everything to be with him, she would become anyone as long she could stay. It would be just him and her; Yori and Iku, against anything and anyone.
But before she could pour her heart to him, he continued, "Yesterday, Yano told me mom fell ill."
It was so like Yori to make her fall in love with him, only to abound her, leaving her to be the one to pick up the pieces of her broken heart. Then again he had left while taking half the pain and suffering with him. Yet, that didn't change the feelings of hurt and betrayal he had left behind.
Of course there was always Yano for her; good old Yano who wanted nothing more than to get the 'old' her back. The handsome boy had suggested not many months ago to give him a chance.
Iku wanted to, oh how she wanted to. Yano, although he would tease her mercilessly, was kind and patient with her. And yet… he wasn't Yori.
And since he's not her Yori, she can't be his Iku.
"Yano-kun, thanks for coming over every day." Iku could hear her mother from upstairs, "There haven't been any changes." there was a pause and Iku guessed she was probably sighing. "She hasn't eaten for five days…"
She didn't hear a lot after that; the conversation took the same turn it did every day. They talked about Yori and where he could possibly be, her new unhealthy habits, and her childish acts…
Part of Iku wanted to curse her mother, she and Yori had returned for her, and Iku had noticed with Yori's absence, her mother had become happier. Though she couldn't blame her; in her mother's eyes the problem was solved, Yori did the right thing and they were now a normal family again.
"Imouto-chan, today is a fine day. Staying inside is such a waste, the weather is so good!" Yano told her as soon as he stepped into the room, her room.
Iku didn't turn to look at him and she didn't respond either. It had become a new habit of hers to sit on a chair and gaze out the window. She could hear the giggles of the children who were playing with one another, and if she closed her eyes she could even picture Yori doing his homework behind her.
"Pull yourself together!" cold hands touched her face and she forced herself to open her eyes. "Even though Yori left, he wouldn't want you to become this!" he pointed her extremely thin body and Iku pushed him away.
Her eyes were filled with anger and Yano blinked, it was the first time that he saw her glaring at him like that.
Raising her hand, she pointed at the door. "Get out!" she yelled and Yano opened his mouth to talk but she didn't let him. "Can't you hear? Leave!" she shook her head as if it would make the tears that were running down her face disappear. "I will never love you, Yano-kun; and trying to replace you with him would be too stupid and pointless. You are the knight Yano-kun, and the knight never gets the princess." she laughed humorlessly.
"Now go!" with all her strength she could gather she pushed him on the door, "Leave!" she screamed at the top of her lungs and this time he complied.
That was the last time the two of them talked.
"I brought you some tea." her mother said and left the cup of tea beside her, on the small table.
After two weeks had passed she eventually had to start eating again whether she liked it or not. But things between her and her parents had gone from bad to worse after a year had passed.
Her mother sighed. "You can't waste your life here, Iku." she could her hand brushing her hair; after one year they had started growing again and this time she had lo intention cutting them. "You are young, you have your whole life ahead to-"
"Stop" Iku cut her off, without taking her eyes off the window. "You got what you wanted, not leave me alone." Although she was looking at her, Iku could feel her mother's sad eyes staring at her with disapproval.
Once the door closed Inu Yori jumped on her lap and she started petting him. The little dog was bought by Yori and he was the only one who could get her attention.
As she stroked his dark fur, Iku glanced at the ring Yori had given her; it only took her few months to finally realize that Yori had required something to be written inside. Inside the ring, with calligraphic letter it was written: 'I'm blessed to have you in my life.'
Her lips curled into a faint smile. I'm as much of a sinner as you are. If you are Adam, then I'm Eve.
"You know Iku, the clover is a flower that existed when Adam and Eve were staying in Paradise." Yori took her hand as they both had finished praying.
"When they committed a taboo, they were banished from the Garden of Eden." he stroked her hand gently as he continued. "Before they left, they picked up a clover and said, 'To remember only happy times'. So they plucked the cloves from the Garden of Eden and brought it to this land."
"He has always been such a good storyteller." Iku mused and her pet barked softly as if he was disagreeing.
"You're going to be a good boy once I'm gone, won't you?" Inu Yori whined as he sensed the sadness in her voice.
Iku smiled softly at him and played with his ears, "I'm sure Yano will take care of you."
Although they weren't talking to each other anymore – or more specifically though she wasn't talking to him, he never stopped visiting despite giving him a cold shoulder.
She had meant what she said; in a fairytale Yori was the prince, she was the princess and Yano the knight. The princess always ended up with the prince or died trying. The knight could only hope for the prince's misery and dream of having the princess hope.
