(A/N: This takes place between Small Favor and Turn Coat, and around the start of the first volume of the Haruhi Suzumiya series)

It's not often that I get a case directly from the White Council, but when they come knocking you at least ask them what they want.

Even if what they want is you posing as a teacher at a Japanese high school.

The case came in out of nowhere- Anastasia called me at 11 o'clock at night saying that I was headed off to Kobe, Japan to keep an eye out for supernatural activity. And that was it- no further detail, no reason why, no nothing. It had taken me a week to perfect a translator spell and bind it to a ring. Then there was saying my goodbyes, making sure that Mister and Mouse would be taken care of, contacting the folks on Paranet to hold up the fort while I was gone, and explaining to Murphy that if something strange was in her neighborhood, she couldn't call me this time. There had better be something damn interesting going on to justify putting me on a long-ass boat ride to the Land of the Rising Sun.

I'd settled into the small- and hell's bells do I mean small- apartment they set up for me and immediately set up wards. There was absolutely no threshold here and if the White Council was sending me to investigate then there was good reason to be cautious. Probably.

Because I would raise a lot of hell if there wasn't.

After the wards went up, the arduous task of unpacking began. First came my clothes, then my implements, my books and...

"Konichiwa, Dresden-san." said an obnoxiously familiar voice. I groaned. "Dammit, Bob, how the hell did you-"

"I asked Molly to slip me into your luggage." said Bob. "She did it in a heartbeat."

"Only because it meant not having to deal with you whenever she's practicing." I remarked, glaring at the skull. "How you managed to keep quiet the entire ship ride is beyond me." "As are a bunch of other things." quipped Bob.

I turned my glare up to eleven. "I've got lesson plans to review. You be quiet, I'll find a paperback for you tomorrow." The skull went silent as I lit a candle and pored over the lesson plans I'd been provided, the translator spell helping my brain make the switch between English and Japanese. Didn't make it any less mentally exhausting, though. After an hour of going over the lesson plan for tomorrow, I felt like I'd just run the mental equivalent of a marathon. I rested my head against the desk, and the next thing I knew my wind-up alarm clock was going off.

I swore under my breath and quickly changed my clothes. "I'm late for school. I'm 35 years old and I'm late for school." I laughed bitterly at the strangeness of the situation, putting on my duster- yeah, it would make me stick out like a bad zit on picture day, but me without my jacket is like Indy without his hat. It just doesn't look right.

I hoofed it all the way to the school, hoping not to get my wizard ass fired on the first day.

The class was abuzz with chatter when I reached Class 1-5's door. But everyone went silent the moment I walked through said door. "Alright, class." I said, speaking in Japanese. "My name is Harry Dresden, and I'm your teacher for the time being. Now, when I call your name, say 'here'."

The class went on as normal (or, what I thought would be normal for the class) after that. However, one of the students seemed to hold my attention: a brunette girl with a yellow ribbon in her hair who sat at the back of the class by the window. There was something odd about her and I couldn't put my finger on it. But I didn't dare See her, using my Sight in the middle of a crowded room was incredibly risky. When the end-of-class bell rang, I decided I could hang around to get a better grip on what was hogging my attention. She was talking to the brown-haired boy that sat in front of her excitedly- odd, considering how she'd been stern looking, almost angry when she was in class. I wish I could cheer up that quickly. Heaven knows it would help after seeing...after seeing what happened on that island. Knowing that I was the cause of it. I shuddered, pushing the thought aside. The girl suddenly bolted out of her chair and ran up to me. "Mr. Dresden!" shouted the girl, leaning on my desk. "That's my name, don't wear it out." I said. "Something you need?"

The boy strolled up behind her, looking at me apologetically, like he believed this girl was being a nuisance to me. The girl gave me a beaming smile. "We want to start a club and in order to do that we need a teacher to sponsor it." "What kind of club are you talking about?" I asked. "Glee club? Science club? Arkanos player's group?" "SOS Brigade!" said the girl cheerfully.

I probably looked like a total idiot because I had no clue what the hell an SOS Brigade was. "Is that a club for Morse code enthusiasts?" I asked, feeling like a moron. The girl's cheerful look suddenly changed into a cold stare of disapproval. I was amazed by how she could change moods like the wind changed directions- all over the place, and yet always in your face. "The Spreading Excitement all Over the World with Suzumiya Haruhi Brigade is dedicated to finding aliens, time travelers, espers and sliders and have fun with them."

