These characters do not belong to me, and this story is for entertainment purposes only.
Dr. Susan Lewis went and sat down next to the little girl waiting in chairs. "Hi, Olivia."
The little girl looked at her with her brown eyes brimming with tears, "Hi, Aunt Susan."
"How are you holding up?" Susan asked putting her arm around the little girls shoulder.
"Daddy said we lost our baby." She said sadly. "Mommy is so sad. I hate it when Mommy is sad." Olivia started to cry.
"Shh, sweet little Livy, it's okay." Susan tried to comfort her by pulling the little girl into her lap. Olivia buried her face into his Susan's chest and sobbed. They both sat that way for several minutes. Olivia crying and Susan rubbing her back and saying soothing words.
In a few minutes Carter came up to them. His eyes were watery and his face was crestfallen. "I'm sorry to keep her waiting this long Susan."
"It's okay." Susan whispered, "She's really broken up."
"Yeah," Carter's voice broke, "We all are." He gathered his little daughter into his arms, "I want to take her to see Abby. Thanks again Susan."
"No problem. If you need me again, come find me."
Abby was sitting up in bed staring at the wall when her husband and her daughter came into the room. Olivia ran to Abby jumped up on the bed, and threw her arms around Abby's neck. "I love you Mommy," she cried. This caused the tears to begin to pour down Abby's face.
"I love you too, baby, so, so much." Abby said gently. Carter just stood there watching them his heart was breaking inside. They had longed for this baby, planned for it. Abby had just suffered her third miscarriage in the last two years. He didn't know how much more of this any of them could take.
He finally cleared his throat from the choking tears, "I'm going to go find Weaver and arrange for me to get some time off."
"Okay," was Abby's simple reply. She tried not to look Carter in the face. She had never felt guiltier, more like a failure as a woman and as a mother than she did at this moment. She didn't want to go home, to face the failure. She didn't want to face John. He needed a more complete woman, one who could give him what he wanted. It was painfully obvious to her that she was not that woman.
In a few minutes John returned. He gave her a small smile, "I have a week off. You have as long as you need." John sat down next to her on the hospital bed and pulled Olivia up into his lap. "We can all stay home together and be one big happy family."
Olivia giggled, "Daddy I have school!"
He tousled her hair, "Of course you do squirt. After school we can have fun, play games, watch movies, and just enjoy being together."
Abby had remained silent throughout the entire conversation between her husband and her daughter. She wasn't sure that she wanted John at home constantly for the next week. She really needed time to be alone with her thoughts, to mourn the loss of another child. To think about why she couldn't seem to carry a baby, why God was punishing her this way.
Carter put his hand on her shoulder; he tried to ignore her obvious flinch at his touch. "Do you want me to see if Gamma can keep Livy tonight? That way I can stay here with you. They want you to stay just tonight to make sure that everything completed correctly."
"No, she's been through enough. Take her home, buy her an ice cream, and let her sleep in her own bed. She does have school tomorrow. She will need a good night's rest."
"Abby, I-"
"John! Just trust me." She looked at him, trying hard to keep the tears from flowing down her face, "I will be fine."
"Alright." He could tell that Abby was in no mood for arguing. "Come on kiddo. Let's go. We will stop by Baskin and Robbins on the way home."
"I don't want to leave Mommy. Is she going to be okay?"
"Mommy is going to be fine honey. The Doctors just want her to sleep here tonight just to make sure."
Olivia left Carter's grasp and clung to Abby. "Mommy, I want to stay with you."
"Olivia, look at me." Abby said. Olivia looked down at her lap, "Olivia Lane Carter!" Abby said again sharply. The sharpness in her tone caused Olivia to look up at her Mother in surprise, "Go with your Daddy. I will be fine. Tomorrow when you get home from school, I should be fine."
"Okay, Mommy." Olivia said reluctantly, "but only if you promise."
"I promise."
Carter kissed the top of Abby's head. "We love you." He said, "I will be back in the morning after I drop her off."
"I love you too." Abby mustered a weak smile as she watched them walk out of the room.
Abby lay awake long into the night. She knew, as a nurse, she needed to sleep. But her emotions were winning over her physical needs right now. She kept thinking about the baby that she had just lost. Her baby. John Carter's baby, the baby that they created together. The baby that they had wanted so badly, the little brother or sister for Olivia that she had been asking for since she was two. Three times now they had received the news that they would again be parents. Three times they had told Olivia with happiness on their faces and joy in their hearts. The first two miscarriages had come early. The last one hurt even more because it was in the 13th week, past what is usually known as the danger zone for miscarriages. Abby couldn't believe her own misfortune.
Perhaps God was punishing her for her previous abortion. Perhaps he felt that he was being generous by giving her one child. It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair to punish her husband and her daughter for her sins. She wouldn't allow it. The tears were pouring down her face now. She was glad she was alone. She didn't want anyone to see her in this state of weakness. She leaned over the side of the bed and retched. She didn't even bother to try and make it to the bathroom. It was almost as if the emptying of her stomach was symbolic of emptying her heart. If only it were that easy. She wanted it all to go away.
On the
other side of town, John Carter lay in his bed. The sheets were cold against skin, and he missed Abby. He lay wide-awake staring at the ceiling
going over and over the scenes from the day in his mind. The desperate phone call from Abby during
his shift. The ambulance bringing her
in, Olivia's scared face as she got out of the ambulance. He relived what it felt like when he first realized
the truth that he would not be able to save his child. He wondered if it was a boy. A son.
Or it was another Carter daughter with Olivia's brown curly hair and
deep brown eyes? A single tear trickled
down his cheek. He mourned for the
child that he had wanted so desperately to know. He mourned the chance that was taken from him
Neither of them slept much at
all that night. In the morning, Carter
got Olivia up and off to school. On the
drive to the hospital to be with Abby, he made a decision. They would just have another baby as soon as
possible. He thought the fastest way to
heal both their broken hearts was just to keep trying. He wouldn't let the
heartache get the best of him. He loved his wife. He loved his daughter. Together they could get through this and
have another baby to love.
What he didn't realize was that his wife had come to an entirely different decision. She had decided there would be no more babies. The pain of losing another one would be more than she could bear. She thought it would be better for all of them to just love each other and try not to put them through anymore pain. She obviously had something wrong with her that was making it impossible for her to carry another baby. As much as it broke her heart, it was the truth. Sometimes the hardest thing to live with is the truth. But she knew she must.
