Author's Note: I know it's been done over and over again, but I couldn't resist adding my own spin on the missing scene in The Dummy Twins. Title is from the John Mayer song; I was inspired by a line from it. Enjoy…hopefully!
Heartbreak Warfare by Kate811
Niles stormed around his room, tossing every article of clothing, photo, book, and random knickknack into an awaiting box or suitcase. Normally, he would take the time to make sure everything was neat and just so, but that night the usually tidy man did not give a damn about precision and order. No, that night what he wanted was to get the hell out of the Sheffield Mansion, and fast.
A knock on the door startled Niles out of his furious packing, and he groaned.
"Mrs. Sheffield, there's ice cream in the subzero. I'm packing." He called, unable to hide the hoarseness from the sheer exhaustion of his day from his voice.
"It's not Nanny Fine and I don't give a rat's ass about ice cream. Open the damn door, Niles."
Oh. Well that certainly wasn't Mrs. Sheffield.
Niles weighed his options. He could be the gentleman he was raised to be, open the door, and see what she had to say. Or he could ignore her, continue packing, and wait till she broke down the door herself. Hey, he quit. It's not like it was his job to clean up the mess anymore.
"I'll break it down, Niles. I swear I will." CC threatened, and Niles had to smile. He knew her so well.
"Fine. But only because I don't want you to wake up the Sheffield's." He sighed as he made his way over to the door, unlocked and opened it.
God, she was beautiful. While Niles had come out of their heated argument and rushed packing looking like hell, not a hair on CC's head was out of place. While it looked like he had just been caught in a hurricane, it appeared as though she spent the day lounging at the beach.
"You look like crap." She had the courtesy to point out.
Biting back any and all snide remarks, Niles asked, "What the hell do you want, Babcock? If you've come to gloat some more, I can't deal with that just now."
"I did not come to gloat." She held up her hands in a show of surrender.
He eyed her suspiciously.
"I didn't," she insisted. "I came here because I was dropping off my letter of resignation. I figured I'd swing by your room and let you know there's no reason for you to leave, too."
For the first time Niles noticed the folded paper in her hands. She handed it over to him, and upon closer inspection he discovered it was his letter of resignation.
"You read it?" He glared at her.
She shrugged. They both knew it didn't really matter now. After all that had transpired between them, a little invasion of privacy didn't really add any fuel to the fire.
"Seemed a little cold and aloof to me." CC commented.
Niles rolled his eyes. "It was written in haste. I'm trying to get out of here as quickly as possible."
He turned back to the task at hand: packing up his belongings.
CC reached out and touched his arm, a very un-Babcock-like move. "I told you that I'm quitting. You don't have to leave now."
Niles glared down at his arm and she quickly removed her hand, as if she'd been burned.
"Ah, of course. Since you're leaving I should definitely stay! That wouldn't be remotely awkward! No, I'm sure Mrs. Sheffield wouldn't have Miss Toriello over to gossip about my pathetic life every time I leave the room. And I'm sure I'd never catch the pitying glances of the children and Mr. Sheffield. And I'm certain I'd never get asked by Yetta if I had heard about that unfortunate incident Neil had with The Blonde One. Oh and –"
"Okay, okay! You've made your point!" CC interrupted.
"Now if you'll excuse me, if I want to be out of this house by morning I've got some packing to do." Niles nodded towards the door and went back throwing his clothes into a suitcase.
"I'll help you pack."
Stunned, he looked up at her. "Alright, out with it. Why are you being so nice to me? Are you waiting for me to cave in so you can yell 'You're on Candid Camera!' and a whole film crew will come bustling in to laugh at me?"
CC rolled her eyes. "I was just being nice."
"Why? You're never nice." Niles' eyes bore into her and she nervously gulped.
Uncomfortable from his scrutiny, CC looked around the room anxiously.
"Look, do you want me to help or not?"
Niles had to smirk, "You've never been any help to me."
"Exactly," CC grinned.
For the first time in what felt like years, the two shared a sincere laugh…
Which quickly died on their lips as they remembered the last time similar words had been exchanged between them.
Niles cleared his throat. "There are some pictures over there. Here's a box, if you don't mind." He handed her the box and motioned to a shelf on the other side of his room.
He truly believed up until that moment that she'd been joking when she offered to help, but CC merely nodded, took the box, and headed over to where he pointed. He turned back to his suitcase and stared in horror at the mess he had made of his clothes. His frantic mood broken, he set to work carefully folding his clothes. Once a butler, always a butler.