Now I was really clueless. Aliens? Time travelers? That sounded absurd, and this is coming from a wizard who's met valkyries and has an incubus in his family tree. "I-I'm not sure what those last two things are but there's no such thing as aliens or time travelers."

She looked me square in the eye and I immediately looked down. There was no way I was going to do a soulgaze after what I just went through on the island - I didn't need to transfer my emotional baggage to my students, nor explain the spontaneous mind meld. "Look, there's just no interesting clubs here." she said firmly. "It's all run-of-the-mill and boring. Where's the excitement?"

I had to hold my tongue there. I liked boring. When you see the shit I've seen, you start to crave the run-of-the-mill.

"Even if I were to get behind this club of yours, I just got here. I don't have the authority to officialize your club." I said, holding my hands up in a gesture of surrender. "I'm just a foreign guy in a weird coat, not a miracle worker." That was probably the most bald-faced lie I've ever told. The boy decided to speak up. "Haruhi, look, Mr. Dresden's got a point. Maybe you should ask someone with seniority?" So her name was Haruhi. I filed that away in my head, under 'Kinda Shifty'. Haruhi glared at the boy. "Who's side are you on, Kyon?"

Kyon? What kind of name is that? I felt bad for the guy.

Kyon sighed, rubbing his forehead and suddenly reminding me of Murphy. I could practically smell the exasperation he was feeling and decided to do him, as they said on the streets back in the 80's, 'a solid'.

"I'll see what I can do, Miss-" (I glanced at the student roster) "- Suzumiya." She beamed again. "Thank you!"

With that, she was off and Kyon plodded behind her. Wow, that kid must be really whipped.

I packed up my materials and was half way back to the apartment when I felt something hostile. Cold dread filled my stomach as I tensed up, cursing my decision to leave my blasting rod at the apartment. Suddenly I could feel a rush of wind that felt solid- razor sharp, even- come from behind and whiz by me and narrowly miss me. I turned to see my attacker- a dirty brown weasel the size of a small horse, sickle-like blades poking out from its fur in various locations. The weasel-thing's beady black eyes glinted with keen malice as it slinked towards me, keeping its body low to the ground. I felt bad for whoever worked construction in this town as I pulled out my pentagram amulet. "Forzare!"

A pulse of raw force burst from my amulet and rushed down the alley the thing lurked in like an invisible cannonball. The weasel-thing suddenly picked up speed, jumping to the side and briefly skittered along the wall of a building until the spell had passed. Stars and stones, this bastard was fast. The weasel-thing made a shrill chittering sound before lunging at me, wind blowing around it as it glided towards me. I grit my teeth as I kept my amulet held aloft. "Riflettum!" A shield of energy sprung to life, and the monster collided with it in mid-air. I smirked, feeling triumphant-

-and a brutal pain flared across my back. I turned my head to see that I was being flanked by a 7-foot tall, red-skinned, burly humanoid with a mane of silvery-white hair and only a ratty-looking loincloth to call casual attire. The brute reeked of body odor so foul I thought my nostrils were about to atrophy and die. The only way to describe that horrid smell would be as a mix of runny dog shit and crusty gym socks. In other words, it was capital 'R' Revolting. I gagged, training my amulet on the red stink-factory. "V-vento Servitas!" I choked out. A gust of air barrelled at the giant, but harmlessly blew around him. The brute smiled viciously, giving me a glimpse of its yellowed, jagged fangs. The thing lunged, and fortunately for me it wasn't as fast as its weasel buddy-

Hey wait a minute. Where did that damn weasel go?

My question was immediately answered by a fast-flying monster just barely missing my neck with its blades. The weasel hit the ground and rolled, then got back up, glaring at me intently. I growled. "I haven't got time for this shit..." I huffed. I held my amulet to the sky, amassing as much willpower as I could before shouting. "Igneus Imber!" A massive ball of flame shot upward before splitting into a flurry of smaller fireballs and raining back down on the monsters. The monsters shrieked madly in pain, and melted away into a foul-smelling black slime that didn't look to different from tar. I shuddered and decided to hurry home. Maybe this change of scenery was justified...