Disclaimer: I'm going to take a leaf from Toddfan's book and put my zany quotes here, so I won't forget them. "You get the corresponding face with the corresponding emotion: happy, smile, sad, frown! I can't do it any other way!"

(An: I felt like doing a new X-band. So sue me. I'm gonna have fun with this one! Although it's probably going to be a good deal shorter than the others. I can't promise everyday updates, probably every other, but the chapters should be longer.)

As usual, the X-men were bored. They were sitting around, waiting for the professor to make his big "announcement".

A few minutes later, Xavier came wheeling out. He was looking pretty good for someone who had been twitching and screaming for his tinfoil hat a few days ago. "All right. Now, considering the lengths all of you have gone to revive the X-band without my knowledge, I've decided to be nice and let you remake it." Everyone looked as though they were about to burst into cheers. "A bup bup! Just a second. There's one condition. You have to play at a mutant-rights rally in Washington D.C."

"All right, let meh get this straight," said Rogue, who looked like she might start dancing around on the spot. "You want us to restart the band, go on a road trip, support not gettin' locked up or somethin', and we get publicity? We are so in!"

"I thought you'd say that," said the professor.

Everyone else ignored him. They were too busy partying and what-not.

A FEW HOURS LATER...

"Road TRIP road TRIP road TRIP!!!" This cheer was repeated over and over again by the overly hyper teenage members of the X-band.

"What have we gotten ourselves into?" Ororo asked, looking frightened.

"I'm beginning to wonder that myself, darlin'," Logan agreed.

"So, chere," said Remy, sidling up to Rogue. "Still got dat APLBPN?" (That stands for Abitrarily Placed Little Black Power Negater.)

"Is that General Pengy?" Rogue asked, pointing.

"PENGUIN! Get it away get it away!!!" Remy screamed. "Where is it?" he asked, from his position beneath a table.

"God I love doin' that," Rogue said, smirking.

"Penguin?! Where?" Beast shrieked, and attempted to climb up Ororo. He clung to her head. However, he was much taller than she was and both ended up tipping over.

"Ow..." said Ororo.

"I'm beginning to think this wasn't the best idea either," said the professor. Then he shrugged. "Oh well, can't be helped. Everyone in the bus!"

"You've been at the vodka again, haven't you," said Logan, shaking his head.

"Yep!" cried Xavier and cackled, making his wheelchair go in little circles.

"Oh Lord..." said Rogue.

Everyone got in the bus. Well, that's undercomplicating things a tad.

First, they had to confisticate several items, including: Pyro's lighters, and anything else that made something that even resembled fire, Gambit's bo staff, Pyro's stuffed penguin, Bobby's cell phone and something of his that vibrated that he denied owning, Pyro's pet squirrel, Logan's beer, Remy's beer, Rogue's beer, Pyro's beer... to save time they just took everyone's beer.

Xavier was sitting near the front in a little thingy that held his wheelchair in place. He was wearing a pimp-hat that he'd taken from Roberto and was grinning. He seemed to be humming the theme from "Starsky and Hutch."

The second problem was that his wheelchair came loose. Hank had just started the bus and somehow, he got out of his harness thing and went sliding backwards down the aisle of the bus. "Whee!"

The X-men didn't do anything to stop him, just turned to watch as he passed. Eventually he came to a stop at the end of the bus, where he sat, humming to himself.

"Ok, that was weird," said Ororo. "Should we strap him back in?"

"It's worth a shot," said Logan with a shrug. "Stop the bus Bobo."

Beast amiably stopped, and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel while Ororo and Logan tried to fix the professor's wheelchair. He was no help; he just cackled madly the whole time while the teenagers stared.

Well, not all of the teenagers, and that was the third problem. Rogue had stolen Pyro's stuffed penguin and was taunting Remy with it, by waving it in his face and squeaking it. "GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!!" Remy yelled, and ran down the aisle of the bus, where he huddled beneath the back seat. Rogue squeaked it one last time.

"You're, like, scaring me Rogue," said Kitty, who edged away. In response, Rogue squeaked the penguin at her. "Really."

Rogue just grinned and reclined in her seat.

"What is up with her?" Kitty wondered aloud.

That brings us to the fourth problem, the reason Rogue wasn't talking. Jean, in an OOC fit of anger, had taken away her power of speech. Rogue was quite cheerful, having projected an image of a naked Wolverine shaving his legs into her head. Jean was huddled in the fetal position. But of course no one knew Rogue couldn't talk, so her cheerful demeanor and penguin-squeaking were rather perplexing. (1)

Rogue grinned at the penguin. Ah can't believe Ah'm enjoyin' this.

And, just to make it a nice number, the fifth problem was Pyro. He was bored. That was putting it lightly. He was bouncing in his seat and twiddling his thumbs. However, by his expression, that wouldn't satisfy him for long.

But, like Jamie, problems have a way of multplying, and these were no exception.

"Route 59, Route 59, where the hell is Route 59 (2)?" Logan asked, messing with the map.

"I think it's upside down," said Ororo.

"Mr. Logan, are we lost?" Jamie asked, peering over his shoulder.

"No, Squirt, we're perfectly fine," said Logan, but he had a nasty twitch under one eye.

"Well... are we there yet?"

"No," said Logan, and flipped the map. "Maybe this way's right."

"Now?"

"No," said Logan, not really paying attention.

"Now?"

"No."

This went on about six more times, until the increasingly frustrated Logan finally snapped.

"Now?"

"NOOOO!!!"

Jamie sat back down and began to cry... loudly.

-snikt-

That was enough to shut Jamie up for a minute or two, but then -smack- and seven Jamies grinned evilly at him. Children of the Corn-esque, they chorused in unison, "Are we there yet? Now now now now now..." ect.

"I'm doomed..."

Rogue shook her head and squeaked her penguin in a reassuring way at Logan.

(Ok... that was nuts... and sort of short... but I'm short on time so toodles... do review.)

(1) I watched the Little Mermaid last night 'cause I was uber-bored... therefore, speechless!cheerful!Rogue.

(2) Anyone who's read "Mutants and Vegetables Just Don't Mix" will get this.