a/n: welcome to Noura's anthology!
12 ABY
Corellia
Escapes to the Corellian chalet were really the sweetest of retreats. Whether they took Jaina or not, the time taken away to breathe, relax, and hide away from the larger world was always a cherished privilege. They had brought Jaina here for the first time when she was a few months old, just after her small private christening, and then made a trip to Naboo to visit family there - all time taken advantage of during Leia's maternity leave, and Han's - appropriately relished - utter lack of work commitments.
They had taken two trips here since then, both without Jaina, for various reasons - the primary being to get used to allowing close family and friends to care for her for longer than a day, or a few hours, in case that became necessary in the future, as Leia was fairly sure it would. They had also made promises to each other that they'd still take time away to focus on just their relationship, just their romance, and those two trips fostered that beautifully.
One had been a short trip, just a handful of days, right after Leia lost a barely-there pregnancy and just after Jaina started walking, and one had been longer, for reasons that were two fold: she and Han had both realized that the loft-style of the chalet was dangerous for a mobile toddler, and Han had to fit it with safeguards - railings and the like. The longer trip had also served as a demarcation line for 'next steps' of sorts - taken right after Jaina's second birthday, when Leia had learned that there was likely to be an emergency election for a soon-to-be disgraced Vice Chief of State.
Away from the distractions of every day life, parenthood, family, friends, and the Media, she'd wanted to talk to Han about what their life would look like if she ran for that position in a special election, particularly since he'd been slowly starting to take some strategic contract work and they were still deciding when the best time to have another baby was.
She'd told him she wanted to wait until Jaina was two, but then with the possible election opportunity, that might be bad timing - so they had spent a week and a half toddler-proofing the chalet and discussing their future, and Han said of course he wanted another baby, but he wanted one when Leia felt it was right for her, and she was ready, and Leia sighed, and equivocated, because she wanted the Vice Chief position, but even though she'd wanted space between Jaina and the next, she didn't want too much space - and during one of those nights they were up late, they had at least successfully decided they both thought three kids was a good number, even though Han had kind of said he wanted four - all the while Jaina spent her days being spoiled senseless by Baba and RoRo apparently blissfully unconcerned that her parents were gone.
Her lack of distress over their vacation had chagrined Han to an almost amusing degree, but Leia was relieved by it - and proud. She wanted Jaina to be fully aware of their love for her but independent, as well.
They had come back from that second trip refreshed, and of one mind, that being that Leia would run in the special election, and they'd take the next step after that. She had - with less backlash than she'd expected, considering it was the first time she'd put herself up for an elected position post-Vader reveal - won, stepped into the role of Vice Chief at Mon Mothma's right hand and now - here they were back on Corellia again, Jaina with them for the first time since the additions, giving themselves a little reward of a family vacation after a good, jam-packed six months or so of chaos.
With the special election and Leia's first few months in office as Vice Chief over, things had settled, reverted back to a manageable equilibrium - routines were re-established. Rhythms were found, and fallen into with relative ease. Leia had new, challenging work that advanced her cause without burning her out, Han gradually took more consulting gigs when they interested him, and on his own terms - of course, both of them recognized that the chaos of life changes were made somewhat easier by the fact that Jaina was not an infant. This had all occurred after they had gotten accustomed to letting a caretaker watch her, or friends and family - after she had tried, and enjoyed, a day or two a week in a day program for childhood socializing - and most importantly, after they were accustomed to being a family of three, and had all but gotten over new-parent anxieties and uncertainties.
They were both cautiously - pleasantly, they hoped - aware that a second baby would add a dynamic as of yet untested to their lives, but the balance they had now was as good a time as any to start working on that.
And so, this little trip to Corellia served not only as a reward for what they'd achieved in the new challenges of the past year but - unbeknownst to Jaina - perhaps one of the last times she'd be on these little vacations as an only child. That was, at least, if Leia had as easy a time getting pregnant as she had the previous three times. As it stood right now, she'd been off her contraceptives for three months and was dryly shocked she hadn't conceived yet, given her immediate success in the past.
She had thought it amusing to quip that Han must be losing his virility, but it had bothered him more than she meant for it to, and she still felt a little bad about it. That little rib was probably why he'd felt it was hilarious to announce at dinner last week that he wasn't bringing her back from Corellia until she was knocked up. It hadn't been a state dinner, but it hadn't been strictly family, either.
Those salty little exchanges weren't even real spats, though; just annoying moments that were shrugged off later as part and parcel of a marriage that was well into its sixth year and was stronger than ever.
They had not come to Corellia for the sole purpose of determined procreation - bringing Jaina with them didn't exactly make it a purely adult atmosphere, and the chalet was so open, airy and - well, loft-style - that it resulted in comical logistics in that regard. Han and Leia were used to comical logistics regarding their post-Jaina intimacy though; they had resolved to consider it an adventure, rather than a hassle.
They were here to relax, to be a family, to be alone, and embrace that essential, healthy part of life commonly known as vacation.
The beauty and charm of their Corellian getaway was restorative even when there was no particular need of restoration, and the city outside which it was located was sprawled out enough from Coronet City that when they were recognized - and it was a matter of when, not if, as their profile remained considerably high - it was not by the rabid, scum-running Media outlets that crawled like insects all over Coruscant and some of the other less savory core planets. Here they were more likely to be spotted, gaped at, but left alone while a few excited observers watched them go about their business. Such was not the same on Coruscant - on Coruscant, neither Leia nor Han would have taken Jaina for a casual, leisurely stroll through the street markets as they were doing at this very moment.
