Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" were created by Kajishima Masaki and Hitoshi Okuda, and are Copyright AIC and Pioneer LDC. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

Foreword: This story is set in the Tenchi Universe continuum, some time after the events of "Tenchi Muyo In Love".

Three Cigars

Who controls the past controls information.
Who controls information controls decisions.
Who controls decisions controls the future.

--George Orwell

"Timeline corruption!" Washu came charging out of the door under the stairs. "Into the lab, everybody!"

The Masaki family, by now experienced with sudden crises, reacted instantly. Ryoko zoomed over to Tenchi, laid a hand on each shoulder, and teleported them both to safety. Sasami set down the tray of rice crackers she had been carrying, and dashed for the doorway with Ryo-Ohki hanging on top of her head. Mihoshi leaped leaped up from the couch, headed after Sasami, tripped and planted her face on the tatami matting. Anticipating just such an event, Kiyone and Ayeka swooped in to either side, grabbed an arm apiece, and hustled the blonde into the lab. Kiyone then dropped the arm she held and swung the lab door shut behind them.

"What about Yosho, and my guardians?," Ayeka asked anxiously, as she lowered Mihoshi by her other arm.

"And my Dad?" asked Tenchi. "I know he's at work, but--"

"I'm sorry, there's just not enough time." Washu's fingers were running over the controls of her holographic keyboard. "We'll have to wait until the timeline stabilizes." The glowing yellow mesh of the time-shield went up over the walls of the lab.

It seemed to Tenchi that the next two minutes were like being in a submarine hunted by invisible destroyers. There were ominous noises as the world outside the lab was re-arranged, and several times the yellow mesh seemed to pulse as though something were trying to get through. Washu scanned her instruments intently, while everyone else watched and listened.

Finally, everything was quiet. Most of the group relaxed, seeing that no one had changed or disappeared. But, Washu's face looked grimmer than ever.

"There are major changes outside." The genius scientist announced. "I can't get a fix on the origin of the timeline change, but it's clearly had a tremendous effect. The house looks like it's back to the ruin it was after Kain's attack. Radio traffic is much less than normal. The Internet as we know it is gone. And from what I'm getting, Japan is at war."

"War?" Tenchi echoed. "With who?"

"I don't know yet; I've just been able to pick up blackout orders for the cities." A new set of lights glowed on her control panel. "Uh-oh. We're about to have visitors. There's a group of three men headed towards the house. Ayeka, you're the closest to a traditional Japanese woman, I think you'd better go and see what they want. Ryoko, cover her, but keep out of sight."

"Roger." For once, Ryoko was willing to take orders, since she knew how dangerous time alterations could be.

Ayeka hastily gathered up her hair. "Do you have a scarf I could borrow, Lady Washu?"

"Good idea." Washu opened a sub-space hole and produced a length of dark blue silk. Ayeka took the cloth and tied it over her head, concealing her violet-colored tresses. Walking over to the door, Ayeka straightened her dress, then opened it and stepped through.

It was as bad as she'd feared. The house had plainly been abandoned for years. The furniture was gone, most of the window frames were empty, and dust lay on every surface. It was hard to believe this was the clean and cheerful home they had left just minutes before. Ryoko emerged behind her, and Ayeka heard the other's sharp intake of breath. Then there was the hum of displacing air, and Ayeka knew that Ryoko had teleported into hiding.

A few moments later, there was a voice from just outside the front door. "We are from the Imperial Army! Is anyone here?" The voice was harsh, as if accustomed to being obeyed.

"Yes, I am here." Ayeka answered quickly. "One moment, please." She hurried to the front door, or rather where the front door used to be. Just beyond the doorway were three men dressed in military uniforms, but not those of the Japanese Self-Defense Force. Their outfits looked much like the uniforms of World War II.

"I am Lieutenant Ichiki," the lead man announced. "Who are you, and what is your business here?"

From years of political and diplomatic maneuvering, Ayeka had her story ready. "Greetings to you, gentlemen. I am Aiko Masaki." She had chosen a more common Japanese name so as to invite as little suspicion as possible. "I was sent by the branch of the Masaki clan in Nagoya, to see what became of the members of the family in Okayama. But it seems clear that no one has lived in this house for years." She moved aside to let the soldiers see the interior of the house. "Can you tell me anything of the Masaki's that used to live here?"

She met the eyes of the patrol as appealingly as she could, but every man shook his head. "Strange." The lieutenant said. "We have word that a young man is evading military service by hiding in this area."

"Oh! I hope he is no relative of mine." Ayeka managed to cover her surprise. "Do you know anything about his name?"

"We have no information about that,." Said said the lieutenant. Ayeka's shoulders sagged. She had been hoping for some clue as to what had happened. "It seems that both our searches are in vain. Come, we will escort you back to town."

Ayeka thought quickly. "Thank you for your offer. B, but I cannot return to my clan without having done my utmost. I will look for any old letters that may indicate where my kin may have gone. If I should find any signs of a draft dodger I will report to the army post in town."

"You know your duty, like a true daughter of Japan." The lieutenant gave her a formal bow. "Should you meet this young man, tell him it will be better if he comes in voluntarily. Otherwise, he will be assigned to a Special Attack unit." He turned on his heel. "Squad, march!"