A deep, throaty laugh interrupted him, and he looked up to see CC staring at a picture. Figuring it was one of the ones from his childhood when he was a bit overweight, he simply rolled his eyes at her and went back to his task.
The laughing did not stop.
"What is it, Babcock? Yes, I was slightly tubby as a child, alright?!" Niles huffed defensively.
"No … no it's not one of those pictures," CC stopped to wipe tears of mirth from her eyes.
At his questioning look, she handed him the picture she was talking about. It was from Fran's first Christmas at the Sheffield mansion. She'd insisted on getting a group picture of everyone, including Niles and CC.
Niles had to smile at the picture. Cheesy grins were plastered on the faces of Fran, Maxwell, and the Sheffield children. While it looked like Niles, too, was smiling at the camera, the mischievous glint in his eyes told otherwise, as did the look present on CC's face. She was rolling her eyes and trying hard to fight back a smile.
"You had said it would hopefully be the year Santa brought me a tub of back wax. And then you called me the Abominable Snowman." CC smiled softly at the memory.
Niles chuckled. "And you were responding that I could just take the lump of coal I deserved and shove it up my…well, and then the flash went off and I blessedly never got to hear how you'd finish that sentence."
"I obviously was just going to say 'shove it up your Christmas stocking.'" CC widened her eyes innocently.
"Sure you were," Niles shot her a knowing look.
CC looked like she was about to laugh, but something stopped her.
"What's the matter, Babs? Cat got your tongue? It'd probably be the most action you've seen in years."
"Are you really going to leave, Niles?"
The sudden question and the quiet sadness in which she posed it startled Niles.
"No, I'm just practicing my packing skills for the Sheffield's upcoming holiday in the Hamptons. Wanted to make sure I've still got it."
CC rolled her eyes and turned back to the shelf.
"Why?" Niles asked.
"What do you mean 'Why?'?" She grumbled under her breath, and Niles noticed she wasn't being as careful with his pictures as she was before as she practically threw each frame into the box.
"I mean why do you sound like you care when you clearly don't? That much is obvious after what you've put me through this past week."
She turned back around to face him, the trademark Babcock fire in her eyes back with a vengeance, "Oh excuse me, Niles. Excuse me for saying no to your onslaught of marriage proposals. Forgive me for being a tad shocked when my sworn enemy decides to propose to me out of the blue!"
"It wasn't out of the blue."
"It wasn't?" CC asked mockingly. Then she snapped her fingers as if a thought occurred to her. "Of course! You kissed me…three years ago! That obviously meant you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me! How silly of me! Why didn't I realize that?"
Another sarcastic snap of the fingers, "Oh, that's right, maybe it was because the next day you went right back to insulting my every move: my looks, my weight, my social life. You don't get to make me out to be the bad guy in this, Niles. I shouldn't have recorded your proposal, but do you blame me for thinking the whole thing was just some sick game to you? "
"Then why did you even come back tonight, Babcock? If you think this is all just some 'sick game' why even bother coming here?"
For a moment CC's eyes widened like a deer caught in headlights. Quickly, she composed herself, smoothed out her jacket, and replied, "I told you already. I resigned."
"And? You had to know Mrs. Sheffield would have told me in the morning." Niles pointed out.
"Maybe I wanted to spare your old ear drums from having to listen to Nanny Fine whine about how selfish of me it was to quit on Maxwell."
"That's bullshit, Babcock. You and I both know it. You didn't come here to gloat, you didn't come here to help me pack, you didn't come here to tell me you resigned to 'spare my old ear drums' from Mrs. Sheffield. Why the hell are you here?"
She looked frantically around the room and Niles could tell she was debating whether or not to make a run for it right then and there. He stepped between her and the door and repeated his question.
"Miss Babcock…CC, why are you here?"
The use of her first name got her attention.
"I don't exactly know." She shrugged.
He nodded. He could understand that. There was a lot he didn't know, a lot he'd never understand.
"Maybe…" She trailed off.
"What?"
She sighed, clearly growing frustrated, "Damn it, I really don't know!"
He bit back a knowing smile and sat on the bed patiently waiting for her to continue. Saying her feelings aloud was never a strong point of Babcock's. Speaking her mind to let someone know they were being an idiot or pissing her off? She could do in a heartbeat. This was another story.
She paced back and forth for a little, reminiscent of a caged lion.