There they'd have been stalked by holographers and Media sharks; there they frequented elite private shopping areas and parks, which was paradoxical for Han in that he hated the stuffiness of the blue-blooded upper echelon, but he was also fiercely protective of Jaina's privacy.
Here it was different. Here they were able to be a little freer, more relaxed; they could mingle among working class citizens and other market-goers and embrace some days of idyllic normalcy, of low-stress family outings. It was much like being in or about Theed, on Naboo, or at the village at the edge of the lake country, except on Naboo Leia was treated with extreme reverence due to her connection to their beloved, late queen - here on Corellia, the people gave less of a damn about station and heritage and more of a damn about whether you had honor.
They were rougher, less reverent, but they were good. They were Han's people, and of course, Jaina's people, but Corellia was also dear to Leia because they were her chosen people, of sorts, since she'd taken Corellian citizenship alongside her legacy Alderaanian citizenship rather than establish herself as a Coruscanti.
She loved bringing Jaina here, and she knew Han did, too. Jaina was fascinated by the hustle and bustle of the market, delighted to take it all in, marveling at the things all around her. When they had first taken the speeder down from the mountains and begun their day, she'd been wide-eyed and wary, cautiously watching all of the activity, her eyes darting from being to being as she shrank against Han's shoulder and clung to him almost suspiciously. Leia did not begrudge her that instinct; she'd taught her daughter to be observant and vigilant, even at her young age, and especially circumspect around strangers. She let Jaina come out of her little shell on her own as the spent time among the vendors.
She did - quickly - and it wasn't long after Han let her down, her hand held tightly in his, that she started to get brave and attempt escape in search of solitary adventures multiple times, at which point Leia picked her right back up, shaking her head and sighing.
"You are making a very good argument for a carriage, Jaina," Leia said sternly, touching her nose to the little girl's.
Jaina threw her head back with a gasp. She notoriously hated her carriage. She had never liked it even as a baby. She'd almost always cried in it and exclusively preferred a sling or being carried.
She shook her head dramatically.
"No? No carriage?" Leia asked.
"No," Jaina whined, though she drew the word out as if it had an endless amount of syllables.
"Hmm," Leia teased, holding her square at her stomach, eyebrows raise dramatically. "You keep trying to run away from us, I might make Daddy put you on a leash," she sang, clicking her tongue.
Jaina giggled.
"Like Zozy," she crooned.
"What?" Han said, looking around and down at Leia. He narrowed his eyes. "'M not puttin' her on a leash," he retorted. He turned towards Leia, stepping away from the main walkway and holding his arms out. "Here, lemme carry her. She's heavy," he offered.
Leia shook her head, shifting Jaina to her hip and supporting her firmly with one arm.
"Nice try, hotshot, you had your turn," she retorted.
Han folded his arms and grinned.
"Hey, no one's keepin' tally," he drawled.
"I am," Leia answered dramatically. "You spend more time with her as it is!"
"What about the first forty weeks of her life, huh?" Han joked.
"Doesn't count," Leia dismissed. "If I'd had a choice, you can be damn sure you'd have carried her for twenty."
Han touched his hand to his forehead gallantly, inclining his head in a little mock bow.
"Would if I could," he quipped, with the teasing smirk of a person was clearly thanking the powers that be for not saddling his sex with that burden. He straitened, and gave her a stern look. "Don't come whinin' to me when your tiny princess arms get tired," he warned.
"I won't," Leia said, fluttering her lashes. "I'll put her on the leash, like you do."
Han scowled darkly, and shook his head, muttering under his breath. The whole - leash thing had come of a peculiar incident in which Jaina - at least, as Han told it, and Han was backed up by Yorev, Jaina's nanny, who said she had asked him to do the same thing once - asked to have Zozy's leash clipped to her so she could be like the mooka. Evidently, Yorev's 'no' had been met with Jaina's polite angel side, but Han's 'no' had been met with a knock-down, drag-out tantrum which had only been ended with Han clipped the leash to her shirt and let her run around the living room pretending she was a mooka. Naturally, Bail had dropped by for a visit and seen this, and incredulously thought Han's idea of supervision was leashing Jaina to him like an errant pet.
Leia still found the whole situation utterly hysterical. She thought it was amusing Bail blew it out of proportion and she thought it was amusing Han had been so offended by the idea of just indulging Jaina if she wanted to act like an animal. She was three, for Sith's sake. Leia would rather her pretend she was a mooka than get it into her head to wriggle of the balcony and see if she could fly.
She grinned, and scrunched her nose up at Jaina.
"What tiny princess arms is he talking about, hmm?" She asked, lifting her free arm and flexing it. "You know what kind of strength is in these?"
Jaina mimicked the motion with her hand, and then shrieked in delight, and leaned forward to poke at Leia's muscle. Leia laughed, letting her arm fall lazily.
"This is where we got Zozy, you know," she told Jaina, nodding around with her head. "Daddy brought him home from a vendor in this market," she narrated, stepping closer to Han and looking around fondly.
Jaina put her thumb in her mouth.
"Zozy," she said pleasantly, mumbling around the thumb.
Han removed it from her mouth and rubbed her hand dry on his shirt.
"Stop that," he said sternly.
Jaina took a deep breath, glaring at him.
"Stop that," she fired back, flapping her fingers and thumb at him like she had a puppet on her hand.
Han raised his eyebrows, glancing at Leia.
