The Zombie Brothers

Kakuzu walked into the dark room, a sole candle burning to light the entire room. No matter the dimness of lighting the man he had come to see was unmistakable. His bright orange hair stuck out in any lighting. He seated himself far away from him. He knew the boundaries he had to set just to meet with this man. "Pain," he said breaking the silence. He had been in this situation before, he knew he had to tread lightly.

The man he had addressed opened his Rinnegan eyes "What is it Kakuzu? Did you kill another one?"

Kakuzu grinned under his mask. It was actually becoming a regular ordeal for these two men. Every week it seemed Pain was giving him a new partner and every week Akatsuki would lose its newest member. Kakuzu chuckled as he shook his head "Not this time, I'm here to report our mission for you this time."

"Oh?" Pain said, this was the first time Kakuzu had heard emotion in the man's voice since they first met. "What did you learn?"

Kakuzu cleared his throat to begin his story. His first mission alongside his newest partner.

XXXXX

The sun was bright. God he hated the brightness. He lowered his head some more to block out the light. He had been waiting for almost three hours for this new member. His new partner. One personally assigned by Pain. He took one glance down the road on both ends. No sign yet. He grumbled to himself and pulled out his Bingo Book, he could have already tracked down another target by now. He hated waiting. If he had to place his impatience on a scale with all the Akatsuki he was the one person you didn't want to keep waiting. Sure Sasori threatened but in the long run which were you more afraid of a pretty boy puppet or an immortal with access to every elemental jutsu. Then he heard the footsteps of an approaching person. He looked up to be met face to face with his new partner "Hey I'm Hidan, you must be my new partner Kakuzu."

"You're late" were the only words out of the masked man's mouth.

Hidan chuckled "Yeah, Pain told me you didn't like to be kept waiting but you see there's this very important-"

Kakuzu stopped his chattering "Your religion? I've heard about it, Pain said you promised it would bring in money."

The other man laughed "Tons of charitable donations for the church of Lord Jashin!"

"Good," Kakuzu barked out ", From now on there will be no more mention of this religion while we are on a mission. Which starts now. I have a very important meeting to get to."

"Ah," Hidan said with a smile ", You're little extracurricular activities take precedence of the affairs of Lord Jashin do they?"

Kakuzu could already tell this relationship was off to a bad start. He glared at his new partner "As a matter of fact they do, my affairs bring Akatsuki money, as treasurer, that matter does take precedence over a small religion that until this morning I knew nothing about."

Hidan glared this time. The two men stood locked in a stare-down until Hidan cracked a smile "You're a funny guy Kakuzu!" then his expression took a sudden change. The smile was gone, in its place was an angry scowl "But take this as our first little promise among partners, ever insult my religion and I'll kill you." Kakuzu chuckled. Hidan was shocked by this insult "Is that funny to you!"

Kakuzu met his eyes again "In fact it is, you see I have a problem killing my partners, for one like you to even think you could kill me, it makes me laugh." He sighed and started walking down the road "Now hurry up, I'm already late." Hidan growled and followed. As the two were walking Kakuzu glanced over at Hidan "Oh," he said making Hidan meet his gaze ", If you ever make me wait again, I'll kill you."

Hidan grinned and nodded "I welcome that Kakuzu." The two continued down the road neither one really wanting to talk to the other.

XXXXX

Pain nodded as this information was given "Certainly a promising first meeting. Tell me Kakuzu, what made you change your mind about killing this one?" Kakuzu laughed out loud. This was the first time the leader had heard this from the man. He had to admit, it was rather frightening. When Kakuzu finished laughing he looked at Pain, ready to continue his story.

XXXXX

Kakuzu and Hidan approached the building side by side. The older man looked at his new partner "Don't get in my way, and be careful this man is very powerful."

Hidan laughed "I should be saying the same to you old man." Kakuzu glared. He pushed open the door. Inside the warehouse was an army of thugs. All of them staring at the new arrivals. Hidan waved his hand "Hey fellas! You mind pointing us to your leader he's a very valuable man you see!" One of the henchmen dropped the box he was carrying and pulled out a few shuriken. He launched them all toward Hidan. The white haired man ducked under one, leaned to avoid the other, and lifted his leg slightly to miss the last. "Alright," he said once the weapons were done ", Have it your way."