Iku shook her head and let out a dry chuckle; no wonder Yori left her. She was s dumb with her childish thoughts.
That Night
"Congratulations Iku." both her parents shared a smile and her mother hugged her. "That's the highest marks you have ever gotten!"
After dinner, Iku had showed her mark exams and was slightly happy as she looked at her parents' proud faces; sure 70% wasn't the best but comparing to the 3s and the 10s, it was much better.
"Is there anything you want?" Her mother asked, her eyes shining.
Her father nodded, agreeing with his wide, "You can have anything you want."
Iku shook her head,"No thanks." her eyes lowered and she softly spoke, "I already have everything I need." she moved to go upstairs but suddenly paused, "Actually, can I borrow dad's car tomorrow? I'd like to go to Tanabata tomorrow."
Her father blinked and looked at her surprised; both parents shared a look; it was the first time their daughter finally wanted to go out.
"Alone?"
"No, with Yano-kun." she lied.
They looked at each other again. Her father opened his mouth to protest; he had a bad feeling for this. However her mother grinned and she instantly nodded. "Of course!" she clapped her hands together
Iku nodded and pretended not to hear her mother who was mumbling about how cute they were together.
The Next Day
The Tanabata, also known as the Star Festival was a festival based on an old legend. Princess Orihime, daughter of the Tentei, wove beautiful clothes by the bank of the Amanogawa or else known as the heavenly river, represented by the Milky Way.
Her father who was a God of heavens loved the cloth that she wove and so she worked very hard every day to weave it. However, Orihime was sad that because of her hard work she could never meet and fall in love with anyone. Concerned about his daughter, Tentei arranged for her to meet Hikoboshi, the cow herder who lived and worked on the other side of the Amanogawa.
When the two met, they fell instantly in love with each other and married shortly thereafter. However, once married, Orihime no longer would weave cloth for Tentei and Hikoboshi allowed his cows to stray all over Heaven. In anger, Tentei separated the two lovers across the Amanogawa and forbade them to meet.
Orihime became despondent at the loss of her husband and asked her father to let them meet again. Tentei was moved by his daughter's tears and allowed the two to meet on the 7th day of the 7th month if she worked hard and finished her weaving. The first time they tried to meet, however, they found that they could not cross the river because there was no bridge.
Orihime cried so much that a flock of magpies came and promised to make a bridge with their wings so that she could cross the river. It was said that if it rained on Tanabata, the magpies could not come and the two lovers must wait until another year to meet.
Today, however, the skies were not clear and the two lovers would not meet. The fact comforted and saddened Iku at the same time. Taking a deep breath, she drove to the cliffs.
Meanwhile, Iku's mother was cleaning her room when she found a letter on her daughter's bed.
Feeling curious, she wondered whether Iku had left it for her or if it was written for someone else-
Her eyes widened as a thought crossed her mind. What if she knows Yori's location and she's writing to him? Do they continue having that forbidden relationship?
It had been a year but could they…
Panicky, she quickly unfolded without feeling a bit of reluctance this time.
Mom and Dad,
It's no easy task to be good at something when you have a sibling who is better at almost everything. So I dedicated my time at doing what I was good at; loving my family and make everyone happy. I obviously failed in that task. And because of this failure, I failed both of you. I am haunted how things might have turned out differently if I hadn't fallen with Yori.
However, despite the pain I made everyone feel (especially you mom) I can't regret loving him. If anyone can understand it, it's you mom. Your love has been a gift. Keep feeling it, as I'll feel my regrets.
One of them is not speaking to either of you earlier, but you have to understand. You would have separated me and Yori immediately and neithe of us could imagine living without one another, or so I thought.
When Yori left I was heartbroken. I know you may think that it was only him who felt attraction towards me but you're wrong. Yes, I loved (and still do) Yori. I loved him with passion that consumed me, and then when Yori left, the void he left was too deep, too dark. Facing the rest of my life without my other half, I realize I went off the deep end, and I became a shell of my former self.
I tried to pretend to be alright, but I can't see an end to the pain. In this event I can only hope you'll forget about me in time, but in my heart I fear the opposite. I've spent a lot of time thinking the past year, and I've decided to travel in a different path than the one you may have hoped. Instead of warning you of where I was going, I decided it'd be easier to surprise you when I get there. It's not going to be so bad, really.
Don't you see? If we go on like this we'll lose every happy memory we've got, and I can't allow that. For months I've stared out the window, and I've seen the world without me... and it's better than I ever imagined. Mom, Dad... through all the smiles and laughter you've thrown at me I found some genuine, but my mind is still so twisted.