"Jaina Yvaine," Leia chided softly. "No talking back."
Jaina pursed her lips ruefully and eyed Han intently. She hesitated, and then slowly lifted her hand and started to put her thumb back in her mouth. Han widened his eyes, affronted at the deliberate action, and darted his hand forward, running his fingers over her ribs to tickle her to distraction. Jaina squealed and hunched over towards his hand, giggling wildly, her face flushing with happiness.
"You mockin' me?" he asked, feigning outrage. "Don't mock me," he pretend-growled. "I'm just thinkin' of your teeth!" he defended.
Leia smiled, gently hoisting Jaina up higher so she wouldn't inadvertently flip out of her arms.
"Let's look for a snack," she suggested, glancing up at Han. "Put that oral fixation to some productive use, huh?" she said brightly.
Han snorted. He nodded in agreement, and straightened, looking around. He pointed down the road some.
"Hot food vendors're down there, sorta away from where, y'know, livestock is," he muttered. "And if we keep walkin', we can take her to the nectar and honey fields area, see some butterflies, let her run around a little."
Leia nodded, and Han looked at Jaina seriously.
"Sound good, Jainy-Vaine?" he asked. "Butterflies? Snacks?"
Jaina nodded, and Han started to move, Leia falling into step at his side. Jaina looked at Han's back thoughtfully for a moment, and then whipped her head towards Leia.
"Mama," she said loudly.
"Hmm?"
"I don' wanna snack butter-fies," she said warily.
Leia laughed.
"You get to see the butterflies," she corrected. "You aren't going to eat them."
Jaina squinted her eyes.
"Tell Daddy," she hissed.
Leia nodded mildly.
"Okay," she said. "Han?"
Han turned his head, slightly, one eye catching Leia's as he kept the other trained on the road ahead, leading them through the manageable gatherings of people out and about today in the city.
"Jaina says you're not allowed to eat the butterflies," Leia informed him.
Jaina nodded emphatically.
"Well," Han sighed, catching his daughter's eye. "No promises," he said dramatically, snapping his teeth.
Jaina narrowed her eyes at him, not amused.
"Bad," she told him, baring her teeth.
Han grinned, and stopped, leaning over to press a kiss to her forehead before starting back on their path. She was such a funny little thing - he'd never known kids could be so innocently, charmingly funny, until he'd had his own. Jaina was - mostly - guileless and adorable, and she was always making him smile.
She was figuring out the guile more and more, though.
"He's not bad," Leia whispered to Jaina. "Don't say that. Bad? Tsk, tsk," she clicked her tongue.
Jaina slid her arm around Leia's neck and began to look around, getting absorbed in the sights and sounds again. Han reached behind him slightly and caught Leia's hand, sliding his fingers in between hers tightly.
"What d'you reckon's a good snack for her?" Han asked. "Sweets? Hang on, what're we doin' for dinner?" he asked, frowning thoughtfully.
"You're cooking," Leia retorted.
"Oh, I am, huh?" Han snorted. He shot a glance down at Jaina, shaking his head. "Only reason she keeps me," he said.
"She'll be fine with some fruit," Leia advised, keeping an eye out.
"Yeah," Han agreed. "On the walk back to the speeder, r'mind me to get stuff for dinner," he said.
"I will," Leia said seriously.
Jaina dug her hand into Leia's hair and yanked.
"Mama," she gasped, twisting around and nearly catapulting herself out of Leia's grip. "Snacks!" she announced happily.
Leia halted, her hand jerking out of Han's and flying up to steady Jaina. She gave the three-year-old a mildly annoyed look at the roughhousing, and then winced when she saw the object of Jaina's interest dart away from its vendor's display and rocket into Jaina's grip.
Leia groaned, and Han shook his head, smirking, already making a direct path towards they vendor, a middle-aged man who was squinting in confusion at the situation. Han greeted him in Corellian and then switched to Basic smoothly, reaching into his pocket for his credit chip. He handed the palm-sized disc over, explaining:
"Sorry, my little girl gets kinda excited," he said, "and things just flock to her," he said easily, having done it a few times now – he knew it sounded absurd, and if someone had said it to him ten years ago, he'd have thought it was complete bantha shit, and there was some bizarre witchcraft going on.
But he'd had a force-sensitive daughter for three years. This was pretty run of the mill, and it certainly wasn't witchcraft.
The vendor eyed Han suspiciously for a moment, opening his mouth as if he would protest. He held the credit disc in his hand delicately, and then after a moment, his face changed.
"Ah," he said, his gaze flicking to Leia. He nodded. "You two," he said, recognition dawning. He gestured at Jaina with the disc. "Jedi baby," he said simply.
Leia tilted her head proudly down at Jaina, and nodded to herself.
"Yeah," Han said casually, waiting for his card back, taking when it was offered. "Somethin' like that – guess she liked your treats," he snorted.
"Most children do," the vendor said, nodding at the snack in Jaina's grip. Jaina extended her hand, smiling excitedly. It was something akin to a kebab, but made of sugar-crystal fruit candies and drizzled in chocolate.
Really looking at it for the first time, Leia wanted to groan again – chocolate, sugar, and candy; of course. Han arched his eyebrows at it as well, contemplating the treat. Jaina waved it happily.
"Thank you," she said, in musical, perfect Corellian.
Han looked surprised, but grinned immediately. The vendor grinned as well. He handed over a few napkins, and bowed his head. Leia accepted them gratefully, stepping away with Han to move along. She noticed Han quietly stepped back, had a short conversation with the vendor in his native tongue, and stepped back again after what happened to be another exchange of credits.
