Disclaimer: None of these characters belong to me as you all may know.
A/N: This was just totally random – and useless, really. After all, Brucas is long dead and gone (on OTH anyway). But it's been an idea that has been bugging me for ages, and now that I'm free for a little while, I decided, why the hell not? We all know how Leyton is oh so precious to Mark. And we also know how he built up all the drama about how Peyton MAY die – with the goodbye videos and her telling Brooke to look after Lucas (I actually added that scene here). So I decided, what if she DID die? And what if Brooke helped Lucas take care of Sawyer? And then later, show Sawyer her mother's goodbye videos, the playlist, and then the drawings…?
I kinda got carried away, and I decided to write this. This is the first chapter and I really want to add another so we'll see how it goes! Just tell me what you guys think and if I should continue. Or if I'm just wasting my time. I haven't written a fanfic in ages so I might be a little rusty. My apologies! Just please review and I'll love you all. :)
o-o
Chapter 1
When Brooke went to visit Peyton after work and reached into her bag for the box of chocolates she'd bought as a gift, she realized with some surprise that the door to her friend's room was already open. She tiptoed inside quietly. The bed was empty, the curtains were closed. Brooke dropped the chocolates and closed her eyes. She didn't need to ask any of the nurses to know what had happened.
She quickly made her way to the front lobby, letting her hopes hang around her even though she already knew. But the minute she saw Lucas, his eyes swollen and sorrowful, these hopes began to float off, seeking better odds elsewhere.
"Lucas," she called, fighting to keep her voice even. She was surprised that her voice even carried that far.
He turned around slowly, and Brooke's heart dropped. His face was hard to look at, the sorrow so plain. He was more fragile than she had ever seen him, here with his agony and nothing else. Without saying a word, Brooke wrapped her arms around him, and slowly, she felt his arms fold around her own waist.
There was a long moment of silence, and Lucas was the first to break it. "It happened quickly," he murmured, still holding her.
Brooke swallowed hard, blinking back the tears. "Did you see her?"
"I was there."
"I wish I was there," Brooke said, and a maverick sob escaped her throat.
Lucas nodded slowly and pulled her head under his chin. "You were there," he replied.
o-o
"If anything happens, I want you to take care of Lucas," Peyton suddenly said, making Brooke freeze. Their gazes locked in the mirror. "If when the baby comes, if anything happens – okay?"
"Nothing's going to happen," Brooke insisted, tightening her grip around her friend's wedding dress.
"Brooke–"
"You shouldn't talk like that."
"Honey, we have to talk like this. Okay?" Peyton turned around so that they were standing face to face now. She reached out to hold Brooke's arms. "Everyone else is avoiding it, and I really need you to hear me out."
The pleading look on the blonde's face made Brooke's throat ache. She'd never been able to deny Peyton anything, even when they were younger. "Okay," she finally relented helplessly, her eyes full. "It is just scary, that's all."
"I know," Peyton nodded, tearing up as well. It took her a moment to continue. "But…," she swallowed hard, "I don't want Lucas to be alone. Or our baby. Or you…" she said with a meaningful look.
"Peyton…"
Peyton swallowed hard, taking a minute to collect herself before she looked back at Brooke again. She forced a smile.
The sight made Brooke's heart break.
"Are you scared?" Brooke suddenly asked, fighting to keep her voice even.
"I – I'm scared I'm going to miss it all," Peyton admitted. "My life with Lucas and the baby…" Her voice cracked, rough with emotion. "And my friends and my family. You…"
Brooke nodded, the tears spilling over. "It's not fair."
Peyton smiled before she gently brushed a finger across Brooke's cheek. "Hey," she said, making Brooke look at her again. There was so much love there, it was hopeless to try to stay away. "When I think about everyone else in the world that goes through their life alone? I think of the amazing years I've got to spend with my beautiful, beautiful best friend, Brooke Davis. I kind of feel sorry for everyone else," she suddenly chuckled, and Brooke found herself laughing, too, albeit a little tearfully.
"You're going to ruin our wedding make up, you bitch," she scolded the blonde playfully, dabbing her eyes.
They laughed again. "I'm sorry about that," Peyton smiled, forcing a deep breath.
For a moment, both the friends just stared at each other, and Brooke felt the tears brewing for about the tenth time that evening. "If your stupid, skinny ass goes anywhere before I say it does, we're not best friends anymore," she told the blonde. "You got it?"
"I got it," Peyton nodded obediently.
"Okay."
When their gazes locked again, Brooke found herself memorizing every inch of Peyton's face. The small bump on her nose, the lines that fanned out from the corners of her eyes…her wiry, capable hands…
"I love you," Peyton suddenly said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Brooke nodded, a sob escaping her throat, and she pulled Peyton into another hug. "I love you, too, P Sawyer. I always have and I always will."
o-o
The church was filled with tragic faces, none more than hers, Brooke thought. Many of their former classmates had come, everyone who understood the grandness of Peyton.
Brooke watched as more people poured into the church. Haley walked in a few minutes later with Nathan and then Jamie, her face pale and tight. When she saw Brooke standing alone by the coffin, she hurried to her side at once. "I'm sorry," she murmured, holding Brooke tight, and Brooke nodded into her shoulder, fighting to remain calm.
It was hard to feel the right emotions at the right time. They didn't come at all when you set a place for them, and they sacked you when you weren't ready, when you were innocently flossing your teeth, for example, or eating a bowl of cereal.
From the corner of her eye, Brooke saw Lucas standing to the side with Sawyer in his arms, and fleetingly remembered the promise she'd made to Peyton just hours before the wedding. She couldn't even to begin to fathom how much harder this was for him. Not only had Lucas been the love of Peyton's life in their epic fairy tale, but he'd also been one of her good friends. He was such a friend, Brooke suspected, that all subsequent friends seemed counterfeit in comparison.
"She looks different," Brooke suddenly heard Jamie say, and was surprised to see the five year old still standing beside her. "She looks…happier."
Brooke reached down to take his hand and smiled sadly. "She does, doesn't she, handsome?"
Now that Jamie had mentioned it, Brooke realized that if you looked carefully at Peyton's pale, serene face it seemed as though she was smiling – as if, after all, death had come as a kind friend to lead her to the next world, instead of the grisly phantom we all dreaded.
"She looks like…an angel," Jamie breathed.
And she did. Peyton had always been beautiful, but her beauty had been of the earth, earthly. Death had, in some way, touched and consecrated it – doing what life and love and motherhood joys would have done for her.
As she looked at her old friend through a mist of tears, Brooke thought she saw the face God had meant Peyton to have.
Later, when Lucas handed Sawyer to Brooke so that the little girl's arms wrapped around her neck and her warm, solid form pressed against the length of her chest, Brooke saw a flash of Peyton. But it wasn't beside or even inside the coffin. Brooke saw her in the soft planes of her daughter's precious face.
A/N: I know its short, but its just the beginning. I apologize for any typos and/or grammatical errors. BUT...you know what to do. :)
