Maybe he missed her.
Maybe the fact that she was gallivanting around in Europe made him miss her. She wasn't there, and that caused a problem for him. He needed some perspective from her, and he needed it now. There was only one problem: She wasn't there.
Last week at the graduation, he asked for her opinion. He didn't get the answer he wanted from her. He wanted her to tell him not to go. Then, he had the dream; the dream of all dreams. She told him not to get engaged. He didn't understand. The he awoke. And that was the end of it.
Maybe he missed her.
Maybe that's why he had the dream. He'd thought about it for a week and still hadn't come up with a logical reason as to why had had it except this: Maybe he missed her.
His bags were packed, sitting stiffly by the door. His belongings were all stored away in these bags. He had checked them at least five times already to make sure everything he needed was in them. Everything was ready. He heard the honking car, signaling that it was time to go. He heard it once again, but he couldn't move. He just sat at the edge of the bed, staring at the bags and thinking about her. The memories they shared together were floating around in his head. And then his mind came back to that one thought:
Maybe he missed her.
He needed to know what she really thought. The honking persisted. He could hear her yelling his name to come down. But she was the last thing he wanted to think about. All he wanted to do was see Lorelai. And that's when he realized that he couldn't go on this trip with Nicole. He slowly stood up and walked to the door, pausing only for a few moments to think of what he would say to her.
He had to tell her that he couldn't go. He knew that she would ask why. Who wouldn't? And he would have to tell her one word: Lorelai. Of course, she would be confused, and ask him what she had to do with anything. And he'd have to tell her that he missed her and all of the thoughts that were rolling around in his mind about her.
She'd be stunned, standing there in a chilly silence. He'd feel horrible for hurting her. That wasn't his intention. He just felt as if it wouldn't be fair to her to have him be with her, but thinking about someone else. They would say goodbye and he would go on thinking about her. It was something he always liked to do.
Just as he was predicting what was to come, he realized something. He missed her. He truly missed her. There was no doubt in his mind now. He bravely marched down the stairs and, as he had anticipated, she was heartbroken. They parted without too harsh of words, and he watched her as she walked across the street, down the sidewalk, and out of sight. He couldn't help but feel bad. He had led her on for so long. He didn't even know he had really been leading her on so much until that day.
He wanted to call Lorelai right then and tell her everything. But then a new set of words popped into his head: Patience is a virtue. He decided that he should wait until she came back from Europe to tell her. He was going to tell her everything. But it would be hard for him to wait so long. He knew it would be, because he missed her. So he would wait. He leisurely walked up the stairs to his apartment, smiling all the way, because he realized something that he had known all along, but just figured it out: He loved her.
He truly loved her.
Okay, my philosophy on reviews is the same as Sherry's opinion on gifts: They are not necessary, but always appreciated.