When he fell into step beside her again, she glanced at him intently.
"You left him a tip?" she asked.
Han shrugged after a moment.
"'Cause I probably stole from a guy like that when I was a kid," he said gruffly. "Lots a times," he added under his breath.
Leia smiled. She leaned into Han's side for a moment and then turned to Jaina, watching her gnawing on one of the fruits on her kebab – the kebab that Leia decided was surely designed to prop up the pediatric dental industry. She shook her head.
"Can she eat that?" Han snorted. "Or, y'know, should she?"
"Princess Leia!"
Leia did not turn her head. She was so used to strangers yelling her name that she only responded to it if she recognized the voice. She felt Jaina turn and look, though – she was too little not to respond – and Han turned his head, too.
He paused, getting behind Leia a little, and then ushered her foreword.
"I think it was a teenager," he muttered, pointing up ahead. "Don't think they had a holo, just excited - see, it's clearin' up, we can get honeycombs up there, and they'll attract butterflies right to 'er," he explained.
Leia pursed her lips ruefully.
"If 'they' did have a holo, I am sure the whole galaxy will be willing to tell me if Jaina should be allowed to eat this," Leia said blithely.
Han arched a brow, snorting again. Images of Jaina in the media were extremely scarce; she had never appeared at an official event, he and Leia did not release private photos, and most paparazzi knew that the punishment for getting too close resulted in a severe blow to their careers, if not their physical health.
Still, the one or two glimpses that had been broadcasted – captured in public places, of course – had garnered an obnoxious amount of commentary. One of Leia carrying a barefoot Jaina home from the Senate, when Jaina was ten months old, had earned plenty of sneering critique.
As if I'm going to waste time buying shoes for a baby that's not walking, Leia had scoffed.
Jaina kept nibbling, and Leia took her hand and wrapped a napkin around the edge of the kebob so Jaina was holding that, too, in case any of the chocolate sauce melted. She knew it was futile, but she liked acting like she was being attentive.
"I don't think you'll need honeycomb to attract the butterflies," she whispered, smirking. "All that sugar will do it," she teased, tickling Jaina's stomach.
Jaina giggled.
"I think," Leia went on, "we should make Daddy hold the honeycomb, so the butterflies land all over him," she said, "in his haiiir, on his eaaars," she trailed off, peeking at Han.
He pretended to scowl at her over his shoulder. Jaina scrunched up her nose cutely, obviously enamored of the idea. He was about to say something, when this time, his name was shouted through the streets.
"Han Solo!"
This was Corellia though, and Han still had a streak of paranoia in him the size of a continent. He heard his name and he straightened like he'd received an electric shock, grasping Leia's elbow and drawing her behind him sharply.
Finding herself suddenly face-to-face with her husband's back, Leia narrowed her eyes, rolled them, and frowned.
"Han," she muttered, even as she heard a female voice, closer –
"Han Solo, I'll be damned," the woman was saying. "What in the hell are you doin' in a bourgeoisie market in the mountain country? I – who are you hiding?" she broke off, laughing.
Han's hand on Leia's elbow relaxed. He stood aside a little. Leia noticed his shoulders didn't relax, but she stepped around him, taking in the scene. In front of him, hands on her hips with a wry look on her face, was a woman who came about up to his chin, with thick, sleek silver-blonde hair that was pulled into a high half-tail and cascading over her shoulders.
She wore a high-necked violet bodysuit and a short, black cape that reminded Leia of Lando Calrissian, and her eyes were an unnatural turquoise tint – artificial irises. She wore almost no make-up, from what Leia could tell, and had striking, sharp features.
Before Leia could say anything, the woman straightened, her arms sliding down her sides fluidly. She reared back a little in surprise.
"Oh," she said quietly, recognition dawning on her face the same way it had the vendor's – though she looked like she was also suddenly, abruptly remembering that Han Solo had actually married the Princess of Alderaan.
Her vivacity quieted a little, and she folded her arms, inclining her head.
"Your Highness," she said.
Leia tightened her grip on Jaina. Jaina stared at the stranger suspiciously, her teeth bared around one of her candies. Leia gave her a look, shaking her head slightly, gently chastising her in their mental connection. The woman found Jaina's little glare amusing, and after a moment, turned her gaze slyly on Han.
"Are you going to introduce me?" she asked.
Han reached up to rub his jaw, and Leia looked up at him herself. A muscle in his temple twitched, and he nodded, gesturing.
"Mmhmm," he grunted. "Yeah, Leia, this is Naidyne," he introduced. "Naidyne, Leia," he added. He let his finger drift, and it hovered above Jaina's head. "Jaina," he said, and then after a moment, added a little smugly: "Solo. Jaina Solo."
Even in what he perceived to be awkward situations, Han could resist taking pride in that.
The woman – Naidyne – nodded as she gave him an appraising look, and then turned to look at Leia.
"I had heard you had a baby," she said, speaking to Han, but still looking at Leia. "I suppose seeing this," she waved her hands as if to indicate the picture, overall, of Han, with Leia and Jaina, "in the flesh is – somethin' else."
She pursed her lips.
"I knew Han before the academy," she advised Leia.
Han muttered something and reached up to scratch the back of his neck, running his hand through his hair. Naidyne watched him slyly, and Leia noted the movement with interest. She inclined her head politely.
"That would be when he was, let's see," Leia remembered, "twenty-one?"
