"How does a person know when they are truly in love? Is it how they feel when they are with the person or is it how they feel when they are without the person? Maybe it's both? All I know is that I have found the love of my life. I always knew he was the one. I've known since the moment I first laid eyes on him. He loves me for who I am. There's nothing he wants to change. He's always loved me. He gave me roses when he first asked me out. They really didn't affect my decision. We were in seventh grade and hormones were flying. I would have gone out with any guy who asked. I knew I wasn't pretty. I don't know what caused him to ask me out, he refuses to tell me. We've been going out for almost six and a half years and all the feeling is still there. Most teens can't keep a relationship six weeks, so I guess we're meant to be together. I love him so much that even the threat of being disowned by my parents doesn't bother me. I don't see why I can't marry him. Just because he's black and I'm white, I can't marry him? I'm blind to race. I don't understand what my parents' problem is. I'm allowed to date a black guy, but I can't marry him? So I should just forget being with my soul mate. I can't stand for that. Living on two different continents didn't stop us from loving each other, so why should my parents stop us from being married? It's not like we want to get married right now. We want to wait until we are at least thirty and sure we can make it in the world. My parents always told me that all they ever wanted was for me to be happy. I won't be happy if I can't live out the rest of my life with the guy of my dreams. They say love is blind. For me it is, for my parents it's translucent. They can be blind to love if the guy is white. I would think they would be happy that I chose him. He loves me for who I am. He agrees that sex should be held of until after marriage. He would never abuse me in any way. I found religion because of him. For the first time in my life I feel like I am truly loved; I am able to accept myself for who I am. A teacher once said that you have found your soul mate when you are able to picture yourself thirty years in the future waking up next to them, with their bad breath, and love the moment. I can see that picture clearly. Maybe, I'm a hopeless romantic. Maybe my vision is blurred by the fact that I have never gone out with another boy. I've never been attracted to another guy. I went with a guy friend to prom, to make him feel loved. When we slowed danced I felt so bad that it wasn't my boyfriend. I felt like I was cheating on him. At one point I pretended it was my boyfriend I was dancing with instead of my guy friend. I hope my boyfriend doesn't hate me for that. If I can't marry him in this lifetime, then I'll just have to do it in another one. When two people are destined to be together, they will live as many lifetimes as it takes to be together. I imagine us as the Disney musical Aida. It took them a few lifetimes to be together. I just want to be happy in this lifetime, I guess. I have a letter from him that I take everywhere. It's about how much he loves and misses me. He says that one day he will come to see me. I can't wait for that day. The first thing I'm going to do is kiss him until I almost die from not breathing. I wouldn't mind dying right there. At least I would be in the arms of the man I love. I would die a happy lady. Of course, if I die, so will he. Now that I think about it, we sound a lot like Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. We are two star-crossed lovers on our fearful passage of death-marked love. Maybe it would be better for us to die. Maybe my parents would understand that they have interfered with my happiness. In the movie The Man in the Iron Mask, D'Artagnan tells Anne, "Je sais que vous aimer, c'est trahir la France... mais ne pas vous aimer, c'est trahir mon couer." I can relate to that line, for, to love my boyfriend is a treason against my parents... but not to love him is a treason against my heart. He says he feels the same, so I guess we shall both die treacherous. I wish my parents could just get rid of their fear that we will be judged for being an interracial couple. We know we are judged on a different standard. That is life on this earth. Some people still believe we live is the sixty's. Race is still an issue that needs some work. I want to be on the forefront of the workforce. Nothing will ever change if we don't help it along. We have to stand out in the crowd to be seen. To get things done, we must be different. If people knew what it feel like when he tells me that he love me, I bet they wouldn't be so critical. Every time he says "I love you" I feel like for one tiny moment I'm truly living. No one will ever understand. I know that. I might as well give up on that. It will take a miracle to change humanity. When they set their minds to something there's no changing it. It gets passed down each generation until everyone believes there is no other way. They do not listen to the many voices of change. I guess that one can love someone so much that everyone else wants them to spend a lifetime without the person and be unhappy. I would rather end my lifetime now than spend even one second unhappy. That is just me. You have a brain and can form your own opinion. So, go now and have talks of these sad things: Some shall be pardon'd, some punished: For never was there a story of more woe Than this of Juliet and her Romeo."