In the blink of an eye Hidan rushed into the crowd of thugs waving his scythe and laughing loudly as blood splashed around the room. Kakuzu sighed and walked around the warehouse ducking under kunai and shuriken that had missed Hidan in his wild rampage. He continued his path and eventually arrived at a stairwell. He climbed the stairs calmly, the sounds of Hidan's victims could still be heard. At the top of the stairs was a door that had the words 'Foreman' on it. Kakuzu pushed the door open and was instantly met with a flurry of shuriken and kunai. Each one bounced harmlessly off his hardened skin. He walked into the room and closed the door. The man was standing there with his hand on a sword "I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU GUYS ARE OR WHO YOU'RE WORKING FOR BUT YOU'RE MAKING A HUGE MISTAKE A HUGE FUCKIN' MISTAKE!"

Kakuzu sighed "Honestly sir, I wish it hadn't gone this way. Your men wouldn't have been killed had I had my original plan. Only you would have died. I'm working with a new partner though today and he's very…loud."

The gang boss stared at Kakuzu confused "What the fuck are you talking about!"

Kakuzu sighed and charged his opponent. The man swung his sword. Kakuzu stopped his charge and caught the blade. With his spare hand the man made a hand seal. Kakuzu having heard a great deal about this man's skill with Water based ninjutsu and genjutsu didn't feel like getting caught in such a trap. He extended his arm releasing a few threads to make it longer and punched the man in the face. The sword still in his hand, Kakuzu tossed it aside, he hated using weapons. He walked calmly up to his opponent and grabbed his shirt. He walked to the glass and used his elbow to shatter it. The man in his grasp was starting to come to. It wasn't his hardest punch he just had to incapacitate the man for a moment. Just long enough for him to kill him. He pulled the man up and let him drop out the hole in the glass, head first, toward the ground. When the man's head hit the ground an audible cracking sound filled the room. Kakuzu had also noted Hidan's slaughtering had ended. He saw his new partner down on the ground near the now dead body "Man Kakuzu! I thought you said he was powerful!"

Kakuzu sighed "That isn't the boss!" he cried down to his partner.

Hidan looked up at him confused "What the hell! Then where's the fuckin' boss!" As he finished speaking the wall in front of him exploded outward. Chucks of brick flew through the air. He watched them whiz past. When the dust cleared a massive behemoth of a man stood in the now gaping hole. His arms were the size of small oak trees and his body was a tall as one. Hidan looked up at Kakuzu for a second "That the boss?" All he got for reply was a small nod "Gotcha."

"Who do you guys think you are?" The man's voice matched his body. It was a deep rumble at filled the room.

Hidan smiled at him "We're Akatsuki! And evidently we're short on cash."

Kakuzu jumped to the ground and landed next to Hidan "You're head is worth 2 million ryou."

The giant looked at both of the smaller men in front of him "And you puny things think you can take me in?"

Hidan chuckled "Well geez big guy anyone's puny to a fatass of your caliber!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!"

Hidan smiled brightly and in the nicest, friendliest voice he could muster said, "Fatass."

No more than a second later a massive fist collided with Hidan and he went flying through the warehouse. Kakuzu watched as his body flew through the air and collided with the wall on the opposite side of the building. "At least now I won't get in trouble for killing him" Kakuzu thought. He looked up at the big man "I guess now it's just-"

"THAT FUCKIN HURT!" Both men turned to see a furious Hidan walking toward them. "Oh and I bet you're laughin your ass off eh Kakuzu!"

Kakuzu met him with a very serious expression "It was quite humorous."

The boss laughed "What kind of team are you?"

Hidan turned to him sharply. He gripped his scythe and leapt into action. The boss' eyes widened as Hidan was suddenly at eye range with him. The red scythe flew through the air. The boss raised his hand to defend against it. Hidan grinned as the triple blades all stabbed into his hand. The boss glared and wrapped the metallic rope of the scythe around his hand he swung Hidan around and around and tossed him into the air. He then felt a strong punch hit him in the chest. He stumbled back from the force and looked to see Kakuzu standing there "HELLUVA PUNCH KAKUZU!" Hidan yelled down to his partner. Hidan released his scythe and fell gracefully onto the scaffold that went around the warehouse ceiling. He pulled out his long metal spike. He ran around the scaffolding and sliced the metal poles holding the rigging up. Kakuzu seeing his plan jumped away from the giant man. As he did the metal rigging fell on the massive man. Hidan jumped down and landed next to Kakuzu "How's that? Good enough for ya?"