"Nineteen," Naidyne said smoothly.
She smacked her hands together and put them back on her hips.
"'Course, I'm a few years older than him," she said, adding a wink.
Han gave her a warning look.
"Naidyne, Leia's my wife," he said pointedly.
"I know that," she said blithely. "I am not entirely unaware of the intergalactic news cycle," she retorted. She winked again, mostly at Leia, and then tilted her head at Jaina and pursed her lips in a light kiss. "I may have trouble believing how you ended up, Han, but I am aware."
Leia smiled at her. Han's behavior keyed her into the idea that this was likely an old girlfriend, and Leia had only met one of those before – Sana Starros. That would at least explain Han's discomfort.
"You haven't answered my question," Naidyne said, turning her eyes back on Han.
"We own property up there," he said edgily, waving his hand at the mountains. "Vacation. Takin' Jainy to see the butterfly prairie," he said rapidly. He tilted is head, glaring. "What are you doing here?" he retorted.
Naidyne pursed her lips again, folding her arms, business-like.
"This market sells the best silks," she answered smoothly. "I get my girls the best." She turned her head towards Leia. "I own an escort service," she said bluntly. She leaned closer for a moment, though with obvious respect for Leia's personal space. "Jaina," she murmured. "That's Corellian," she noted.
Leia merely nodded. Han looked down at his feet and cleared his throat, tiling his head to glare at Naidyne. Though Leia had been able to read his wary discomfort throughout the whole encounter, she remained at ease - amused, even - rather than nettled, or irritated, as he clearly expected her to be. She supposed it was natural for him to assume she would feel that way, but her jealousies were dependent on the situation - she knew this woman posed no threat to her at all.
"She's a very lovely little thing," Naidyne said, leaning back from Jaina and nodding. "She looks like both of you."
"Yes, we're in constant competition," Leia remarked, shifting Jaina on her hip.
Jaina rested her head on Leia's shoulder, and Naidyne cut a wry look at Han, shaking her head.
"I won't keep you," she said, smirking. "I wouldn't have barged in if I'd known he was with family – look, Solo's standing here petrified I'm going to say something damning about the old days," she noted, appraising him.
She turned back to Leia, her face assuming a serious expression.
"Your efforts in the protection of sex workers has saved some of my girls a lot of grief," she said firmly. "Thank you," she said, reaching out to touch Leia's arm lightly. "I run a clean house – good health care, all women who are of age, with their own control, there of their own choice," she assured her. "They just like the work."
Leia inclined her head to acknowledge the thanks, and said nothing else. Naidyne leaned a little closer, giving Han a sharp look and arching her brows at Leia. Regardless of her assessment that his woman was not a threat, Leia still carefully refrained from expressing much in public. She was reserved as ever.
Naidyne appeared to hesitate
"Tell me, though – is he any good in the sack?" she asked, her voice low.
Han glared at her, thrusting out hand – evidently, he'd been waiting for something like that.
"Naidyne," he snapped. "My kid – "
Leia ignored his outrage, pursing her lips in surprise. She found it more amusing that Naidyne had to question Han's reputation, considering how he used to brag – oh, how he used to brag. Leia tilted her head to the side. She considered Han slyly, and then grinned.
"He does Corellia proud," she said mildly, without giving too much away.
Naidyne gave her a swift wink, and leaned back. She nodded her head prudently.
"You're welcome," she bit back confidently, snapping her fingers crisply.
She reached out to give Han a slap on the shoulder, waved warmly to Jaina, and nodded at Leia, bowing out of the conversation. Leia watched her slip away into the crowds, delighted, and then turned to look at Han.
He reached up to rub his forehead tensely, and she swore it was because – because he'd –
"Are you blushing, Han?"
Han flung his arm out edgily, waiving his hand.
"No," he muttered, flushing redder.
She looked at him incredulously.
"C'mon," he grunted.
Leia started to speak, but bit her tongue, instead choosing to follow him to the honeycomb vendor, studying his behavior. She paused to purchase a quilt from one of the vendors outside of the balmy butterfly prairie, and only when she had Jaina settled on the blanket, with a tray of honeycomb to attract the butterflies and her candy pulled off the kebab so she wouldn't hurt herself with it, did she hone in on Han again, staring at him critically.
"What did she mean?" Leia asked, leaning close in to whisper as they watched Jaina delicately pick through the rest of her snack. "'You're welcome,'" she quoted.
Han sighed, tilting his head far back. He leaned back on his elbows, scowling.
"We can't come to Corellia anymore," he muttered.
"Han," Leia prodded, poking him in the side.
A thought occurred to her, and she sat up, her legs curled around her. She leaned on one palm, cocking her head.
"Was she…?" she started. "Your…first?"
Han laughed dryly. He shook his head.
"No," he muttered firmly, his eyes darting warily at Jaina. "C'mon, Leia – "
"She doesn't understand," Leia dismissed, glaring at him lightly. "She wasn't?"
Han heaved a dramatic sigh. He bowed his head, touching his chin to his chest, and then lifted it, a pained expression on his face.
"She was," he muttered, cringing a little, "uh, couple after…my 'first'," he said the word a little sheepishly, as if he thought the significance silly, "and she, uh," he trailed off again.
He cleared his throat.
"Look, uh, long story short, I thought I knew where…uh, though I knew my way around the female anatomy and I was," he paused pointedly, "wrong. She…taught me. Set me straight." he winced, shaking his head.
