Uhm, yeah, this was born of a completely random conversation Confused and I had. The title came while watching King Of The Hill. Bobby and Joseph are discussing a math problem, and all we heard out of it was, "If you have six puppies and take four away..." She looked at me and asked what happened to those four puppies. All I could get out was a burlap sack and a river... Well, it had us in stitches. The actual story resulted of a long time feud we have. She's EK and I'm EO. So you can imagine how that goes. Well, we got to talking, and we said, "What if Kathy and Olivia just got sick of him and said screw it?" And this was born! Enjoy, and please review!
For The Confused One, cause she knows I simply can't refuse a good challenge, and because she thinks I would never do it. HA! PUPPIES!!!
Disclaimer: Not mine!
SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU
Elliot Stabler was a dead man walking, and he knew it.
In the room in front of him, his wife Kathy and his partner Olivia were talking heatedly, and he had a dark feeling that it was about him. He shuddered.
The door suddenly swung open, and Elliot spun around, coming face to face with his wife of over twenty years. "Hey, Kath..."
She crooked a finger in his direction. "Come in here, Elliot. We have to talk to you."
Nothing good ever followed a phrase like that. He swallowed hard, nodding as he followed her like a death row inmate follows the executioner.
Kathy closed the door behind him and pointed to a chair. "Sit."
He hesitantly sat down, glancing at Olivia. "Hey, Olivia."
She frowned deeply at him, then looked at Kathy.
Kathy crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against the table, staring Elliot down. "Elliot, Olivia and I have been talking for a while. And we have something we need to tell you."
He looked hesitant. "What's that?"
"I'm leaving you."
His jaw dropped. "Wh-what?"
"And I'm transferring to a different SVU," Olivia informed him.
His head jerked toward her so fast that he thought he might have whiplash. "Excuse me?"
Kathy nodded, tapping her fingers against her arm. "We're tired of you yanking us around," she stated as Olivia rose out of her seat. "We're moving on."
"Yanking you around...?"
Olivia slid her arms around Kathy's waist and rested her chin on the blonde woman's shoulder. "You screwed around, El, and we're finished with you." She gently brushed Kathy's blond hair back and kissed her neck.
Elliot leapt out of his chair as he watched his wife and his partner start to make out. What the hell was going on here? He shook his head in disbelief. "What...? No, Liv..." This couldn't be happening. It couldn't.
Kathy smirked as Olivia shrugged and said, "Your loss is my gain."
"You can't..."
"Can't what, El?" Kathy asked sweetly. "I can't secretly divorce you, marry Liv here, and let her adopt our children?"
"No, you can't!"
Olivia laughed. "Too late, Elliot. I already have."
He fell to his knees, shaking his head. "No, no, no!" He pounded his fists against his knees, reeling in disbelief. "No!"
He suddenly shot up in his bed, sweat rolling down his face and his chest heaving. "No!"
Beside him, Kathy stirred and reached out to him. "El?" she murmured sleepily. "What is it?"
He turned his head and looked at her. She was there in his bed, not married to Olivia. He sighed deeply in relief. "Bad dream," he mumbled, settling back against the pillows. "Just a very bad dream."
She yawned. "That reminds me. I invited Olivia to dinner tomorrow night." She rolled onto her opposite side. "Night, El."
He stared up at the ceiling, numb and shocked.
"Good night, Kathy..."
The End!
A/N: Well, that was strange, even for me. Confused, I hope you and everyone else who read this enjoyed. Thanks for reading, and please review!
