He misses her, Asch does.
He would never admit it, not to one of his fellow God Generals, not to Van, not even to himself. But on the sleepless nights when he finds himself lying on his back in an empty bed, staring at the shadows dancing on his ceiling, his thoughts wander back to the time when he had a home, when his was the only face like it in the world. He imagines he can still breathe in his young fiance's sweet flowery scent, pretending her blonde hair still falls over her closed eyes as she lies on the pillow next to him. If he tries hard enough, he can almost hear her faint breathing, in and out, as she dreams.
When morning comes he realizes that sometime in the night he fell asleep, continuing his waking dream. Joining the other God Generals, red-eyed and exhausted, hearing their bickering and their yelling and their fussing, he feels nothing but frustration and anger for being forced from his home into a place like this. He can't help but envy his replica, and although he would rather die than reveal his secrets, he would switch places with the dreck if he could, if he didn't feel a need to fight for a cause he knows he has already lost. Deep down, he hopes that someday he can be with Natalia once more, that she can accept him as Asch the Bloody rather than Luke fon Fabre, the child who no longer exists as one alone.
And until that day, his dreams of her will continue to carry him through the long, lonesome nights.