Leia cocked an eyebrow at him, needing little more than that to understand exactly what he meant. She could hardly have expected to be sitting in a butterfly field with her toddler when she find out that Han was intimately mentored by the owner of a brothel.
After a moment of staring at him, she made a dramatic move to get up. Jaina gave her a wide-eyed look at the sudden movement. Han lunged forward and grabbed her wrist.
"Where're you – "
"To thank her, obviously," Leia retorted.
Han growled and yanked he gently back to the quilt, narrowly avoiding covering them both in honeycomb. Leia shrieked softly as he caught her and wrapped her in a tight hug, shaking his head. His skin was still hot, tinged with a blush at the face and neck, and Leia laughed desperately, pressing a kiss to his jaw.
Han stretched out on his side, shaking his head.
"Naidyne," he muttered darkly. "Of all the damn women," he trailed off, looking over at Jaina.
She stood up, abandoning her snack, and was holding a honeycomb aloft examining it. She closed her eyes, and nudged Leia as a butterfly sauntered over and landed lightly on Jaina's hand, its iridescent wings glittering in the sun. Leia, still laughing, quieted a little when she saw it. Jaina opened her eyes, and gasped in delight, turning unsteadily and lifting her hand, showing her parents the butterfly alight there. She looked ready to combust with excitement.
"Daddy," she hissed excitedly.
Han smiled at her, nodding. Leia sat up and held her hands out to Jaina, and their daughter came towards her slowly, balancing the tiny wonder of nature. Han leaned over and rested his head against Leia's thigh, watching.
The 'old days' – as Naidyne had called them. They seemed impossibly far away now; impossibly far away from this life. The man – boy – who'd known Naidyne could never have imagined –
Jaina tripped and smacked her skull against his chin, crashing down to the blanket-covered grass between them. Rubbing his jaw with a grimace, Han sat up rapidly to check on her – Leia had caught her – and was shaking her head affectionately, rolling her eyes.
Watching them, Han was struck with the strongest desire for Leia he'd had in a long time – not that he didn't feel that way about her constantly, but their relationship was more mellow than dramatic, these days.
It was as if coming face to face with any remnant of his old life had reminded him so starkly of what he had now.
"Daddy," Jaina pouted, and Han took her in his arms, rolled over, and held her high above his head, grinning at her to make her feel better.
She immediately dropped the honeycomb on his face, and still, he grinned, accepting the childish act – he was relieved Leia was ready for another baby – he couldn't even put into words how badly he himself wanted another one.
The chalet provided a comical – somewhat endearing – logistical problem for them that Leia really hadn't considered when she purchased it. That problem was – where to put the kid – or kids, as she assumed it would eventually be – particularly when she and Han wanted to, ah, make use of their vacation in the ways married adults often did.
Not that they were strangers to creatively finding ways to be intimate.
The style of the chalet was simply – tricky. It had been tricky to child proof, and it was tricky in terms of achieving privacy. Leia's main concern had been where to put Jaina for bedtime – in terms of 'which decision based on my sexual desire is going to make me the least terrible mother'.
The options were – one, carving her out a little nook upstairs, where their bedroom was, and fashioning a gate around her sleep cot – which was a modified toddler bed that had collapsible rails. Jaina hadn't figured out how to work them with her hands yet, but she could sometimes think them open if she wanted out of bed badly enough.
Two, creating a larger area for her downstairs where the kitchen and fireplace and other open floor space was, though despite the seclusion of their cabin, and the reinforced security on the doors and window, Leia wondered if it was a heinous decision to let her three-year-old sleep alone downstairs while she and her husband screwed around upstairs.
Initially, she and Han had agreed – it was bad form to put Jaina on the first floor while everyone was asleep, and risk her being in danger before them if something, unlikely as it was, happened – a break in or the like.
However, then they had spent most of the night hesitantly fooling around under the covers like a couple of teenagers afraid to get caught, with no real consummation of the act, entirely because Han was paranoid Jaina was going to wake up and see them, and Leia kept questioning which was more traumatic – Jaina sleeping alone downstairs, or Jaina sleeping in the room while her parents had sex?
If she'd been a baby, that might have bothered Leia less, but a three-year-old…
Eventually, Jaina was moved downstairs – which she saw as a grand adventure, corralled as she was in a spacious portable bed that was really more playpen than anything. She got more room downstairs, and Han was actually the one to point out that if any threat came near the house with the intention to harm Jaina, Leia would be awake and ahead of it before it got halfway up the mountain.
Which, she agreed, was true.
She also resolved to bring Zozy with them next time, so he could stay downstairs with Jaina. All in all, downstairs was probably safer – though Han had installed rails around the edges of the loft and a gate at the top of the ladder, Jaina was still curious, and her inability to check her power in the Force got her into odd situations sometimes – Leia didn't want to risk her falling.
And this way, she and Han got a little privacy – even if they did have to be quiet about it.
Early in the morning of their last day on Corellia, Leia lay awake with her eyes half-open, staring lazily at the open balcony doors. She could see the sun rising languidly over the mountains – and no matter how many times she'd laid here and watched that same exquisite scene, she never got tired of it, and it never failed to remind her of their honeymoon.
Jaina had miraculously fallen asleep early last night, hadn't woken up once to dramatically demand a glass of water, and was – again, miraculously – still asleep. Her accomplishments in the night-night department had afforded her parents an uninterrupted night that they hadn't quite experienced since before she was born.