Ayeka stood in the doorway for a little while, giving a polite wave as the patrol moved off. Then she turned, and started a quick search of the inside of the house. Her idea about old letters was worth following up. After a few minutes, she found a drawer in the kitchen that was stuck shut. "Ryoko." She called in a low voice. "Can you help me with this, please?"

Ryoko phased in through the ceiling. "Nice job with those Army guys, Ayeka." She said in an equally quiet voice. "But what's a Special Attack unit?"

"It was the official military term for the Kamikaze squadrons." Ayeka answered grimly. "Evidently Washu was right about Japan being at war."

"We've got trouble." Ryoko nodded. "Okay, what did you want from me?"

"I want to see what's in this drawer." Ayeka pointed. "It might help us find out what's happened to change the timeline so much."

Ryoko took hold of the handle and gave an experimental tug. "Feels like it's warped into place." She set her feet and pulled more seriously. With a screech of splintering wood, the drawer came out. Several old and yellowed pieces of paper were visible, but Ryoko focused for the moment on whether the noise had been heard.

It had. There was the sound of a safety catch being clicked off. "Blaster!" Ryoko shouted, and threw herself against Ayeka, moving them both away from the sound. An energy beam came through the kitchen window, just missing the two and blowing a hole in the opposite wall. Ayeka and Ryoko separated and dove for cover like the combat veterans they were. For a few seconds they crouched low and listened intently. Ryoko's ears picked up movement outside the house. She silently pointed towards the door to the vegetable storage shed, indicating their attacker would try to come in that way.

But what came through the door was a gray object about the size of a closed fist. Flash-bang grenade! Ryoko reacted instantly. She leaped forward, shielding Ayeka, and closed her eyes the instant before the grenade went off. Still, she was hurled across the kitchen, momentarily deafened and stunned.

The attacker charged through the door moments later, holding a blaster carbine cradled against his hip. Ayeka was now on her feet, shielding Ryoko as the ex-space-pirate had shielded her. The princess had just time to see that the intruder was wearing a similar uniform to the three-man patrol she had spoken to, but he was a Wau instead of a human. Then the blaster fired, and her force-field gave off a pulse of light as it absorbed the beam.

"You're only delaying things, Princess Ayeka." The Wau leveled his blaster, and turned a control near the barrel.

Ayeka stared at the Wau's face. "Operative A??"

"No. He died a failure." The Wau sneered. "But I will succeed in my mission. Tell the welcoming committee in Hell you were sent there by Operative B." He fired again, this time with a continuous stream of energy.

Ayeka's shield held it, but she could feel the strain. In a short time, the blaster beam would break through. "Why are you doing this?" She demanded. "Wau and Jurai are at peace!"

"The peace of submission!" The Wau snarled. "But with the Jurai Royal Family and its foul Jurai power gone, the Wau will take their rightful place and lead the galaxy!"

"Rightful? Because you are predators, you are above the rest? But your own leaders have disavowed that belief!" Ayeka tried to make it seem as if she were trying to talk her enemy out of his attack. In truth, she could see the fanaticism in his eyes, and knew that her only chance was to fight back somehow. She tried to gather some of her power for an attack, while still holding her force-field. It was a risky gamble at best, she knew.

"They are wrong!" Operative B shouted over the roar of his blaster. "No one can deny the natural order of things forev--"

But the energy beam that struck his weapon came from Ryoko, not Ayeka. The princess' tactics had bought her the seconds she needed to recover. The Wau staggered backwards, the beam from his blaster stopping instantly. Ayeka's arms shook in relief as the assault on her shield halted.

The next instant, however, a red light came on at the top of the Wau's blaster, and a high-pitched whine began to build inexorably. Ryoko realized what was happening and yelled, "Ayeka! Quick, put your shield around him!"

Comprehension dawned on Operative B and Ayeka at the same instant. But Ayeka was already using her shield, and the Wau had to take a moment to change his grip on his weapon. Even as he brought his arm back to throw, the force-field flickered into existence around him. The blaster left his hands, for one instant on a trajectory towards Ayeka, and then hit the unyielding wall and exploded. Even outside of the shield, there was a thunderclap and a searing burst of light.

Slowly Ayeka lowered her arms, and the force-field shimmered back out of existence. On a blackened circle of the kitchen floor, there was nothing left but charred fragments and twisted scraps of metal. Even Ryoko stared for a few heartbeats.

"Good reflexes, Ayeka." Ryoko finally managed.

"Thank you." Ayeka's throat was dry. "Do you think anyone else heard?"

"I'll scout around. I think we're all right, though -- that flash was inside the house, and we're in a valley." She turned to go.

"Ryoko." Ayeka hesitated just a moment before continuing. "I'm very grateful for what you did. I wouldn't have thought that you would fight so hard to save my life."

Ryoko gave her a cocky smile. "We may have our differences, princess, but when I say I'll cover someone, it's a promise. Besides, it was likely he who tipped the patrol that a 'young man' was around here. I don't forgive people who try to get Tenchi killed." With that, she teleported to the roof.

