Disclaimer: I don't own Gossip Girl. I wish I did though because Nate would be with Jenny, Serena with Dan and Chuck and Blair perfectly happy. But I don't so there not.


Ruined

Chuck Bass was always blamed for something going wrong. Serena blamed him on Georgina's presents and Dan finding out she slept with Nate. His father blamed him for the ruins of his life. For killing his mother. His nannies thought of one thing and one thing alone; money. To them he was a blemish on their calendar and when he got older a free night in the Palace Penthouse. Nate blamed him for his and Blair's problems. That Chuck sleeping with Blair had caused every problem between them. His mother or so called mother blamed him for Jack not loving her. And Jack? Jack blamed him for not getting Bass Industries and for pretty much everything. But there was always one person who never really blamed him. Who never said that he had ruined them or ruined something of theirs.

Blair Waldorf.


It's just a game.

That's what Chuck had said when I asked him if he loved me. It's just a game. But that's what Chuck and Blair do right? We play games. We manipulate and torture. I'm Blair Waldorf, Queen B. He's Chuck Bass. Enough said. He's twisted and slightly insane, damaged goods. But I'd taken that. I tried to fix it. I should have known that it didn't work like that. I couldn't take a half of Chuck and try to make him whole.

Instead of me making him whole he'd made me into him. Half of a person, half of a twisted whole. I knew what I was doing when I took him under my wing I just didn't know what it would do to me. I couldn't handle Chuck anymore. I let him go. I had to. I had to find myself and I couldn't do it with him. Chuck had to go for me to find myself.

I did what I had to do to win.

It shocked me how similar we sounded. He was selfish but so was I. Was I? I mean is a hotel equal to me? The hotel is chuck, the little voice in my head whispered. I sat down at my vanity looking into the mirror. I looked the same as I did when I dated Nate or more accurately before I dated Chuck. My face was the same, my hair was the same and my eyes were the same. The exterior simply hadn't changed. But the inside had.

Chuck had ruined me. He'd turned me into something nasty. And I hated him for it. He'd done everything he could to hurt me. Technically Chuck had never outwardly hurt me. He'd never hit me. He'd never cheated. He never tried to control me, according to friends and life. He never stopped me from going to college. But Chuck was Chuck. He didn't do physical. He did emotional. Words hurt more than physical pain. And Chuck Bass knows that.

"What the hell did you say to him?" I turned to find Nate looking depressed and tired in my doorway. I watched him like I didn't know who he was talking about. "Chuck, Blair, you know who I'm talking about. What did you say to him? He hasn't left the penthouse unless it's to go to the bar. Every woman that enters his room leaves angry and unsatisfied. There are even rumors that he's thinking about signing ALL of his shares back to Jack. I don't think he will he fought to hard but I'm worried. What did you say?"

"What did I say when Nate? I'm not in charge of Chuck anymore." I felt irrational hurt when I found out about the women. But I shouldn't because that's how Chuck copes. With scotch and sex.

"At the wedding. He tried Blair. I know what he did was wrong but he apologized, he tried to make it up to you. You hurting him for redemption is unnecessary."

"Oh and him whoring me out to Jack means nothing." I knew it was a weak comeback. Jack had left weeks ago. That was in the past. And I had gone up on my own and I know Chuck told Nate that.

"Blair what did you say? Right after the wedding. What did you say to him?"

I thought back before grabbing onto a memory. "Umm . . . something about how I didn't like the person I'd become. That he'd changed me and twisted me and I didn't like it. That it was his fault we'd ended up here. I broke up with him because of how he changed me, Nate I don't like myself." There was something Nate's face that told me he was thinking hard.

"Oh man, tell me you didn't blame him." Nate pleaded rubbing his forehead his voice low.

"It is his fault." I insisted.

"Blair everyone in Chuck's life has always said that he ruined everything for them. The only person he had that hadn't done it before, blame him. You're the only person he had left. The only person who he hadn't lost. Congratulations, you jut killed Chuck Bass."

"What, how?" I asked.

"You told him he ruined you. He never told you this but his biggest fear wasn't that he'd lose the Empire or anything else. He was terrified to ruin you. To disappoint you. To have you blame him too. And you did. We have to go. I'll break down the freaking door down if I have to." Nate said heading down the stairs I followed behind my heart hammering into my chest.

"I hadn't meant to. I didn't think that I was blaming him or ruining him or anything."


The penthouse was empty. The once warm and loving room cold and hateful like when Jack occupied it. "CHUCK!" Nate yelled flinging open the door to Chuck's bedroom, then the bathroom, when he came back I realized something. He wasn't here. But these were. On the pool table sat two black envelopes with the Bass seal on it. I grabbed one and saw Nate's name. The other had my name.

"Nate . . ." I held up the envelopes to show him and Nate crumpled. His eyes lost their shine, his shoulders slumped and he seemed to age right before my eyes. Then he sprang to life.

"THE ROOF!"


There he was. Chuck Bass. Standing on the side of the roof with his eyes closed his face up to the stars. I felt my heart crack at how lost and sunken he looked. His once strong shoulders now slumped. His suit was replaced by a pair of jeans I didn't know he owned and a purple shirt. His scarf was wrapped around his neck and it stabbed my heart at the sight of it. He hadn't brought it out since we got together. The scarf was the old Chuck.

When Chuck spiraled he reverted back to the old Chuck Bass. He drank scotch all day long. He slept with everything in sight. He smoked hash with hookers in Thailand. He became the Chuck bass everyone believes him to be. Watching him stumble on the edge of the Empire roof I felt my heart shatter. I'd thought that I'd hurt him because he broke me. But with Chuck whole and healthy I wasn't broken. But I was now. Chuck was broken. He was lost and dead. Nate was right I'd killed Chuck Bass. This was the shell of Chuck Bass. Empty and Useless.


"Chuck please get down from there." I didn't open my eyes to look and see. I'd been standing here for hours now. I'd heard her plead for me to get down before and it only hurt more when I looked back and realized she was probably out forgetting me and finding herself a new boy, the golden boy she never got. If I looked back now it would hurt. And this is what this was for. For the pain to stop. To get rid of the pain.

"Chuck please I can't reach you. Come down." I had heard Nate too. It didn't hurt as much to not see him. It hurt more when the thought of Nate choosing Blair's side came into mind.

"CHUCK I LOVE YOU!"

I jumped. The free feeling as I hit the ground and felt my life slip quickly through me I smiled. No more pain. Just freedom.

I love you's aren't magic. They don't work. They mean nothing. Just like I'm sorry and please. Pleading won't bring anyone back. Waiting doesn't heal it makes it worse. When something's ruined it can't be fixed. Chuck Bass is no exception.

A/N

Please Review. I feel bad for Chuck. even though he hurt Blair I still feel bad for him.