Hungary...
Standing side by side the men stood there, staring at her where she was sleeping...having an impossible time trying to even imagine that it was really her...
Matthew had been with her constantly, trying to help her with his medication, locking them out of the room and away from her for a week solid so he, and only he, could care for her just in case the other two might be carrying something while she was sick and easily upset. He'd come out at night, at a distance, to tell them how she was doing, always saying that she could look better but something had improved...he must have been optimistically lying the whole time...
She looked tiny compared to the woman who could bury a frying pan in gilberts head, so delicate laid next to that image of a warrier fighting at Roderichs side...
Her hair had thinned out and her skin looked overly pale, her frame thin and weak beneath the blankets she was buried under...she looked like a troubled child lost in her dreams...
Roderich was the first to cross the space between the doorway and her bed, slowly kneeling there...taking his wifes hand into his...
Matthew had told them that if she was going to come around they would know by that night, but that if she didnt...now would be the time to speak with her, because once things went south she might not be able to anymore. The men took the news with shock and numb acceptance...but now there were no words...seeing her like this with their own eyes silenced them...
It took longer for gilbert to walk over...setting one hand over where the couples' met, the other resting on roderichs shoulder for comfort...this was his lifelong friend...but roderichs wife...it was hard to say whose heart hurt the most at that moment...
"She..."
The prussian looked down at his austrian friend, eyebrows drawing together at the droplet running down the brunettes cheek.
"...she'll be okay...right?"
He expected Roderich to look at matthew for that answer...but instead his eyes sought for hope in the albinos...getting only an unsure and worried nod in return...it was like watching her die in his eyes rather than on the bed...so much more tragic to see what pain she must have been going through mixed in with a breaking heart...
"Yeah...she'll be fine..."
They sat in silence a while...
"...roddy?"
Austria's head snapped up immediantly, the brunettes eyes latching onto his wife's green ones, giving her a releived smile dispite how worried they both were about how tired her voice seemed.
"Yes. Good morning elizaveta."
"Morning...Hey gil..."
"Hey liz."
Gilbert nearly chocked on those two small words, forcing a grin onto his face as best he could.
"You look like hell."
"So do you" she gently shot back, smiling at him a little, almost thankful for his statement. He knew she didnt like the tense situations that much.
"Nonsense, you look lovely dear" roderich said as smooth and gentle as ever, softly kissing the hand he refused to let go of, but instead of stopping at one as he normally would at least five others followed, covering her fingers up to her wrist.
"Thanks roddy...I'm still kinda tired..."
"Then rest dear, get your strength back."
"I don't want to..."
"But-"
"Roddy" she cut him off, the brunette going silent immediantly when green eyes sought out his purple ones...both of them wet now... "...I'm scared..."
At that point neither of them cared about Matthews stupid rules. Gil ran around the bed to sit on that side of it, roderich just climbing straight up and leaning over her, gently kissing her cheek.
"We're here dear. Don't be afraid."
"Yeah liz, the awsome is here to keep you safe! No worries!"
Neither of them wanted to see this...she wasn't supposed to be this little, her hands werent supposed to look so fragile in theirs...she wasn't supposed to start crying like a frightened child, clinging to both of them for dear life...even her grip was fading though...
"D-dont go away"
She was begging them now, trying to pick her head up to return the soft barrage of kisses the austrian was giving her.
"Never Elizaveta...I'll be with you forever. Please relax...rest dear..."
Gil turned his head away from the couple, gritting his teeth to fight back his own tears, cursing the damned things as they shoved past his eyes anyway.
"I love you..."
"I love you too dear...rest...please...you need your strength to get better..."
Damn it roderich. Stop saying that! Gilbert wanted to shout at him to shut him up, already fucked up enough without having to listen to the empty optimism, the hopeful lies were too much...
"Gil"
"What?" He snapped at first...then sighed and turned back to her, leaning over to kiss her cheek to ease away that slightly hurt look. "Sorry...whats up liz?"
He leaned closer when she gestured, softly whispering something...
...his shoulders started to shake, wrapping his arms around her, cradeling her gently but...it felt like his heart, every peice of his soul was clinging to her so tight, refusing to let her go. He felt roderich join him, the brunette holding onto both of them and spreading soft kisses on the hungarians cheek and neck to comfort her quiet whimpers...
Matthew walked forward to gently touch their shoulders...urging gilbert with his soft touch until they both let her lay back down...petting her cheeks and hands to keep contact with her...
She sighed and sniffled...telling them both she loved them before closing her eyes...resting...
"...let her sleep...I'll call you if anything happens" Matthew whispered to them...both men hesitating but letting her hands settle back on the bed, covering her up to her neck to make sure she was warm, each planting a kiss on one of her cheeks before leaving...
Gilbert closed the bedroom door behind them, both men just...standing there...staring away from one another and trying to erase the images of her that way from their minds...
...neither of them could say how they ended up in each others arms, gripping at the other with near bruising strenght...all they knew is that if either let go they were going to break beyond repair...
...ragged breaths and silent tears...
"Roderich! Gilbert!" Matthew ran into the room, both men jerking awake from where they'd fallen asleep on the bed, still clinging until the canadian burst in. "Right now! Come see her now!"
Both of them just sat there a moment, staring at the frightened and sweaty looking doctor...in that silence they hid their hearts away as best they could, bracing for the crippling blow they were going to face...then both leapt off the bed and ran back towards her bedroom...
She was whimpering and panting when they showed up, just barely opening her eyes when they took her hands...smiling and closing them dispite the heavier breaths that were still fast but...weakening...
"...love you guys"
"Elizaveta are...will you be..."
"Liz...I..."
...neither could say anything else...stuck in the deafening silence of the room and the fading breathing...until...the silence was all there was...
"...Liz...liz- gott..." Gil broke first, holding her hand against his face and gripping it, as if trying to hide his tears behind it or somehow make her feel them now...
Roderich just sat there...listening to his best friend pour his heart out...feeling his wifes hand limp in his own...gently laying it back on the bed after a while...
Gil looked up at him when he heard the bed creak, shutting up long enough to watch the brunette stare at her...leaning over her body and inspecting her face...he smiled...the man actually smiled...as if she was, at that moment...thin cold and lost...the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen...
"I love you..." a soft whisper...one that belonged against her ear three years ago after a long night of love making...
"Elizaveta..." his tears gently dripped onto her lips...then he kissed them away...a soft peck...their first kiss all over again... this was like watching their relationship in reverse...it...destroyed him to watch...and to see roderich pull away from her...actually turning his back on her...only to crumple on the floor...
...no human should have to cry like that...
It sounded like...like roderichs very soul was being ripped out of him...but it was quiet...too powerful to need voicing...
Tears were running rivers down gilberts face when he set her hand down, pulling the blanket higher over her...running his fingers over her cheek...
All the times she'd talked about growing a penis as a kid, that traumatizing feel up, the fights they'd get into and how they'd pick on roderich together. How she'd take care of italy and how he'd watch over young germany- holy roman empire...when she gave herself to roderich...when she promised she'd love him too...all those times she'd hit him and argue with him...every small kiss she made him swear never to speak of, watching her drink her husband under the table...
Liz...
"Gil...take care of him...roddy won't make it alone. He needs you...just like I did..."
...okay liz...
He stood up, ignoring the trembling running through him as he moved to sit beside the austrian...setting an arm over his shoulders and pulling the ball of suffering over to lean against him...the pair holding onto one another to let the pain out while still keeping it common between them...
...
