I was never happy with the first version of this story and edited twice with in a year of posting it online. Someone asked if there would be a sequel which is the main reason that spurred the edit. I just couldn't make one work without changing the things I hated in the original version. To all of those that liked the first version, I hope you will enjoy the updated version as well. Please review and let me know what you think.
Chasing Forever
Robin sits alone in his room at Titans Tower replaying the day's tragic events over and over trying to figure out exactly where everything went wrong and how he could have prevented it.
The Titans have just stopped Cinderblock's latest destructive rampage. They are about to return to the tower when a mysterious group dressed in black hooded cloaks appears. They begin attacking the Titans without so much as a word. It isn't clear what they want until Starfire is separated from the group. Three of them gang up on her-wrestling her to the ground. There is a tremendous explosion as they simply explode. There is nothing anyone can do to help her. Raven is the only one able to break away and get to Starfire. Angered Robin furiously attacks those around him-he is only vaguely aware that they were chanting some foreign sounding words-he has no idea that are directed at him. His only concern is Starfire. Everyone freezes when Raven cries out-the mysterious group disappears as everyone rushes toward the girls. Starfire was hurt too bad for even Raven's healing powers to save her. Cyborg tries to comfort Raven-but she is taking it hard because no one had ever died while she was trying to save them.
Everything after that is a blur to Robin. He wants to believe that everything was just some horrible dream and that when he wakes up Starfire will be flitting around the tower in her always cheerful manor. Starfire was so strong-something like this was not supposed to happen to her. Robin cared deeply for Starfire-he can't call it love-but they shared something he never felt for anyone else and as far as he is concerned at this very moment he never will. It seems that everyone close to him dies and he doesn't think he can bare to lose anyone else. Robin sits on his bed holding a picture of Starfire-wondering why his future self would have sent Starfire back to her own time when he knew what was going to happen to her. His thoughts are interrupted by frantic banging on his door. All he wants right now is to be alone. He doesn't feel up to facing the others right now. He is the leader-he's supposed to be strong when things like this happen but he just doesn't feel up to it right now.
"Yo Robin, open up-we need you now!"
Robin lays the picture down on the bed. He gets up and walks over the door, which slides open to reveal Cyborg. "What is it?"
"Raven...you saw how upset she got when she couldn't save Starfire with her healing powers. She locked herself in her room and she won't answer BB or me. We're scared she's going to hurt herself-we thought maybe she would listen to you."
Robin runs along side Cyborg down to Raven's room where Beast Boy is desperately trying to coax Raven into opening the door. "Raven come on please let me in!" Beast Boy turns to Robin as he stops beside him. "Dude you have to get Raven to come out."
Robin steps up to the locked door-he stands there a few seconds as he realizes if can't get Raven to open up-he may well lose someone else close to him. "Raven-it's Robin. I need you to open the door so we can talk."
The only sound to be heard is that of Raven crying.
"Raven please-I just want to make sure you're okay."
The sound of Raven crying stops abruptly the sudden sound of silence is terrifying.
"Raven-I'm ordering you to open the door."
Only silence answers back.
Robin looks at the keypad on his right that controls the door locks-each Titan has their own code to keep the others out of their room-no one but Raven ever seemed to bother with it. He remembers there is an override code-in case of emergencies but right now he can't remember it. Robin pries the keypad from the wall with his bare hands-exposing the wiring behind it. He pulls out some of the wires and the door slides open to reveal Raven sitting on her knees in front of her bed. From his vantage point he can clearly see the dagger in her hands. Robin turns to Cyborg and Beast Boy, "Let me talk to Raven alone. I'll come get you once she's calmed down."
Reluctantly Cyborg and Beast Boy leave the hallway and head down to OPS as Robin reconnects the wires so the door will close. Robin cautiously enters Raven's room.
"Go away."
"Raven please put down the dagger." Robin eases closer to Raven as he speaks.
"I couldn't save her."
"You tried-that are what matters."
"I didn't try hard enough."
"You did everything you could Raven."
"She was such a good friend-I never told her that."
"I'm sure she knows how you feel Raven."
"Then she must also know how terrible I am."
"Raven that isn't true."
Raven stands up and faces Robin. "I was jealous of what the two of you had. She could share her feelings with you and it didn't affect her powers...but most of all I was jealous because she had you."
"Raven you're just upset because you felt that way-it had nothing to do with you not being able to save Starfire. She was hurt too bad for even you to help her and deep down you know that. You just don't realize it because you're hurting right now-we all are."
"I don't deserve to live." Raven holds the knife to her chest-ready to bury it in her heart.
"Do you think Starfire would want you to do this?"