"Maybe … maybe you've been the closest thing I've ever really had to a friend. And maybe…I'd miss you, if you left, or something," She finished lamely.
Niles shot her a deadpanned look. She was going to have to do better than that.
"Damn it, Niles, don't look at me like that! We've had a good thing going this past 15 years and then you go and propose and suddenly I'm supposed to know what to say? I don't think it works that way."
"How does it work then?" He shot back.
"I don't know, you're the one with all the answers apparently," She countered.
"As far as I'm concerned I've said what I've needed to say," Niles muttered.
"Oh, okay, Niles. Because as far as I'm concerned," CC imitated sarcastically, "I got some stupid speech about how Maxwell and Nanny Fine are happy and starting a family while I'll end up in rehab. That doesn't really tell me much about how you feel except for the fact that you think I'm still hung up on Maxwell and that I have a drinking problem. Yeah you proposed to me, Niles, but I have no idea where the hell it came from or what the hell it means."
"It means I bloody love you, you idiot!" Niles yelled, a little angrier than he intended.
If CC cared that she was yelled at and called an idiot by her arch-nemesis, she did not show it. Instead, her head snapped up and her eyes went wide as saucers.
"What?" She whispered shakily, not trusting her voice.
Niles sighed. "You infuriate the hell out of me. Most days you make my life utterly miserable. And yet…it's you I seek out throughout the day just to get a rise out of. It's you who can have my blood boiling one minute and in the next have me laughing my ass off. It's you, Babcock. I love you," he said much more gently than his first declaration.
CC continued to look at him in shock, so Niles continued. "I never intended for any of this to happen. Well, that is…I wanted you to know how I felt. Proposing was never part of my plan."
"How?" She finally spoke.
"How what?" he looked at her confusedly.
CC looked down, fiddling with her hands. "How can you love me, Niles? For the past 15 years I have done nothing but belittle every single thing about you. It doesn't make any sense."
Niles smiled softly. "I didn't say it made sense. And I haven't exactly been innocent to the belittling…" he trailed off and had to laugh as CC snorted.
"If it helps, I've grown to enjoy our verbal sparring," He offered up.
She smiled at that. "Me, too."
"Mrs. Sheffield actually suggested it was our own version of foreplay," Niles smirked.
At this, CC blushed and looked down.
"Wasn't it?" Niles asked.
CC ran her hands through her hair, frustrated. "Yes!...No!...Oh, I don't know, Niles. I don't know anything."
Niles smiled. "I'm not exactly an expert on any of this, either. But I meant what I said, Bab…CC. And I really think if we gave this a try, it could be extraordinary. You just have to give it a chance. Say you'll stay and we can figure this out…or leave, and I'll forget you were ever here tonight. And we can both move on with our lives in the morning."
He looked at her full of hope as she mulled it over. After a few moments that seemed an infinity, CC sighed.
"Well," she shrugged. "I'm still here, aren't I?"
She tried to play it off as nonchalantly as possible, but Niles caught the hint of a smile appearing on her face. In a few long strides across the room, he had her in his arms, kissing her with all the passion built up from fifteen years.
When it became necessary to breathe, they broke apart, grinning like fools.
"I have three stipulations," CC said, trying to be as serious as possible…which proved to be very difficult with Niles kissing the sensitive spot just below her ear.
"Make them quick," he demanded hungrily.
"One: I'd like to keep this between us for now. No need to involve the Yenta Brigade in our love lives anymore than they already are. Two…oh stop it! I cannot concentrate with you there!" She shuddered under his touch as his mouth moved lower and his hands fumbled with the buttons on her blouse.
"Anyway, Two: I'm not ready to say…it back yet, Niles. I need you to be a little patient with me, okay? I'm not going anywhere, but…just give me time."
Niles looked up, taking the moment seriously. He knew that confession took as much courage as his "I Love You" had, if not more.
"Deal." He nodded.
She smiled gratefully. "And finally, Three: If we become one of those lovey-dovey, boring couples, I'm out of here. I wasn't kidding when I said I enjoyed our little barbs."
"I think the day we stop fighting is the day pigs fly." Niles chuckled.
"Well then," CC's voice lowered seductively, "I guess I'd better keep an eye on you, swine."
Niles shook his head good-naturedly, took her hand and led her to the bed.
"Gladly, my chicken. Gladly."
I don't care if we don't sleep at all tonight; let's just fix this whole thing now.
I swear to God we're gonna get it right, if you lay your weapon down.
The End!
