Disclaimer: Twilight characters are property of S. Meyers. I'm just glad she lets me terrorize them. Story based on the song "The Nite After Christmas" by Homer and Jethro.
The Nite After Christmas
T'was the night after Christmas and all through the house;
Not a vampire was stirrin', for they had no need for spoons.
Cullens baggy Christmas stockings was lyin' on the floor;
The empty Christmas wrappin' looked like they all had went to war.
The vampires weren't nestled or snuggled int her beds;
They went a-belly-whoppin' down Esme's newly refurbished stairs on their sleds.
Then Alice tried on her Christmas hat and felt just like a queen;
Till the Rosalie found out how much it cost and nearly busted a seam.
Emmett jumped up on the roof top and looked up into the sky;
He thought he drained one of Santa's reindeers and he insisted he could fly.
He hollered out, "Hey Blitzen, why don't you wait for me?"
Then landed right smack in the middle of an old pine tree.
Jasper was paradin' up and down the hall;
A-breakin' in new slippers a half a size to small.
Edward and Bella were fightin' toe to toe;
He caught her a kissin' Jacob beneath the mistletoe.
Then Carlisle got out his squirrel gun, the one he got from Esme.
Now he was only cleanin' it, but blasted down the wall.
Then she started cryin' an' Esme said, "Can't you see?
Christmas comes but once a year an' that's enough for me."
And then from in the fireplace there rose up such a clatter.
We ghosted into the living room to see what was the matter.
The chimney was a-shakin'. The soot fell all about.
A voice within was bellerin', "Won't someone let me out?"
We looked up on the rooftop, an' much to our surprise,
We saw eight little reindeer but no one there to drive.
Then Carlisle poked up the chimney. He used a great big stick,
An' all at once came tumblin' down a feller called Saint Nick,
All covered up with ashes from his head right to his foot,
An' when he spoke, from out his beard fell twenty pounds o' soot.
"Since Christmas Eve I've been in there. I'd like to make it clear:
If you don't get your chimney fixed, I won't be back next year."
An' then as quick as lightnin', he sprang up to his sleigh.
He gave a little whistle an' soon was on his way.
But we could hear him holler as he drove out o' sight:
"A merry Christmas to you all, and to you all—goo-oo-ood night!"
A/N: I want to wish everyone a :
Merry Christmas
Mele Kalikimaka
Feliz Navidad
Gledelig Jul
Joyeux Noel
Hristos se rodi
Buone Fese Natalizie
Froehliche Weihnachten
Happy Holidays folks, wherever you may be!
Cullen Cousin
XOXO
