I haven't written a one-shot in awhile and i was listening to the song "The Harold Song" by Ke$ha and it inspired me to write this. I actaully really liked writing this story, its different from my others and i hope you like it :)

-Also if you have or haven't read my story Everything Always Matters; I'd love it if you read it. I wanna update it soon but i'd really want like one more review for it before i do, I asked for 6 and i have 5 so far so if you want that story updated sooner rather than later please consider reviewing it, it would mean a lot to me if you did.


When I broke up with him, I never expected it to hurt this much…

One Month Ago

"Troy, I don't think we should see each other anymore"

"What? Why?" He asked me and the look in his eyes almost broke me down as he looked like he had been taken completely off guard with what I had to say. It almost made me change my mind, but I didn't because I knew I had to stay strong and hold my ground.

"I- I just don't think us is working anymore"

"What do you mean we're not working anymore, I thought everything was going fine. Just yesterday you said that you loved me and couldn't see yourself with anyone but me, and now you're breaking up with me?" He asked me desperately looking like he was about to cry.

"Well I guess feelings change…" I started to say to him and looking into his eyes I saw his heart break and I started to tear up "Troy… I do love you, I just can't be with you anymore… I'm sorry" and with that I took off running in the other direction. I couldn't bear to look at him anymore knowing that I was hurting him this much, but to me it just had to be done.

Present

Looking back on the break-up there's one thing I regret, and that's lying to Troy about why I ended things with him. I didn't break up with him because we weren't working anymore, that was the farthest thing from the truth.

I broke up with him because I thought it'd be easier than waiting till the end of summer. We're both supposed to be going to separate colleges in the fall and honestly I'm really not sure if I could handle a long distance relationship. So I figure if I broke things off sooner rather than later it would give me more time to heal…but that was just a huge mistake.

Honestly I probably miss him more than I ever thought I would or I should say I didn't think I'd still be hurting this much after a month of us not being together. Like I literally miss everything about him, his soft lips against mine when we'd kiss, the feel of his white sheets on his bed that we'd lay in each other's arms on, and the feel of his slight stubble against my cheeks among every other thing I missed about him.

I haven't had a good night sleep since we've broken up. I can barely fall asleep and when I do all I dream about is him, some good dreams and some not so good dreams. Even when I think I'm not dreaming about him apparently I am. Sharpay had me sleepover her house last week and I really thought I might get some real sleep that night and I woke up not remembering my dream and thought that was a good sign that maybe I was finally moving past, but that was quickly realized to not be true as Sharpay informed me that I was mumbling Troy's name in my sleep all night.

It's weird, I thought that breaking up with him would make me forget about him, but it's only made me think about him every moment that I can. Everything pretty much reminds me of him, I'll see random strangers on the street and I'll look at them and their faces are instantly covered with the image of his face.

Every day that I walk around now it kills me because I have to pretend that I'm ok. I have to act like I'm ok because this is what I wanted. I wanted to be able to get away from him now because I thought I'd be easier this way, a clean break now, rather than waiting for the inevitable break-up later. I hate being in the daylight now because people can see me, but they don't see me every night when I turn the lights off and the tears that stream down my cheeks from the pain I feel in my heart.

The pain that I feel when I think about him hurts so much that at this point I'd rather live in a world without him, than in a world where he is and we're not speaking. So what that means is that I can't be here anymore if I'm not with him.

My plan is to end things so that I don't have to hurt anymore. I know killing myself is really drastic, but at this point I can't handle being without him. I know some of you will probably say why don't you just go get back together with him, you know he'll say yes. Well my answer to that would be I couldn't take the rejection if he turned me down. If he turned me down I would just breakdown even more than I already have and the last thing I want is to breakdown right in front of him.

Tonight is the night I've decided to end things. I'm going to the bridge that goes over the Rio Grande River and I'm going to jump. It's the quickest way I can think of that doesn't involve me physically harming myself in anyway. I figure that jumping ends things quickly and I'll hit the freezing cold water and just drown. It's simple and that's all that I need.

As I'm walking down the road to the bridge memories of me and Troy flash across my mind. I remember the time we wanted go to the All-American Rejects concert but neither of us had enough money to buy tickets so we decided to sneak in. We got to where the concert was to be held and literally crawled through a hole in the fence to get into the concert.

I will say that getting through the hole wasn't the easiest thing in the world but once we got into the concert I literally had one of the best nights of my life that night. Dancing to the songs with Troy's arms around me from behind dancing with me, I couldn't have been happier than in that moment.

Another memory that comes to mind of one of the happier moments of my life was spring break last year when Troy took me to New York for the week. The last day we were there we went to the shore and were lying in the sand in each other's arms watching the sunset. We were laying there and it was the first time I thought about our future and that I might actually want to spend the rest of my life with him.

When I was with him that night people watching us probably thought we were intoxicated. I might have agreed with them but the truth was we weren't intoxicated the way that they thought we were, the truth was the only thing were drunk off of was each other.

I would have given anything to have that feeling at this moment, or some kind of feeling other than being numb from the pain being so strong. I finally reached the bridge and climbed to the top of the siding and looked out at the water below me.

They say that true love hurts, well this love that I have for him could almost kill me. Young love murder is what this has to be and the fact that I'm willing to throw it all away shows that. I'd rather give it all up to not be sleeping without him.