I don't ask for your forgiveness. All I ask is for you to forget me, for I don't want our last memory to end this way. I love you both.
Yours,
Iku
Iku stared up at the angry sky broodingly, waiting for the first drops to break the stillness.
The waves picked up as she paced, beginning to crash against the rocks, but there was still no wind. She felt pinned down by the pressure of the storm. Everything swirled around her, but it was perfectly still where she was standing. The air had a faint electric charge and she could feel the static in her hair.
Farther out, the waves were angrier than they were along the shore. Iku could see them battering against the line of the cliffs, spraying big white clouds of sea foam into the sky. There was still no movement in the air, though the clouds roiled more quickly now. It was eerie looking like the clouds were moving by their own will. Iku shivered, though she knew it was just a trick of the pressure.
She wondered for a millionth time,how things could have turned out had she not been born as Yori's twin.
The cliffs were a black knife edge against the livid sky. Staring at them, she could imagine the way Yori's voice would have sounded in her head furious. The burning in her chest flared agonizingly.
There was only one way to quench it. The pain was growing more and more intolerable by the second. She glared at the cliffs and the crashing waves.
The ocean sounded very far away, somehow farther than before, when she was on the path in the trees. She grimaced when she thought of the probable temperature of the water. But she wasn't going to let that stop her.
Iku closed her eyes. If she was lucky or maybe if she was forgiven, then maybe God would show mercy on her and he would give her a chance to fall in love without being forbidden.
The wind blew stronger now; whipping the rain into eddies around her.
She stepped out to the edge, keeping her eyes on the empty space in front of her. Her toes felt ahead blindly, caressing the edge of the rock when they encountered it. She drew in a deep breath and held it.
Raising her arms straight out, as if she were going to dive, she lifted her face into the rain. Iku leaned forward, crouching to get more spring, and she flung herself off the cliff.
She screamed as she dropped through the open air like a meteor, but it was a scream of exhilaration and not fear. The wind resisted, trying vainly to fight the unconquerable gravity, pushing against her and twirling her in spirals like a rocket crashing to the earth.
Oh my God! The words echoed through her head as she sliced through the surface of the water. It was icy, colder than she'd feared, and yet the chill only added to the high.
Iku was disappointed as she plunged deeper into the freezing black water. She hadn't had one moment of terror, just pure adrenaline. Where was the fear? The challenge? Where was death? She was perfectly fine when she wasn't supposed to.
That was when the current caught her.
It felt like the waves were fighting over her, jerking me back and forth between them as if determined to share by pulling her into halves. Iku knew the right way to avoid a riptide: swim parallel to the beach rather than struggling for the shore. But the knowledge did her little good when I didn't know which way the shore was.
She couldn't even tell which way the surface was.
The angry water was black in every direction; she couldn't feel a downward pull, a sinking in any direction. Just the battering of the current that flung her round and round, like a rag doll.
She fought to keep her breath in, to keep her lips locked around her last store of oxygen.
She didn't open her mouth until she felt like her head was exploding. When she finally let it in, that's when it stopped hurting. It wasn't scary anymore; it was actually kind of peaceful. But the peace didn't last long, the cold water made her feel numb on the outside but on the inside, she was burning.
She never expected drowning to feel that way, the fire in her body was becoming bigger and more painful. Natural instinct kicked it and she tried to save herself by clumsily swimming.
"Iku, swim!" she could imagine Yori's eyes wide and angry as he'd shout at her to keep fighting.
Her ears were flooded with the freezing water, but his voice was clearer than ever. She ignored his words and concentrated on the sound of his voice. Why would I fight when I was so happy where I was?
Even as her lungs burned for more air and her legs cramped in the icy cold, Iku was content. She'd forgotten what real happiness felt like.
Happiness. It made the whole dying thing pretty bearable.
Maybe in some other life, she and Yori could be reborn, not as twins or siblings but as two strangers who would meet each other accidentally in some common place like a park, or at school.
The current won, shoving her abruptly against something hard, a rock invisible in the gloom.
Maybe one day, she and Yori would be given a second chance to fall in love without feeling any guilt.
They wouldn't be two sinners who were going against God; they would be two saints who were blessed by him.
Her skull hit like an iron bar against a rock.
In some other life, they wouldn't be a pair of twins named Yori and Iku who had committed a taboo by falling in love. They would be two strangers, two normal people.
Water flooded down her throat, choking and burning, and she sank deeper into the dark, to the ocean floor.
A boy, a girl, and their love
~The End~
A/N: So how was it? Please review and let me know.
xLonelyDreamerx
