"In The Depths Of Despair "
Disclaimer: I don't own SD guys. Inoue does. :D
Warning: Swearing.
A/N: Eyey. This is my second SD fic! Pls take time to review. Sorry for the errors and OOC-ness. Haha. XD Decided to make this one "R" rated because of suicide attempt. ; Enjoy.
Mitsui Hisashi's POV
I lie down on my bed to think for a minute. Stared at the ever-white ceiling. I wanted to sleep badly that time but the picture of the mess I caused downstairs keeps flashing on my mind and it's just not allowing to. Fuck. So I get up and go downstairs to clean up the mugs and vases I broke just a while ago. 'had a fight with Kaasan. She wants me to quit playing basketball as it just gets me in trouble. How the hell could she say that?! Basketball... is my only happiness. It is where I'm good at. Damn it!
The same thing happened every night for friggin' two consecutive weeks.
One night, it was a little different. Kaasan said things that hurt me so much... that I am a bad son and I don't do anything but give her loads of problems. I was crying when I went back up to my bedroom. Me? Bad? Bad when I fucking quitted my vices and left my gang? I don't know what to do. I'm so pressured. Stressed. Depressed. Should I... --- what's this I see? A cutter. Just on the top of my study desk. I got it quickly. I was feeling suicidal. Life has no use when it's like this anyway. I can barely live each day being like this. I guess it's better to end all my sorrows.
...Kaasan... why quit basketball?...
...i... am a bad son...
... I am useless, helpless...
... I am... not loved at all...
I was on the verge of letting go. The blade was just a centimeter away from the target spot, my pulse. I closed my eyes in preparation... the pain the blade would cause... 3... 2... 1... ---
Just then the phone rang. Darn it! Who could the caller be?
I heard a soft, gentle voice on the end of the line. "Hello. Mitsui-sempai?"
He called me 'sempai' must be a younger comrade. "yeah, what?" I answered back.
"Eh... are you OK? Your voice sounds a bit unusual."
Who the fuck is this? "I'm ok. Wait, who are you?"
"It's me Kaede, sempai."
"Oi Rukawa... What's up? Why'd you call?"
"I don't know. I just felt like calling you. Are you sure you're OK? Cuz I think you're not."
So it's Rukawa. I sighed. "Well, honestly, I'm NOT ok. Had a major clash with Kaasan earlier this evening and I can't take it anymore..." I needed someone to talk to so I told him though we aren't that close in my opinion.
"Mn, I'm just five houses away from you. If you like, you could come over. Maybe I can help you in a way. Like... just having a bud to talk to."
"Yeah sure. I'll be there in 7 minutes." I replied. I needed to sneak out quietly for Kaasan not to catch me. It was just around 9 and Kaasan might still be awake. I reached the Rukawa residence in, what else, 7 minutes.
Kaede opened the door immediately when I rang the doorbell. He smiled at me gently
I smiled back. "7 minutes, I told you."
He ushered me to the living room where he seems to be having a movie marathon all by himself. How lonely. And guess what he's watching... Shrek 2. What a retard.
"I'll go get us some soda, sempai." And he went to the kitchen.
I slumped on the sofa and explored the coffee table. Hmm... A bowl of popcorn, empty soda cans, and DVD's of... hmm... Fuck! Cartoons: Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Shark Tale. I could've burst out laughing but I stopped myself as it's not polite because I'm at someone's house at this time of the night. Rukawa then came back holding 3 cans.
"I needed to clean up the mess in the kitchen." He said as he hand me two cans. The other one soda, and the other one, beer. "I got you beer, too, sempai."
"Uhh..." I put the can of beer down. "I don't drink beer Rukawa."
"OK." He said ok but his expression looked like how-come-sempai-doesn't-drink-beer-what-a-big-liar. "So... What happened between you and your Kaasan?"
"Oh." I didn't know how to start but I went straight to the point anyway. "She wanted me to quit basketball and told me just this evening that I'm a bad son and that I don't do anything but to give her loads of problem."
Rukawa patted me. "Same thing happened to me. At first my parents didn't want me to play basketball but I talked to them sincerely and told them about my passion and love for basketball."
Woah, really? "But I know my Kaasan. She sticks to her own opinion no matter what."
"But you can give it a try..."
what happened earlier that night before Rukawa called flashed in my mind again. I started sobbing... in front of Rukawa. That is totally embarrassing.
"Don't cry sempai!" and he got his handkerchief and wiped my tears. I was touched. I leaned over his shoulder and still cried.
"That time,"I related, "before you called, the cutter blade was just a centimeter away from my pulse. I felt so helpless that time until you called. You just saved me. Having some to cry on feels really good." I leaned closer. I could smell his scent... Very aromatic.
In all of a sudden, Rukawa wrapped his arms around me. And he said in a gentle, understanding voice, "Sempai... What you did, you planned to kill yourself, is absolutely a bad thing to do. You shouldn't run away from your problems. You should solve then by yourself. And pains, they're meant to teach you."
"But I feel so unloved. Nobody loves me..."
He hugged me, tighter. I could feel his own warmth and could almost hear his heart beat. I knew we looked like tangled strings but that didn't matter right now. It felt so good. The next thing he said stunned me...
"What do you call me? Sempai, I like you. I love you." He professed.
I pulled back. "Rukawa..." I never knew that this retard rookie has feelings for me. I never felt anything for him before... but this time, I think I do.
I moved closer again and flung my arms around his neck and without further ado; I gave him a short but lingering and passionate kiss. –And he gave me a longer one.
I slept at his house that night. I woke up early the next day and rushed to get home before Kaasan wakes up. I sneaked in quietly. "Good, she isn't awake yet." I thought to myself. But it surprised me when I saw her in my bedroom, crying. When she saw me, she ran and wrapped her arms around me.
"Hisashi! Where have you been? I was worried all night. I saw a cutter on you sheets. Oh Hisashi, thank God you're safe. I'm sorry... Sorry for all the things I did that made you feel bad."
"That's alright, Kaasan." I replied with a kind smile on my face.
After that, we talked sincerely just like Rukawa advised. And it was effective.
Life can be pretty cruel sometimes but you'll never know... it can get damn better than you could ever imagine. Kaasan won't tell me to quit basketball ever again. After that, she and I sorta got close.
And the retard rookie kitsune?
He's MINE now. :)
END.