I stand there numb, scared, hurt, cold, tears falling. I don't know what I'm waiting for, why I don't just jump already, but all I know is that just when I'm about to get the nerve to a car starts driving down the street and the only reason I know this is because I feel the headlights shining on me and I'm pretty sure the cars stopped as I can barely hear the car door open over all the thoughts going on in my head.

"Gabriella?-"

I hear the voice call to me and I don't know if it just my head playing tricks with me at this moment of desperation or if its reality but I could swear that the voice belongs to Troy. I don't know for sure though because I'm too scared to turn around. I don't want to turn around because I know if I do I'll only stop myself from what I'm about to do. I go to jump once again but the voice of Troy stops me again but only this time it sounds closer.

"Gabriella, what the hell are you doing?"

I feel my heart rate start to speed up and I don't know what to do. All I can think is this cannot be happening. Troy isn't here it's all my imagination and I need to snap out of it.

"Look I don't know if this is my head playing tricks on me or what but Troy can't be here. I need to do this and I can't do it if Troy's here so please just leave me alone" I said out loud desperately hoping the voice would go away

"Gabriella, I'm not going anywhere. I'm really here and I'm not leaving until you get down from their"

"How do I know your really here?"

"Just turn around" Troy tells me but I can't turn to look at him
"No- I can't turn around, I told you I have to do this and I'm not letting you stop me"

"What is it that you have to do Gabriella? Kill yourself because if that's the case there is no way I'm gonna let that happen" He said raising his voice and it sounded like he was right behind me but like I told him before I'm not turning around to look

"Well you're gonna have to because there's nothing you can say to make me get down from here."

It was silent for a moment and I wasn't sure where he went but then a moment later he was back

"Well if there's nothing I can say then I'm just gonna have to come up there and get you myself"

"Troy, don't be stupid you don't need to come up here"

"Yes I do, you're trying to jump off a bridge and kill yourself and you're calling me stupid"

"Maybe it's because I am stupid Troy"

"You're not stupid Gabriella, but what you're doing is really stupid…"

"No I really am stupid Troy, I gave up the best thing in my life and I don't deserve to live anymore. I can't deal with the pain anymore…" I said starting to tear up

"Gabriella you're really scaring me, please come down from there so we can talk about this…"

"I told you. I'm doing this."

"Fine then if you're so set on doing this…" He started to say and then one moment I think he's behind me and the next he's climbed up on the side of the bridge next to me "then I'm doing it with you"

"What Troy, you don't need to do this. Just let me go… Please"

"No, you either get down off this bridge and I'll take you home or you jump and I jump in after you. It's your choice"

"Troy you don't understand what I'm going through, I have to do this"

"Gabriella what the hell could you be going through that's making you have to jump off a bridge and kill yourself" He said loudly to me and confused as to why I could be doing this

"I can't live without you Troy. I miss you like crazy, I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I walk around all day with this pain in my chest that won't go away… I can't deal with it anymore" I said the tears down streaming down my cheeks

"Gabriella I don't understand, you broke up with me and now you're saying all this. Did I miss something?" He said now completely confused

"I lied okay. I'm in love with you I always have been. I only broke up with you because I thought it'd be easier this way. I thought that breaking up with you now would give me enough time to heal before we went off to college in the fall…"

He was silent once again, but I looked over at him barely as I held onto the side of the bridge and I could see the hurt in his eyes as he finally knew the truth

"Gabriella I don't understand, why would you lie to me about that. Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

"Because I thought if I told you the truth you it would only hurt you more and I just needed to get away as fast as I could and I figured if I hurt you, you wouldn't want to be around me and it worked but now I realize breaking up with you was the biggest mistake of my life and if I could take it back I would but I can't. I don't deserve you Troy and since I can't be with you then I don't want to live anymore"

"You really hurt me Gabriella, I'll admit that, but if you really love me you won't jump off this bridge right now. Gabriella I still love you and I know you probably won't believe me but I'm willing to give us another shot, but it'll be a little hard to do that if we're dead." He said seriously and trying to lighten the mood but knowing that this was a serious moment.

"How do I know you're not just saying this to get me off and that as soon as I get off your just gonna change your mind?" I asked him softly considering his offer

"You don't…" He said seriously to me "All I can say is that if you truly love me like you say that you do you'll just have to trust me."

I sighed a moment debating what to do. I wanted to believe him I really did. So I took a deep breath going to lean forward and I could see the look on his face out of the corner of my eye and it was a look of horror as he thought I was going to jump and in that moment I knew what I needed to do. I then leaned back making my way down off the bridge and to the cement road I was now standing on once again.

He climbed down after me and I wasn't sure what to say or do. I wasn't sure if I should hug him or what to do because I wasn't sure if he actually meant what he had said. But I didn't have to wonder for long as I felt his strong arms wrap around me and I buried my face in his chest letting the tears soak into his chest.

"Baby, don't you ever scare me like that again. I don't ever want to lose you again so please promise me this is the last time I'll ever have to do this." He said softly to me

"I promise" I mumbled into his chest as he then kissed the top of my head

"Good because I don't ever plan on losing you again and unless something happens otherwise I want us to be together forever." He said to me and I looked up at him and I didn't have even a minute to look at him before his lips were on top of mine as we kissed.

For the first time since our break-up the pain was actually gone. I guess being without him made me realize that I don't ever want to be without him again. True love hurts, but in the end sometimes you have to feel the pain to realize just how strong the love for that special someone really is.


I hope you liked it.

i might add another chapter depending on what everyone thinks of this story; and if you'd want a sequal ideas on what i could do?

Please Review with your thoughts :)

Thanks for Reading!

-Heather