Leia yawned, pressing her back into Han's chest. His heartbeat had finally slowed, and he wasn't breathing so hard anymore. She smiled to herself – she couldn't remember the last time early morning sex had been anything more than a tryst in the shower or a panicked sprint that was racing against Jaina's indignant yells that someone come get her out of her nursery.
Han shifted his head, pressing a kiss to the back of her neck.
"You do somethin' to her?" he asked softly, snorting into her hair. "Put 'er to sleep with the Force?"
Leia shook her head.
"She's just blessing us," she murmured.
Han stretched, then draped his arm around Leia's chest and hugged her closer, burying his face in her hair.
"'M gonna tease her about this when she's older," he threatened gruffly. "To embarrass 'er. Jainy, 'member that time you slept so well that Mommy and Daddy – "
Leia scoffed into her arm.
"Hmm. You're too much of a prude to ever tease your daughter about sex," she accused.
"Prude?" Han mumbled, muffling an outraged squawk. "Me?"
But he didn't necessarily argue that point. Leia hummed, rubbing her foot against his.
"Prude," she repeated affectionately. "I saw you blushing at the market," she sang softly, clicking her tongue. "Naidyne, my kid," she mimicked in a deep voice, giggling softly.
Han grumbled. He ran his hand over her shoulder lightly, and said nothing. Leia took a deep breath, sighing. The past night tumbled through her mind in pleasant flashes, and she smiled to herself. Haa-aan, she thought warmly, thinking of the abrupt, telltale cramp that had awoken her just before dawn, whisper of the Force, that had prompted her to wake him up with a kiss to his ear, urgency in her touch, guess what - !
Leia tilted her head a little, blinking as the sun became brighter, and pursed her lips, shifting to roll onto her back. She drew one leg up, reaching out to draw her fingers from her upper thigh, to her knee, and back. She pursed her lips.
"The thing you do with your mouth, my favorite thing," she murmured innocently.
Han mumbled seductively.
"Did Naidyne teach you that?" Leia quipped, biting her lip wickedly.
Han lifted his head, sliding his hand over her stomach and up to her breast. He let it drift to her shoulder, tilting her head closer to him, and she was a little startled to see a pained look on his face, rather than his usual mild, baleful reaction to her teasing.
"Don't talk about her, Leia," he mumbled. "I don't think about her. I don't think about any woman but you," he said huskily, lowering his forehead to hers. "The things I do to you are what you like," he went on, kissing her jaw, "not some other woman," he murmured, "you."
Leia pursed her lips, noticing the rare sensitivity in his tone. She arched an eyebrow and rolled towards him, touching his jaw gently.
"Han," she whispered, brushing her nose against his. She let his name linger tenderly, and then parted her lips. "Kriff," she swore, "why are you being such a sap?"
He blinked, and then glared at her. He swatted her hand away and caught it in his, pretending to bite her knuckles. She grinned, biting her lip.
"I'm teasing you," she whispered. "I'm not jealous of your past. You know that; you know I don't care that you had other women," she said firmly. She lifted her chin smugly. "I got you. They didn't."
Han shifted, shrugging roughly. He let his head fall back on the pillow, and sighed shortly.
"Sometimes I think I wish it'd only been you," he admitted under his breath.
It was a strange thought he'd had since the other day, after coming face-to-face with Naidyne, and he'd never really had that thought before. He'd also never run into a woman he'd been with when Leia was with him – Sana didn't count; he and Leia hadn't been together when they met.
Leia burrowed close to him, resting on her side, staring at him intently.
"Don't feel that way," she chastised. "It's silly. You had experiences. Value them," she shrugged. "They don't affect me."
Han squinted his eyes thoughtfully.
"You ever wish you'd been with other men?"
Leia groaned at him, rolling her eyes.
"We've had this conversation," she pointed out.
"Minds change."
"No, I don't," Leia said shortly. "I love you, and if I'd loved someone before you, I'm sure I'd have shared that experience without regret, but I didn't. I like my choices and frankly, I am thrilled no one can come up to me in the street and tell my husband how bad I used to be in bed."
Han blinked at her, and then narrowed his eyes.
"Ha, ha," he drawled sarcastically.
She smirked, and tilted her head.
"Han, don't become a prude about sex because you have a daughter," she said softly. "I'm happy with my choices, I'm sure Winter is happy with hers, and Luke with his, you see what I'm saying? If you want to regret the way you treated some women, that's fine, but don't regret that you were with them."
Han rolled onto his back thoughtfully.
"I mighta been a clueless jerk sometimes but I wasn't abusive," he reflected.
Leia rested a hand on his chest, nodding.
"Well, all men are clueless jerks sometimes," she said. "I'll let you in in a secret – so are women."
Han cracked a strained smile.
"S'just, I'd want Jaina to be more like you. Y'know, selective, uh…careful. I don't want her to run into clueless jerks, even."
"Neither do I," Leia said flatly. "She's going to. It would be a blessing if she didn't, but life is life. Whether she's with men, or women, she's going to get hurt, and all we can do is teach her what's healthy and safe and leave shame out of it. So you can't be ashamed of your past."
Han blinked, surprised.
"I'm not," he said. "Ashamed of it." He shrugged, pressing his hand over hers. "I dunno. I just wish I'd had more…that you were the 'only' one for more stuff. For me."
Leia smiled prudently.
"I'm the only woman you've had a child with," she said triumphantly. "That wins."
Han smirked.
"I'm the only woman you've married, the only woman you've bought a house with," she paused, leaning closer, "the only woman you've," she whispered in his ear, harkening back to their honeymoon, and this very bed.
