Mission Valentine
Seme Squad
Ishizu paused on her way into the kitchen, wondering if she really wanted to turn around and make sure her glance had revealed what was really in her family room or whether she'd been imagining things. After a few minutes, her curiosity got the better of her, and she took a few steps back and peeked into her family room. Sighing sadly, she took yet another step back, resigned to her fate.
Because she had seen Marik, Bakura, Yami, and Seto Kaiba sitting unattended by their boyfriends in her family room.
Crossing her arms, she frowned and took a step into her family room. "And to what do I owe the honor of having four not entirely sane men much larger than me sitting in my family room?"
The four men turned their eyes on her and were silent for a few moments, before Yami stood and clasped his hands behind his back. "We have all come to a consensus. We have all decided to do something for our hikaris—" Here, Seto cleared his throat loudly. "…Or our 'significant others,'" the former Pharaoh added, rolling his eyes. "On Valentine's Day. We have all decided that we would like to cook. …We have all, also, decided that we need help to do that, because…"
"We just sent my kitchen up in smoke," Seto finished. "And the insurance agency has informed me that I'll have to insure my kitchen separately from the rest of my mansion, and my policies have gone up. …Joey has also made me promise never to be unattended in a kitchen ever again, and if I ever have one of the yamis with me, I need to have another person to attend per yami."
Ishizu narrowed her eyes slightly. "…And how much damage, exactly, did you do to your kitchen?"
"One of the walls is gone, and partially the roof. There's a team of construction workers getting it back in working order as we speak."
There was silence again, as she wondered what she would have to suffer if she said no—and if she said yes. She knew for a fact that Bakura and Marik couldn't cook. She had seen the results of such adventures. She had also heard of the horror stories of Seto and Yami cooking. She hadn't believed it until she'd seen both of them dueling each other, both with second-degree burns on his arms. …And she'd seen Joey pale at the thought of eating Yami Food.
Plus, she'd seen all four lighter halves with bandaged fingers and singed eyebrows from trying to teach them themselves.
Narrowing her eyes again, she placed her hands on her hips. "I assume you are asking me to teach you. Give me one reason why I should, after seeing the results of your beloveds' tries."
"Because you're mean and won't coddle us," Marik replied instantly. "Our hikaris are too sweet and kind to be firm with us. …They are also too afraid to point out that we've done something wrong."
"Plus, you're a very good cook," Bakura added.
Ishizu sighed; if Bakura and Marik were going to resort to flattery and reason, and if Yami and Seto were going to agree with each other and ask for help, she knew that if she didn't help them, they'd find help elsewhere. …Help that… might not have good intentions.
She'd seen both Seto and Joey sent to the hospital from being poisoned, and there were tons of people out to get the King of Games. …With Marik and Bakura, they just didn't know who all they'd pissed off.
She comforted herself with the knowledge that Malik, Ryou, Yugi, and Joey would appreciate her efforts.
Especially if she died in battle.
.-.-.-.-.-.
"…Odion? Is that smoke?" Malik asked worriedly, and his older brother hurriedly ushered him and his friends away.
"Your sister is trying out something new in the kitchen and missed a step," Odion replied, and it wasn't necessarily a lie. Someone had missed a step in whatever their chosen recipe was, and had caused a fire—luckily, Ishizu had been there with the fire extinguisher. Sometimes that Millennium Necklace came in really handy. "Ishizu would like you to spend the night at a friend's house tonight."
The younger boy frowned in concern. "What about you?"
"I am to help make sure that she does not miss another step." This was also not a complete lie. Ishizu had assigned him to watch over Marik and Bakura—the two that had seemed… more capable in the kitchen (read: not completely hopeless). …Marik and Bakura being good had been completely unexpected, though.
"…Okay, if you say so…" Malik frowned, then looked up at his friends in concern. "It must be some sort of European dish. She says they have too many steps."
Joey smiled and ruffled his hair. "It's a good thing you and Ryou are nearly the same size. You can borrow his clothes and then we can go to Yugi's for a sleepover."
Yugi nodded in agreement. "That sounds good to me."
"I wouldn't mind," Ryou added.
"…Okay…" Malik crossed his arms thoughtfully. "…I hope she isn't cooking anything with alcohol. That would just suck."
.-.-.-.-.-.
Ishizu crossed her arms and glared. Odion scrubbed something off the ceiling in the background.
The four men at least had the decency to look ashamed. Her dress was covered with splatters, her hair had fallen out of its strict wrappings, and there was a black, ashy smudge on the side of her face from one of the explosions. Still, despite her current disorderly appearance, she looked like an angry queen whose realm had just been attacked.
And let's face it. It sort of was.
"Um… thanks, Ishizu." Yami grimaced a little as he smiled.
Seto winced and rubbed the back of his head. "…I… I'll send some of the maids over to help you clean."
"You're welcome. …Please do," she stated coldly, then snapped her arm out to point behind them. "Get out! And never come back!"
They took their leave. Quickly.
