This is dedicated to my friend Lizzie, for inspiring this with her 'my cellphone won't charge' story. Anyway, here goes!

--

"Stupid alarm clock, stop yelling."

"Shane, are you talking to the alarm clock again?"

"Uh, no, sweetie?"

"You were. Stop doing that, it's insane."

"Fine, fine. Did you make some coffee already?"

"Would I even be talking to you if I hadn't?"

"Good point."

"Morning, sweetie."

"Good morning. Did you sleep well?"

"You mean after last night? How could I not? We probably burned enough calories to cover a week's worth of food!"

"I think we should do that more often. It's good for you, after all."

"Sex is good for you?"

"Hey, you got coffee on my shirt!"

"Not my fault. You made me laugh."

"I just can't help it, though, I'm naturally funny."

"Yeah, whatever. Ew, don't hug me! You've got coffee all over your shirt!"

"And it's my fault?"

"Shane, no, get off me!"

"Cait, you're awfully squirmy and loud."

"That's because I'm being assaulted by a freak!"

"Oh, a freak? That's what I am now?"

"No, you've always been one."

"You're really asking for it now, you know?"

"Shane! Shane! Stop tickling me! No, stop!"

"I'm not going to stop, Cait! You asked for it!"

"Fine, fine, I surrender! Yes, we should have sex again because it's good for us! You win!"

"There ya go. Now, can I have some coffee?"

"Serve yourself, you idiot."

"Is Caitlyn being little Miss Grumpy-Pants? Do you need me to tickle you again?"

"No, no! Fine, here you go."

"Thank you."

"I call the shower first!"

"That's not fair! You take too long!"

"But you showered first yesterday!"

"Alright, I'll go after. But you'll let me join you, right, Cait?"

"Uh… You can have it first, Shane."

"What, you don't wanna shower with your fiancé? My, my, is that what it'll be like when we get married? I sure hope not."

"No, it's just that whenever we take a shower together we have sex and that defeats the whole purpose of taking a shower."

"Fine. I'll go first. But I'm straightening my hair!"

"What? No! Shane, come back here! Shane! You better not lock the door! Shane, don't lock the do– Shane! Open the door!"

Pause.

"Are you done yet?"

Longer pause.

"Shane, you're slower than a girl!"

"I am not! I'm just trying to straighten my hair and it won't work!"

"Let me in, I might be able to help."

"You don't even straighten your hair!"

"But I'm a girl!"

"So?"

"Girls know about this kind of thing."

"I bet you don't!"

"So you wanna bet now, do ya, Shane?"

"Well, yes, because I know I'm right."

"What are we betting?"

"Whoever wins gets the other one to do whatever they want to them in bed."

"Fine, then. Let me in."

"Alright, alright, no need to get grouchy, Caity-kins."

"Just open the damn door!"

"But I'm naked!"

"Even better reason."

"Hey, I like how that sounds!"

"Just let me in."

"There ya go. Now, what's your assessment?"

"Well, first of all, you have a cute butt."

"And you just realized that?"

"And the reason your iron wasn't working is… Drum roll, please…."

"I'm supposed to make a drum roll sound now?"

"Because you didn't plug it in!"

"What?"

"Yes, Mr. Gray, the reason you couldn't straighten your hair and made me wait for a frickin' hour is because you, who are a moron, didn't plug it in."

"Oops?"

"Now, what about that bet?"

Slam.

--

Well, what'd you think? It was originally a Jaitlyn, but Shaitlyn works better, don'tcha think?