MY EVERYTHING

elle emina


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It was love at first sight.

Cliché as it may sound but I fell in love with Natsume Hyuuga the moment I first laid eyes on him. For me, he embodied perfection. He has the perfect looks, brains, wealth, and power. And with just a single snap of his fingers, he could have anything he wanted.

And so he had me… because he wanted me.

But not because he loved me, no; he wanted me because I equaled him. In the eyes of everyone, Natsume Hyuuga and Mikan Yukihara was the perfect match.

He wanted me because I am a Yukihara. I came from one of the most powerful and richest families in Japan; and with my name connected with his, he would become invincible.

He wanted me because I was the perfect accessory that will complete his persona. He believed that with every successful man, there should be a woman by his side… and I am the perfect one for the role.

But despite all these selfish reasons of his, I still continue loving him even though I knew a cold, power-driven man like him would never return my love. I didn't care at all if he wanted me for all the wrong reasons because for me, just being with him was enough to bring joy into my heart.

I could certainly say that I was completely blinded by love.

The day he and I became husband and wife was the happiest day of my existence. It meant that he was finally mine and mine alone. But I was never really prepared for other women who were persistent on catching his attention regardless that he was already a married man.

I was almost positive that he was cheating behind my back, but I tried to be ignorant. I didn't want to stress him out. Instead, I just played the role of the perfect wife.

In the four years of our marriage, he never showed me any love. In front of other people, he and I would act like we were the perfect couple. But it was all a façade. When he was alone with me, all I could feel from him was his coldness and indifference. He cared for his work more than he cared about me. But still, I stayed by his side and became the obedient wife who followed all his orders without any complaint.

That was how much I love him. I became stupid.

But I guess everything has an end. It was as though all my good senses came back to my head the moment I saw him lying naked with another woman on our bed inside our room.

I stood frozen by the door of our room as I looked at the scene before me, with both of them asleep on the bed. It didn't occur to me immediately that tears were already streaming down my face. I knew even before that moment that he had other women, but I had never caught him until now. And God knows how painful it was to catch my husband cheating on me and see it with my own eyes. It just hurt so much, and right there and then, I knew I've had enough.

I ran out of the room, then out of our house. I went to my parents and told them everything I saw. I told them that I want my marriage to end. They tried to talk me out of it but I told them firmly that I've had enough. I couldn't take being a martyr anymore.

Then next thing I know, before the day ended, I was boarding a plane, leaving everything behind.

It felt like I have lost myself and now, I don't even know who I am and that was because I was blinded by my love for that man. I just realized now that for the past four years that I was married to Natsume Hyuuga, I had been living like a machine. I forgot who I truly was after I became his wife. I lost my identity to him.

I don't know if I could ever forget him but I want to at least prove to myself that there's still something left of me.

I lost my everything to the man who didn't deserve it. I became too stupid for his sake. But someday, I want to show him that I am no longer the woman who he used for his own benefit and treated like an object.

But still, I doubt if I could ever stop loving him…

I am still stupid, because despite everything, I still love him.

:::


November 27, 2009

Author's note: A really short one-shot. Excuse the typos and grammar errors, I was in a rush. I shall edit when I have time. I just want to post this story today because, as you all know, today is Natsume's birthday! :D I just want to write a little something for our dear 'lil Natsu... but it turned out not very happy. heheh. :S

Sequel, anyone? Go leave a review then. :)

--elle emina

P.S. For every review you leave, our dear birthday boy gets a kiss from his ladylove Mikan. ;P (go on, make Natsume happy, treat it as your bday gift to him. :D )