Raven stands there staring at Robin for several seconds before she faints. Robin rushes to her-barely managing to catch her before she hits the floor. He takes the dagger from her hand and throws it back toward the door. As he kneels there holding Raven in his arms he thinks about what she just admitted to him-that she has feelings for him. He is afraid to let her get any closer to him than he already has-because he has had feelings for her ever since she entered his mind and saved him from the chemical reagent that nearly killed him a year ago. Those feelings aren't the same as he felt for Starfire-but what he feels for Raven is strong enough that if given time-it could turn into something more. Suddenly Robin begins to feel strange-like he is somehow losing control over himself-he has no idea it is connected to the strange chat that the mysterious group said earlier before they disappeared.
*****
When Raven comes too-she finds herself in Robin's arms. As she recalls what was said between them-she is sure that he must hate her. "Robin, I'm sorry...I never meant to hurt you--"
Robin places a single finger on Raven's lips to quiet her. He brushes some stray hair out of her face and tucks it behind her ear as he speaks. "Hush now Raven. I'm not upset with you-in fact I'm rather glad you told me how you feel." Robin caresses Raven's cheek with his hand. "I must confess-that I have had feelings for you for quite some time now. It's a pity that we didn't realize how felt sooner-but at least we're free to make up for that lost time now."
"How could you even think of something like that? Starfire loved you." Raven tries to get up but Robin holds her still.
"You're not going anywhere my dear."
"Robin please stop it you're scaring me."
"I come in here to find you holding a knife ready to kill yourself and you say I'm scaring you?"
"What is wrong with you? You don't sound like yourself-you sound like Slade."
"There is nothing wrong with me-my dear." Robin kisses Raven passionately.
Raven tries to pull away from Robin-but he holds her still as he removes her cape and tosses it aside. When she feels like she is going to suffocate, Robin finally lets Raven up for air. "We can't do this...it's wrong." Raven squirms desperately trying to free herself from Robin's grasp as he kisses her again. This time Robin forces his tongue into her mouth. Raven doesn't want to hurt Robin-but she has to get out of this situation before it goes too far-so she bites his tongue to make him stop. When Robin's only response is to hold her tighter Raven-in desperation-rakes her finger nails down the side of his face leaving deep bleeding cuts on his cheek.
Robin pulls back from Raven-angered he slaps her-hard-across the face. "Never try that again." Tears begin to fall from Raven's eyes. Robin responds by licking them away before plunging his tongue back into to her mouth. At the same time he unzips her leotard and pulls it down off her shoulders.
Raven panics as blood seeps into her mouth from the wound on Robin's tongue. She tries to push him away-but she can't. As her mouth slowly fills with blood she is forced to swallow because he won't let her go. Frantically she begins beating on him with her fists to make him stop.
Robin pulls back and captures Raven's wrists in his hands. "If that is the way you want to play..." Holding both of her wrists in one hand-Robin opens a compartment on his utility belt and takes out a set of handcuffs he keeps with him. As he maneuvers her beneath him he pulls her arms free from the sleeves of her leotard.
To Raven's horror Robin forces her to the floor and cuffs her hands to the bedpost. She struggles against her bonds even though she knows it is useless. "Robin...please don't do this."
Robin's only response is to pull the leotard all the way off her-along with her boots. For now she still has on her bra and panties-but he wants to see her completely naked. Robin gets up-but only to undress himself.
Raven looks away as Robin completes his task and straddles her nearly naked form. "Why are you doing this?"
"We are birds of a feather--we belong together Raven." Robin rips Raven's bra and panties from her body-leaving her naked and vulnerable as she trembles beneath him. Robin kisses Raven again-but this time he trails kisses down her neck- all the way to her breasts-leaving trails of blood from his bleeding tongue as he goes.
Raven whimpers as Robin bites her nipple and forcefully begins to suck the blood that flows from the wound. "Please stop...if you let me go now I won't tell anyone about this."
Robin clamps his hand over her throat-just barely allowing her to breathe. "You won't tell anyone-anything if you know what's good for you." Robin keeps his hand on her throat as he as he focuses on her other nipple-bitting harder this time. Raven begins to feel faint as he again sucks her blood-but he grips her throat tighter restricting her breathing even more and bringing her back to reality. "You won't get away that easily my dear." Robin continues trailing kisses down Raven's body until he reaches her most private area-but Raven keeps her legs clamped tightly together. "Open up Raven." When Raven refuses to move Robin takes a birdarang from his nearby utility belt-with his free hand-and holds the sharp end against Raven's face. "Don't make me tell you twice."
When Raven doesn't move Robin slowly rakes the birdarang across her cheek. As blood begins to pour from the wound fresh tears fall from Raven's eyes. This time out of fear of what he might do if she doesn't-she opens herself to him. She cries out from the pain as he thrusts himself inside her.
"You didn't tell me you were a virgin, Raven."