Kakuzu shook his head "No, idiot, look." He pointed toward the giant who had caught the rigging and now had a very pissed off look on his face. "Next time you decide to plan something, actually think about it. He's clearly strong enough to catch that."

Hidan shook his head with a snarl "Yeah, but I didn't think he was fast enough."

"No," Kakuzu said ", You just didn't think."

Hidan growled and turned and ran toward the giant "YEAH WELL MAYBE YOU THINK TO MUCH KAKUZU!" He leapt up and kicked the giant in the face. The big man grunted and swung his hand at Hidan, trying to swat him like a bug. Hidan took the opportunity to grab his scythe from the giant's skin. He jumped off the man and landed on the ground. The giant threw the rigging away and turned to fight Hidan and Kakuzu. Hidan charged again this time not throwing his scythe. He jumped up and ran along the massive chest of the giant. He swung his scythe upward and stabbed the big man in the jaw. The man screamed out and Hidan smiled wickedly as he twisted the blades. "FEEL THE PAIN!" He ripped the scythe from his jaw and swung it viciously laughing as he did "THE ULTIMATE PAIN!" With that he slammed his scythe into the giant's head. He ripped it from the flesh and let the body fall. He then walked casually off the big man and up to Kakuzu "How's that for thinking?"

Kakuzu shook his head "You're still an idiot."

XXXXX

Kakuzu watched Pain's response. The leader nodded "I see," he said as he nodded ", So the two of you earned each other's respect through fighting?"

Kakuzu shook his head "Not exactly," he said plainly ", I still think he's an idiot, and I still want to kill him."

Pain looked at him slightly confused "Then what's the problem?" Kakuzu sighed disappointed in himself and continued his story.

XXXXX

Hidan prepped his ritual. Kakuzu stood off to the side and watched as he posed the giant man in a very intricate position. He crossed his arms "How long does this ritual take? We need to collect on his head soon."

Hidan turned to his partner "Shut the hell up and just sit there!"

Kakuzu sighed and sat down. He pulled out his Bingo Book and a map. He looked over it as Hidan enacted his ritual. Kakuzu decided not to watch it at all. He didn't care about this religion or any other. They all possessed the same kind of people, but at least Hidan's Jashinism actually required killing. He waited for an hour then glanced behind him at Hidan as he finished the ritual "I've been waiting for an hour Hidan."

Hidan turned to him sharply "I said shut the hell up Kakuzu!"

In that second a hand was wrapped around Hidan's throat. Kakuzu was still sitting where he had been before. His threads were extending his reach as he strangled his partner "I said before Hidan," he said as his grip tightened and Hidan choked out for air ", If you make me wait, I'll kill you…" with that he squeezed his grip as hard as he could until he felt the bones in Hidan's neck crush beneath him. He tossed Hidan's body aside and stood as he retracted his hand. He started walking toward the door dragging the giant's body when he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He looked and his eyes widened in shock at what he saw. Hidan was standing there with a big grin on his face "Like I said Kakuzu, I welcome you to kill me."

Kakuzu grinned under his mask. Now he knew why Pain personally assigned this one to him. Kakuzu shrugged Hidan off and kept walking toward the door "Let's go already Hidan, you've kept me waiting long enough."

"What!" Hidan shouted after his partner ", Aren't you even a little impressed!"

Kakuzu kept his head straight "Nope."

XXXXX

Pain chuckled "So you discovered Hidan's ability did you?"

Kakuzu nodded "I know now why you assigned him to me, no matter how many times he pisses me off I can kill him and he'll just keep getting back up."

Pain smirked "Careful Kakuzu, he might just get tired of it one day."

Kakuzu smiled under his mask "If you mean that he'll try and kill me one day, well sir, I welcome it."