Chapter 1: Forgive Me
HLF: Random song that I started to like after browsing YouTube XD Hehe. Hope you like and do not forget to review! Thanks. It's really a beautiful song and it really relates to this situation.
Go look it up if you want... Some may not like it but I do. I originally started off with another song but while in the middle of writing I realized the song was wayyy too chipper for a story leading on in sadness... so I just randomly looked it up on YouTube and I found this. I really love Evanescence and I was like okay what the heck let's just do it. But hope you like it anyways.
Song: Forgive Me
Artist: Evanescence
Disclaimer: I do not own anything but this story.
REVISED: May 13, 2009
Revan stepped out into the bare earth of Tatooine. Their last stop and then off to the Star Forge.
She looked up to the morning sky. Clouds were crossing across its vast expanse. Carth was still angry at her. She knew it. Though there was nothing she could do about it. Nothing but wait.
He needed time, she knew. But how long could one wait? How long could one stay still without knowing what he felt?
She had managed to convince the group to come with her. Well, she managed to convince Carth to come. They all needed some fresh air after the events on the Leviathan. The rest of the group just came because they had nothing to do.
"So where we going?" came the voice of Mission.
The group seemingly pondered for minutes before Canderous spoke up. Revan paid no attention as her mind was somewhere else.
"Maybe the cantina could provide some entertainment... and some drinks, heh" he smirked. Canderous probably hadn't had a good drink in quite a while.
Revan's heart was heavy though she would not admit.
"Revan?" called Juhani.
Revan snapped out of her reverie and looked at the Cathar. Juhani signalled her as in 'come hither' as the group began the trek to the usually busy cantina.
They entered the cantina. It wasn't rush hour so maybe that would explain why the cantina seemed so mellow. A waitress passed by and showed them to a table in the corner.
Revan sat next to Carth, daring to brush her shoulder against his. She knew he flinched.
The stage was empty as a single Rodian pulled a broom, clearing it surface. A sour tune played in the midst of the quiet cantina.
A man sat at one of the tables, his fingers twitching with boredom. A pazaak player, none the less.
She ordered a glass of Tarisian ale and downed it with a gulp. Then another and another... She couldn't even keep track anymore. The corners of her eyes turned fuzzy but that wouldn't matter. Soon she'd be out cold and passed out on the floor.
Revan looked down at the table, her eyes contemplative. Carth stole a glance at her from the corner of his eyes. She was sad, he could tell. But he couldn't just let something like this go... He lost his entire life to people like her.
She couldn't stand it... just sitting next to him unnerved her.
Revan stood and walked away from the group. Mission attempted to stop her.
"Rev-" A hand was put on her shoulder as Jolee pulled her back to her seat. Juhani itched to follow but her senses told her Revan would come to a decision on her own.
Revan walked into the lady's facilities and braced herself on the counter.
She felt sick... disoriented and even sicker. She covered her mouth as reality began to kick in.
"Stupid Carth" she hiccupped as she stared at the mirror.
Her reflection stared back at her as her eyes blinked. They would turn red in the morning she would imagine.
She hung her head and sniffed wiping her nose again. No sound was heard except that of the alcohol-influenced woman.
"Stupid Carth. So stupid..." she whimpered as she held herself up on her arms. An old song came to mind that she had heard once. Though she did not know it, her mouth seemingly opened to words she hadn't thought she knew.
"...Can you forgive me again?"looking up at the white ceiling. "I don't know what I said... But I didn't mean to hurt you"
What if she were to change into the REAL Revan. What would happen then? Would she go on a rampage and kill anything in sight? What would Carth do?
She cursed Saul Karath under her breath.
"I heard the words come out. I felt that I would die"
She remembered the look of painful realization blossom across Carth's face. She could remember how she wanted to chop Saul's body into pieces... just for making Carth feel that way.
"It hurt so much to hurt you"
But, it hadn't really been Saul that had hurt him, it was her.
Should she kill herself? Was it even possible to think like this?
"Then you look at me... You're not shouting anymore... You're silently broken"
She could feel Carth's face crack as he stared at Saul then Bastila then finally to her.
"Carth...?"
She could remember her whisper.
"You knew Bastila?! All this time you knew?"
His usually playful voice was furious. She was the reason why. Bastila's face appeared in her mind. Where was she? What was Malak planning...?
"I'd give anything now, to kill those words for you"
She missed the early days. Back on Taris, just fooling around but yet ever headstrong.
She remembered what it felt like when he told her she was one of the most talented women he has ever seen. The feeling of being wanted or even needed was refreshing.
"Each time I say something I regret I cry "I don't want to lose you. But somehow I know that you will never leave me, yeah"
Revan slid to the floor, no longer able to hold herself up. She curled into a ball and continued to sing the only way she knew how. With earnest.
But she could do nothing but smile weakly at the next line.
"'Cause you were made for me. Somehow I'll make you see. How happy you make me"
There were silent footsteps outside the door. Carth pressed his ear to the door. He heard muffled crying and... a song. She was singing?
He never knew SHE could sing. He would have laughed but the current situation made him think twice.
"I can't live this life... Without you by my side. I need you to survive."
His breath hitched in his throat and couldn't help but step back.
She needed him. He couldn't help but feel bad. Always paranoid. Heh, like she always told him.
He decided to go out on a limb.
The door creaked open as he looked at the woman on the floor. The door swung closed behind him and he could do nothing but stare at her.
"So stay with me..."
Their eyes locked. Sadness, confusion, pain, sorrow...
"You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside that I'm sorry"
He ran forward and grasped her forearms.
"And you forgive me again"
He pulled her up and sat her on the counter. Holding onto each other. Two different people but yet they have so much in common.
"You're my one true friend"
He pulled away from her as she loosely wrapped her arms around his neck.
"And I never meant to hurt you"
Then, there he kissed her.
A spark of something that had been amiss.
Love.
Not exactly the perfect thing to do. But somehow he knew it would be a good start to a new relationship.
HLF: Ehhh... hope you like. I have to say this fic was a bit... troublesome I guess. I changed my ideas a billion times! -cries- Well, sorry if it's not what you expect but I hope you like it...
cya
HLF
