How far…?
Emily knew what happened between her and Alison was wrong, she remembered how Alison used her, how she taunted her, how she hurt her. But, even though she knew ti Ali it meant nothing, she also remembered every kiss, every light touch that made her surroundings fade, that took away her voice and made her skin heat up several degrees, every glance , every secret… So, when the asked her, she froze. Every inch of her body felt numb ¿Why? Because she had no idea….
The four of them stood in silence. Emily couldn't belive it ¿Had they really asked her that?
-You don't have to answer if you don't want to- assured Hanna raping her arms around Emilys waist and hugging her.
-We just…Em- Spencer seemed to stumble on her own words, which was bording the imposible for a Hastings, she was very protective of Emily, and dammit she needed to know.
-Em… its okay- Aria gently held her hand and Spencer tangled her fingers in Emilys long hair.
She couldn't react ¿What was she supposed to say?The question rang in her mind once again:
How far did you and Ali go?
How far?
She knew how far they went phisicaly. She remembered the first kiss, the rejection that soon followed. She remembered writing that letter, and how the next day in school Ali ignored her, and then out of nowhere grabbed her hand and took her to an empty classroom . How she pinned her to the wall and kissed her.
She remembered fighting against Ali, trying to push her back, pulling her hair, biting her lower lip. Yes, she remembers fighting back, but, she can also remember the of feel the tear that slid gently from Alis face to hers, she remembers how Ali held her that moment. How she felt vulnerable and how she trembled.
Wait. Alison Delaurentis was scared. Imposible ¿Of what? She didn't know, but, she never asked.
She surrendered.
The next thing she knew she had pinned Ali to the floor, she kissed her with all she had, trailed her hand up and down her back, tangled the other one in her hair… She remembered giving up, because she loved Ali, and she would rather kill herself little by little knowing that it was never going to happen again than see her cry. It continued, Ali never stopped her, she just held on tighter and mimicked her movements .The uncontrollable bliss, clothes on the floor, entangled limbs…
Yes, she remembers exactly how far they went phisicaly.
But , ever though she convinced herlself Ali never loved her. When she remembers how she saw her eyes shine as the looked at eachother that night , she still wonders:
How far..?