Raven struggles frantically against her bonds-the cold metal of the handcuffs cutting into her flesh as Robin continues to violently thrust himself in and out of her. It seems to her like an eternity until Robin finally comes inside her and ceases his assault-but there is something different about him now-he seems to change somehow.
Suddenly Robin becomes aware of what is going on-the last thing he remembers is Raven fainting. Now he finds her handcuffed beneath him and he is gripping her throat so tight his hand hurts. Robin quickly pulls away from Raven and releases her from the handcuffs. "Raven, I...I'm sorry I don't know what came over me...the last thing I remember is catching you when you fainted." Robin tries to help Raven up-but she pushes him away.
"Get away from me!" Raven pulls the blanket from her bed and holds it around her naked form. Her wrists-bloody from struggling against the handcuffs-leave streaks of blood on the blanket. Bruises already appearing on her neck and face stand out sharply against her pale skin and the wounds on her face and nipples still bleed. Blood from the wound on Robin's tongue is trailed down her body beginning from where he licked away the tears as they fell from her eyes.
Robin frantically grabs his clothing and makes himself decent. "I don't know what just happened...but it is only right for you to press charges."
"Do you think Star fire would want me to do that?"
"I deserve that--"
"--Get out."
Robin doesn't yet move, "Raven...I--"
"Get out of here now or I'll send you straight to hell once I regain control of my powers!"
Robin gathers his things and leaves Raven's room. He lingers momentarily outside of the door. He knows she is scared and didn't mean what she said. He feels he should go to her and work this out but he can't stop himself from returning to his own room.
Raven tries to get up-but she is in a great deal of pain. Her legs refuse to support her weight-so she just lays there in the floor where she is and cries.
When Robin enters to his room he sits down on the bed with his head in his hands. He can't get the sight of Raven lying bloody and bruised beneath him out of his mind. As he looks up he catches sight of himself in the mirror-Raven's blood is still on his mouth mingled with his own and the cuts on his cheek are still bleeding. He gets up and walks over to the mirror. "You're no better than the person who killed your parents." Robin draws back his fist and punches the mirror with all his might. Shards of glass fall all around him as he sinks down to his knees. "Raven was wrong-I'm the one who doesn't deserve to live." Robin picks up a shard of the broken mirror and holds it in his hand. It is only then that he realizes he left the dagger in Raven's room. Dropping the shard of glass he gets up and runs from his room.
Raven notices the dagger lying close to her door as she hears the sound of shattering glass somewhere in the tower-still unable to get up she manages to crawl over to it. She leans back against her door and picks up the dagger. Holding it in her trembling hands she once again aims the blade toward her heart. She is about to plunge it deep into her chest when the door opens.
As Raven tumbles backward into the hall Robin grabs the dagger from her hand. He picks her up-carries her inside and lays her down on her bed. He quickly picks up the blanket and covers Raven's naked form.
"Why won't you let me die?"
Robin answers in an almost inaudible whisper. "Because I'm the one who doesn't deserve to live." Robin leaves Raven's room and sinks to the floor in the hallway with the dagger still in hand.
Cyborg and Beast Boy turn the corner and run down the hall. Beast Boy stands there in total shock at Robin's appearance. Shards of glass are embedded in one of Robin's hands and his knees-blood is quickly soaking the usually green attire and there are cuts on his face.
"What happened to you?"
Robin looks up at Cyborg. "I'm not exactly sure-all I can remember is that I was trying to save Raven. You should go to her-she doesn't need to be left alone right now." Beast Boy watches as Robin gets up and walks down the hallway-still carrying the dagger.
Cyborg enters Raven's room and finds her cowering beneath the blood stained blanket. Looking at her clothes scattered around the bed and the wounds on her face and neck-he knows something bad went down between the birds. "Rae...what happened?"
Raven doesn't answer-she just cries as Cyborg lifts her up from the bed-still covered by the blanket and carries her out of her room and up to the infirmary.
Robin goes back to his room and sits down on the bed. He gets the strange feeling again and is unable to fight it as he is fully aware of what he is being forced to do this time. Robin takes the dagger and plunges it into his heart.
Beast Boy follows Cyborg and stands nearby once they reach the infirmary. Cyborg lays Raven down on the nearest bed suddenly Raven grabs her head and cries out."
"Raven what's wrong?
"Robin..."
Beast Boy runs from the infirmary down to Robin's room. There he finds Robin lying on his bed with the knife buried in his chest.
In the infirmary-Cyborg tries to get Raven to calm down. She is upset not only because she felt Robin die as the bond they once shared slipped away-but at the moment of his death she had a vision which she is in no state of mind to focus on. all she can make sense of from it is that revealed that sometime in the near future Slade reappears-and is after Robin's new born daughter.