Ayeka looked back at the remains on the floor with a grimace. Washu was going to want something to analyze.

--------

"You couldn't have captured him alive?" Washu protested. The charred pieces of metal, bone, and cloth did not seem to bother her a bit, although Tenchi, Sasami, and Mihoshi all had queasy expressions on their faces.

"It was his idea to over-drive his blaster." Ryoko answered. "We're lucky nobody noticed."

"I wouldn't call us lucky just yet." Washu shook her head. "The timeline has been badly altered, and we don't know how to change it back. It's a good bet that Operative B traveled into the past, changed history somehow, and then came back to make sure Tenchi, Ayeka, and Yosho were eliminated. But since we don't know what he did, we don't even know where or when to start."

"He wouldn't have talked even if he hadn't been killed." Ryoko countered.

"Do you really think he could have held out on me?" Washu glared at the ex-space-pirate.

"But, Lady Washu," Ayeka tried to be diplomatic, "haven't you been able to track the time changes? After Kain's attack on Tenchi's mother, you were eventually able to narrow down the place and time."

"Not this time." Washu was still irritated. "I still can't detect any significant events. Whatever Operative B did was extraordinarily subtle. He didn't kill anyone -- that would have registered. He didn't introduce any new technology, either. The technology level in this new timeline is less than it used to be. It's like an airplane going into a fog bank and then returning after a while. There are no disturbances to show where or when he went to."

"I see your point," Tenchi tried to mollify the red-headed genius in turn. "But maybe we can start with what we know. What's happened to us in the new timeline?"

"That's a fair question." Washu conceded. "This planet's communications have been changed, but I've been able to access a Galaxy Police beacon. It looks like Ayeka returned to Jurai, and eventually married a nobleman from one of the other powerful Juraian families. Here's a picture from the wedding." The image appeared in mid-air in front of the group.

"Yuck -- pink hair?!" Ryoko patted Ayeka's shoulder. Ayeka looked appalled.

"With Ayeka married off, the Masaki family is concentrating on training Sasami. She's apparently been sent off to an elite boarding school. Something about kitchens not being suitable for princesses."

"They won't let me cook anymore?" Sasami cried.

"Sure looks that way." Washu said grimly.

"What about me?" Ryoko asked, her face looking more and more anxious.

"You're in the Geldar prison asteroid, serving a 290-year sentence. You could get a century off for good behavior, but your behavior hasn't been that good." Washu read the symbols on her holo-display.

"I was captured?" Ryoko's voice went up nearly an octave. "How? Who? It must have been Nagi, pulling some kind of double-cross--"

"Nope." Washu interrupted. "According to this, it was Mihoshi."

"I did?" beamed Mihoshi.

"She did??" Ryoko and Kiyone yelled together.

"It does seem remarkable--" began Washu.

"More like unthinkable!" Ryoko burst out.

"Or inconceivable!" Kiyone added.

"Hmmm . . . " Washu studied her screen intently. "It seems when Ryoko crashed here, she didn't regain consciousness before Mihoshi found her. Mihoshi attempted to treat her injuries, and ended up putting her into a coma for a month. After Ayeka took them back to a GP command post, Mihoshi was promoted, and Kiyone was made her assistant."

"WHAT??" Kiyone practically screamed.

"At least we got to stay together." Mihoshi tried to point out the bright side. Somehow, Kiyone was not cheered.

"There's no record of me," Washu went on, "so the odds are very good I'm still sealed inside that confounded crystal in the cave. That means I need to be very careful leaving the lab. The physical proximity increases the chances of a time paradox."

"Since the rest of us--or our alternates, anyway--are off the planet, it's safer?" Tenchi asked.

"That's right." Washu nodded.

"But what about you, Tenchi?" Sasami had wiped her eyes and partly recovered from the bad news--unlike Kiyone and Ryoko, who were curling into fetal positions.

"That's the worst of all." Washu said in a bleak voice. "No interference with Ryoko, Mihoshi, or Ayeka, and no sign of the Masaki family for years. It's obvious Tenchi was never born."

"No!" cried several voices together.

Ayeka thought for a moment. "Possibly Yosho left before he could marry and have Achika. The house outside has been deserted for a long time. Perhaps these papers may help." Ayeka handed over the yellowed sheets that Ryoko had helped her find.

"Hmm." Washu leafed carefully through them. "These read like someone was already afraid of a government censor. But it looks very much like World War II never completely ended. The British negotiated a treaty giving them back Singapore and the rest of Malaya, but letting Japan keep much of the "Southern Resource Area" -- that would be modern-day Indonesia--and leaving China to its own devices. Then the Soviet Union went to war over Korea and to support the Communist forces. My best guess is that Katsuhito decided he couldn't live in a warlike country any longer, and left to find a more peaceful land. Probably Tibet, which wasn't invaded by China, since much of China is still controlled by Japan."

"But what about America?" Tenchi asked.

"That's the missing piece, all right." Washu said. "There's nothing in here about the United States. I think it's time to fire up Ryo-Ohki and go on some field trips. The first stop is Pearl Harbor."

( To be continued . . . )