Beautiful Gwen.

It started a few years ago. After I started working for torchwood….and Jack. I loved it at first don't get me wrong, there was nothing better than knowing that there is life out in the stars. But I couldn't tell anyone. I began to drink my problems away. And that's when I met her. Gwen cooper.

I was sitting there nursing a pint when the barman gave me another one.

"I didn't order this" I said glaring at the man, one thing I hate is being forced to pay for something I don't want.

"Lady at the bar paid for this" the man grunted nodding towards a woman dressed in jeans and a leather jacket. The barman walked off and left me to ponder.

The woman sat next to me. "You looked like you needed a pint" she said. I could tell from her accent that she was a local.

"Thanks" I mumbled

"What division do you work for?" she asked

"Excuse me?" I asked taking a quick sip.

"You have that look, the same one I get after hard day on the force" she said finally looking at me. I didn't answer first. She was beautiful. A fairy tale come true. She had long ebony black hair, dark eyes and flawless pale skin. Her lips were ruby red and she looked odd in her jeans.

"special ops" I said "I got a boss that won't tell me anything, a co-worker that hits on me, a high and mighty bitch and a bloody tea boy that obviously has a crush on my boss" I said bitterly.

She nodded thoughtfully and she then held her hand out, it was tiny with sharp, clean nails. "Gwen Cooper" she said.

I shook her hand "Suzie Costello" I replied.

And that's how our friendship began. I soon told her everything about Torchwood, warned her against jack and how he could hurt her. But the team got suspious if I continued my friendship with Gwen they would soon kill her, it was inevitable. So I retconed her. But I left a trigger. I had too. It was all part of the plan.

And it worked three months without me and the name Torchwood made Gwen cooper curious. She followed me and jack. She found the hub. But jack no matter how impressed he was retconed her. I can't work out how she remembered about Torchwood but not me. I would like to think it was all the things I told her but when I really think about it…. She had the way of the wolf around her.

The plan was for us to live together in harmony but she thought I was a cold blooded murderer. I killed captain jack Harkness but he came back. So I shot my self.

But I had a backup plan. Gwen cooper is impressive and I have seen I way jack looked at her. Gwen would take my place, max will go on a rampage and I will return.

It was almost perfect Gwen trusted me; I saved her life and sang our song with her. She doesn't remember me. I killed my father and drove quickly to the harbour. Gwen was dying, we needed to leave.

But jack followed us. He shot me again and again. It didn't matter. Gwen's soul was entwined with mine and jack knew it. When he shot Suzie, he shot Gwen.

I said my goodbye. I told her she was beautiful, I pressed a kiss on her perfect lips and told her safe journey. Jack Harkness may love Gwen but I love her more.

They broke the connection and I was left in the darkness. But I saw everything Gwen saw. That was the bright side. I felt my insides twist when Gwen refused to leave jack. She loved him. No she was in love with him. Jack maybe immortal but Gwen's not and one day she'll be mine.

My beautiful Gwen.