One more time. Who could have ever though it that those three little words, those simple syllables could hurt as much as they do? They didn't hurt the
first time, because I had actually believed them, but it was the second time and the third time and the slow and steady progression of getting over
used that finally got to me.

It wasn't so much as that I wanted to get rid of him. Get rid of that steady stream of lies that he fed me with a spoon. I didn't want to lose him. But I knew I already had. I knew I didn't satisfy his needs as well as those other girls did. Those girls who were trained in their profession.

He came in around dawn, creeping through the open window that let in a gentle breeze of sweet, July air. I knew where he had been. And I knew I
would once again ask him in the morning. and I knew he would say those
three words again. One more time.

+

I leaned against the wall, waiting for Spot to make his way out of the
washroom. It was time I gave him what was coming to him. As soon as he stepped out, fixing his red suspenders over his blue denim shirt, his cap covering his uncombed brown hair, I stepped in front of him, my eyes cold,
and my chest heaving with fear.

"Where were you?" I questioned, looking my milky green eyes straight into his, knowing that this would be the last time he would ever meet my gaze.

He immediately looked down, as if a small child caught and sent to time out for an hour. He sighed. "I'se sorry, Key." he trailed off, not wanting to tell me where he had been. He never had told me. I just knew. I knew the
way his mind worked. And I knew he hungered for passion.

I shook my head in shame, knowing that I could never muster up enough courage with that I was about to do. But I knew I had to. This had gone on
long enough. "Spot, it's over."

He looked up at me, his eyes glistening from the pale light from the bulb
hanging in the center of the room. "Why, Key?"

"I can't take this anymore Spot. You're lieing. It needs to stop, and this
is the only way I know how to make it."

"I'se swear I won't ever do nuttin' again. Just give me one more chance!"

I shook my head. I had to stay strong. This had happened to me before. Every time I thought it was over, he went and asked me to give him one more
chance. And I always said yes. One more time.

"Spot, you can't keep doing this to me!" I said, my voice choking up, I
wrapped my arms around myself, scared that if I let go, the flood gates
would open and everything I had ever thought or ever felt would come
rushing out.

Spot moved closer to me, his hands extended, waiting patiently for me to
come into his arms. I stood my ground, not letting my barrier weaken. I
knew I had no chance of making this break up successful. I never had.

I stayed where I was. I didn't want to move closer, but I didn't want to move away. I knew it was wrong to stay with him. I care for him too much,
and I knew I couldn't stay away from him.

"Please, Key. I'll change. I'se swear on me life dat I'll change!" Spot
begged. His eyes held a pleading that I couldn't ignore, and with reluctance I pulled my arms from around myself and walked gingerly over to
where he still stood, his arms anticipating my entrance.

"Spot, please promise me this time that you will actually change." I asked,
letting his scent wash over me like the sweetest aroma. I knew I could
never give this up.

"I'll promise I'll change." He answered, holding me tight. I sighed. I knew
it wasn't possible for me to let this go. He had a power over me, and I
knew I would give him one more chance. One more time.