Han laughed, squeezing her hand.
"Oh, yeah," he drawled. "Yeah, we did do that."
"You forgot?" Leia asked in disbelief.
Han laughed again. He shook his head, and reached for her, bringing her face down to kiss her lips. She smiled, curling up at his side. He rolled towards her, tangling their legs up, and she drowned in the kiss for a little while – until she needed to breathe.
She sat up, pushing her hair back loosely, and drew some pillows behind her, leaning back against them. Han sat up next to her, yawning, and lounged there lazily, both of them basking in the sun that sprawled through the window.
He leaned over and kissed her shoulder.
"You're incredible, Sweetheart," he murmured, pressing his forehead into her skin.
Leia smiled primly. She cocked her head, listening for Jaina – still, nothing. Very gently, she checked on her through their connection – felt the steady, sleepy rise and fall of her daughter's breath, and sensed the utter, content peace in her little mind as she dreamt of butterflies and tall grass and happiness.
She drew back, slouching down, and went back to tracing the skin on her leg, letting her hand drift up and down her thigh. She drew inside herself for a moment, analyzing things – months ago, a year almost, actually, she'd come to understand she was capable of identifying the moment of conception, but she was hesitant to voice it.
She didn't want Han to be disappointed if she was wrong – she didn't want to be disappointed. Or, she didn't want it to go like last time, when the knowledge had just lingered, along with the knowledge that it wasn't going to last.
She listened inside herself; she attuned herself to the Force. There was something there, she was sure - but she waited a moment, tentative. The answer came swiftly, but gently, a handful of moments later – there, viable; - her certainty was so sharp that her vision swam, stinging with tears.
She closed her eyes, smiling.
"Leia," Han mumbled into her arm. "What're we gonna do when Jaina's older? This place ain't that big," he pointed out.
She took a deep breath.
"Oh, add onto it," she decided lightly – it was probably for the best. "Keep it cozy, but appropriately homey."
Han nodded, lifting his head. He sat up a little more.
"Can't believe she's not awake," he said dryly, glancing over at the edge of the loft.
Leia laughed softly.
"Shhh, don't question it," she murmured, tilting her head back.
She wanted to laugh suddenly – here they were, marveling over Jaina's sleep achievements, well on their way to being totally out of the woods when it came to late nights, interrupted nights, the whole package – Jaina was weaned, walking, sleeping, and sani-trained, and they'd – start over?
It did make her want to laugh – maybe, she thought dryly, we should have had them closer.
But Jaina was her first, and she'd needed the time to build all the confidence she had now.
Han turned towards her and touched her jaw, turning her face to his for a kiss.
"Well," he mumbled against her lips, "we can't go down there and wake her up," he noted. "We're stuck up here."
"Tragedy," Leia murmured.
Her lashes fluttered, and she pulled back a little, eyeing him intently.
"You think we can handle another one?" she asked quietly.
Han tilted his head, smirking. He nodded smugly.
"Think we done pretty damn good with Jainy so far," he said.
"How do you figure?" Leia teased lightly.
"Well," Han said, with a seriously furrowed brow. "She's alive."
She laughed.
"Touché," she agreed.
She reached for his hand, sliding her fingers in-between his and drawing his hand up to kiss his knuckles.
"I believe I made a promise to you last time, to tell you first the next time," she murmured. "The night it happened."
"You did," Han agreed, shooting her a look, narrowly.
Leia slid his hand down her chest to her stomach, resting it over her abdomen firmly.
"There's another 'only,' for you," she said. "I'm the only woman you've had two babies with."
Han looked at their hands for a moment, his head cocked. He looked up at her, studied her face intently, his brows rising slowly.
"You're…?"
Leia nodded.
"Yes," she said softly, raising her shoulders. "Pregnant."
Han flattened his hand against her abdomen protectively; looking down, then up at her, intense awe written all over his features.
"You know – how…last night?" he asked, his head tilting to the other side. "You can know…?" he asked, remembering how early she'd known with Jaina, and how connected she'd been during the almost-nothing after Jaina.
Leia nodded again.
"And, ah," Han started. "It's okay? It's going to be – okay?"
"Yes," Leia said softly again, confident in it. "This one will be okay."
Han drew her closer, kissing her jaw, and her cheek, and the top of her head. He wrapped his arms around her in a hug.
"That's good, Sweetheart," he said huskily. "That's so good."
She smiled, accepting the hug, and snuggling into his grip.
"I hope Jaina isn't too offended," she quipped.
Han mumbled into her hair, holding her tightly. He rested his cheek on her head, and then laughed, the sound of it rumbling through his chest.
"Man of my word," he joked. "I told Bail I wasn't bringing you back 'til you were knocked up."
Leia laughed quietly, reveling in the affection he was showering on her. The beauty of the second time around was, she felt none of the anxious uncertainty or daunting fear she'd felt the first time – just contentment, and confidence, because she knew how to be a baby.
She didn't know how to be a mother of two, but she and Han could learn that next step in parenthood together – at least, for now, they both knew they could keep a baby alive, happy, and well until she was three, so this new one would reap the benefits of that. This was serendipitous, perfect timing – and Leia was thrilled with the moment, because it wasn't until last night, when Jaina had restlessly scrambled out of her arms in the rocking chair and insisted on putting herself in her bed instead of letting Leia rock her and carry her, that she'd realized how badly she, too, was ready for another baby.
- alexandra
story #387
